UPDATE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I'm still subbing this even though it says it's finished, cause it's super awesome! Oh yeah I'm also gonna fav it too. :)

please update soon!

nice writing style. One of the few pokemon fanfiction stories with excellent writing.

I love your story, it's great so far and I'm only on the second chapter. You have so great characters. I like how you made the pokemon talk.

I read your story already so far. Why did you stop it? It was a good story! You should start again.

... Okay, here is my review. I've only just read the first chapter.

Let me start off by saying that this is the BEST trainer fic I have ever read, by far. First off, you say you don't know much about Pokémon, and yet seeing from how you've described the devices (pokeballs and pokedex) so clearly, it's like you know a lot about it.

The battle at the beginning pulled the reader in. Despite the length of the story, it still got me to read on. (That's something new, seeing as I haven't found a good story in ages) Not only this, but I found no spelling/grammar mistakes at all.

What bothers me is how you say at the beginning "If this is bad, then say so for pity’s sake and I’ll stop!". Surely an excellent story like this one shouldn't be stopped by someone who simply dislikes your fic? After all, there are a lot of fans of this story.

The only thing I can think of improving is the knowledge on attack names. At the start, in the battle, the pokemon use attacks like "Sleep Wave" and "Trance" and "Poison Horn Charge"... They aren't real attacks. But, this is something very minor, so I wouldn't worry about it. Of course, you might have improved on this in later chapters...

The last thing I can say is: Keep it up, you're doing well.

Please! update! your story is too good to be thrown aside any longer!

Excellent fic. I see people talking about how 'the game doesn't have this or that' and you've explicitly said that you're not sticking entirely to canon material. Keep it up..even though you have't updated in 3 years.

*laughs* I know this story hasn't been updated in a while (or maybe it's finished?), but let me just say this-
This fanfic is nicely written and all, but the thing that stopped me from reading more is this- In nearly every Trainer fic I read, the main trainer gets and EEvee, and his rival gets a Charmander. I can't force myself to read ANYTHING with this overused combination.
Sorry, but I just can't read this fic.(If that matters to you anymore, since this fic is either abandoned or finished. *shrug*)
PS- Sorry if I sounded rude or mean, I didn't mean to.

This fic is great! I can't wait to see what will happen with Peter and Lia now... And I wonder if they will meet Domino.. :-)

Please, keep this fic going!

Joshua

I just finished reading the last chapter you have up so far. Overall, one of the best fanfics I've read, and I look forward to seeing more. But considering that you haven't updated this in two years, I don't know if that's even going to happen. Even the ones you said you were going to concentrate on at the end haven't been updated for a while either. I hope you'll write more of this, but I'll understand if you don't.

The only thing I didn't really like about the story was that Pikachu/Raichu/Pichu "trial" session, mainly because I disagree with the "psychic translation" thing. I don't think that animals really have languages of their own. They have their ways of saying certain things, but I don't think they really have languages. They are, after all, lower life forms. And pokemon are at the same level as animals, so there. Plus, I never heard anything in the game or the anime about psychic acuity or anything like that anyway.

Also, another thing about pokeballs. You mentioned the min/max function seen in the cartoons, but never mentioned the purpose of that or implied it somewhere in the story. I would think that would be better if you included a brief description of at least your best speculation about why that is, either in the narrative or in a quote from Professor Oak.

Well, that's about it. I'm also planning on writing some fanfics. The first one, which I hope to start posting chapters on in a few weeks or so, is going to be a Star Wars fic called "In a Galaxy Even Farther Away", where a Jedi goes out on vacation, but the hyperdrive on his ship goes haywire and sends him into a galaxy far away from home, where two Sith Lords have conquered a civilization and continue to wreak havoc, so it's up to the Jedi to stop them. I'm also planning on a Pokemon fic which will be a next-generation-type fic. It will take place like 20 or 30 years after Ash started his journey, but will feature almost all original characters. I don't know when I'm going to start that, but it probably won't be long after I get my SW fic going. I've already written the first chapter (but I'll be revising it again soon) and part of the second chapter of my SW fic, so that will come first. Anyway, be on the lookout for those.

Hi. It's me again. :)

There are a few things I wanted to mention that I forgot to say in my last review. First, I liked your "Stink Spray" attack that Bugsy did on Team Rocket earler. I laughed my pants off at that one. I'm also considering writing a pokemon fanfic, and maybe I'll create a "Raspberry Stinkbomb" attack, if you get my drift. :) Also, as far as grooming and feeding pokemon and stuff like that goes, I would think that a pokemon center would also do that in addition to healing trainers' pokemon. A trainer would certainly have to do all that if they're far away from one, but I'm sure a pokemon center would take care of it. I remember seeing an episode in the Orange League series about a pokemon center being short on pokemon food, so that's how I came up with that idea.

And again, nice work on the character development of Lia. I think she's starting to become my favorite character in this story. I admit, I thought she was a rich snob not ready for the challenge of being a pokemon trainer. I'm surprised to see that there's as much as there is underneath all that, and at how tough she's becoming. I could tell there was going to be a romance starting between the two even from the beginning, but I thought it was going to be a lame Ash and Misty love/hate type of relationship. I'm glad it's not that. The only thing is that she's changing so darn fast, and while I know that anything can happen in a fictional story, I think that's kind of unrealistic. There are people in this world who don't care about ANYTHING as long as they're making money and LOTS of it, and obviously, she is the daughter of such people, so a lot of pride and greed had no doubt been instilled in her from her parents' example. I think it would take a lot more to make her swallow her pride the way she has than what she's experienced. That's my only concern about Lia, but other than that, good job.

Well that should cover it-for now anyway. :) L8er.

Awesome fic! One of the best fanfics I've read. I liked the character development of Lia and the technical descriptions of the pokeball and pokedex. I wouldn't have thought of those myself.

I also like the idea of the main character having a vision problem. It seems that everyone creates a hero who is in perfect health and has no physical problems or anything like that whatsoever, and this also sends a message that such impairments don't have to keep you from doing the things most people without such a problem do. I'm blind in one eye and have limited vision in the other, and the only thing I can't really do is drive, but I can still do most things. I even bowl, and I have about a 115 average. But I have to shatter the stereotype of people who wear glasses not being able to see (or barely being able to see) without them. I'm not sure if you're going by that of if it's your intent to have him "visually impaired", so to speak. I wear glasses, too, and I still see pretty good without them. I'm nearsighted, and I use glasses to see farther away. I can still see where I'm going and stuff without my glasses, so I could go without them if I had to, but everything would just be a bit blurry. For instance, say I'm looking at a lit-up Christmas tree from the other side of the room. I can see all the lights without my glasses, but they look like colored blotches. But with my glasses on, I can make out the bulbs in more detail. So I just wanted to clear that up. Just because someone has glasses doesn't mean they're blind without them. I've often been asked if I've considered contacts, too, and I can relate to Peter, as I'm also awkward about contacts, so you did that well. Contacts would almost be senseless for me. Being blind in one eye, having a second lens to match the other one would serve no purpose, unless you can get them in singles instead of pairs.

Also, I wanted to mention something about your impression of staying overnight at a pokemon center. I always imagined them being free of charge as well, but I think even having "dorm rooms" is a little too much to offer for a free service. With as many trainers as they obviously have staying for the night, there couldn't possibly be enough rooms. I imagined more of a "snooze room" than a bunch of dorm rooms. It would be either one big room with several army cots or fairly cheap beds (maybe even bunk beds to save floor space) set up in rows or something like that, or several small rooms (maybe separate rooms for men and women). They might have some individual rooms with more comfortable beds for those willing to pay for a room. But when a free night's stay is offered, you can bet that a lot of people are going to take them up on that offer-too many to have individual rooms or even two to four roommates per room. They should also have some kind of security system to keep street bums and moochers from trying to sneak a free night's stay, and make sure that only registered pokemon trainers get to stay for free, and maybe offer it to those willing to pay a small fee ($3 to $10) if they're not too full. Plus I think another Pokemon fanfic I read had it set up like that. As for having a curfew, I certainly agree with that. The other fanfic also had a curfew at a pokemon center, and one with so many people sleeping in one room had BETTER have one to prevent anyone from coming in late at night and waking half the room up.

Overall, very good. Keep up the good work.

I always figured New Trainer fics should stick to the trainer. Bringing in "Our Heroes" doesn't seem like a good idea to me, as people already tend to follow them, and any successful fic in the genre has to be rather character-driven. I don't see problems with minor characters (The Astounding Mandy, Flint, and various other one-shots); occasionally they make very good costars as well.

But this is Peter's tale, dang it! The Twerp Trio really has no place here, at least in my view. Two chapters worth of Ash & company is a bit much, Ben.

On to the positive. The style, as usual with your writings, is simply marvelous. Curious is fast becoming one of my favorite characters in all of fanfic, Lia's transformation is fascinating...you have a lot working in your favor here.