Wonderfully heart-wrenching narrative. The description of her death is vulgar and yet, in that, is shocking enough to really draw us in and share in Sasuke's horrified revulsion. The ties between them are alluded to nicely...

Well written. Very well written. My only critiquing would be to maybe give us just a smidgen bit more of Sasuke's feelings - we have them hinted, and when they are, it is crazy impactful. Then again, maybe only mentioning them fleetingly makes it more impactful, so... good job either way! ^_^

OMFG this storie rocks my freakin SOCKS! r u gonna right more?lol if u do k.i.t please! i really like your storie it very deatiled and very very to my likeing lol thanx and bye lol

Beautifully written, a beautiful death, very intense and very sad.

Wow.
Just... Wow.
Very poetic, moving. Fluid.
Its quite beautiful.
Your choice of words, and the emotion put into your writing.
I look forward to reading more of your works.