Oh, he ends it with a CLIFFY! NICE! Great job with this story Dennis. You work is well researched and very detailed. I really enjoyed it. I"m looking forward to story #3! :)

WOW! GO JEFFY GO! :) I'm thinking someone should have painted HIM in the picture, addressing Congress! LOL :) Great chapter! one more to go! :D LOL

Nice job here… I like learning about how the D of I was pulled together, and that bit that needs to be removed… I don’t remember learning about that.. but hey, it WAS over 30 years ago! LOL

You do very well with the interplay between Bogg and Jeff. Their brotherly banter just cracks me up. Beautiful women around, indeed! LOL And now the Loft for Jeffy? Poor kid! LOL

And I wonder what changes Adams and Franklin think need to be made now? I swear, it’s a miracle Jefferson ever finished the dang thing!

Woot for the good guys! :D I LOVED Bogg’s speech… and it wasn’t even necessary! LOL Poor guy. But he did a great job anyways. And aw… tender moments for “father” and “son”. They’re so dad gum cute together.

And now… onward to the D of I! :D LOL

My my MY! Mrs. J certainly is a hussy, isn't she? ROFL I was afraid she was going to do that... but oh my goodness! Good thing Bogg runs fast. LOL

Their little talk afterwards seemed rather soap-operaish to me, but your writing has improved greatly since this first story, so I'm not worried. ::wink:: I kinda like reviewing this way... I can watch the improvements move right along!

Uh oh!! Mrs. Jefferson better NOT be hitting on Phineas! LOL That Jefferson is one stubborn man… I hope they convince him to change his mind! :D LOL I’d like to see what they come up with. This is really good so far! You’re so clever!

Another good chapter Dennis. :) Kinda scary with the crash though… don’t hurt our boys! LOL And losing the Omni was a nice touch. Adds that bit of drama that we love so very much. And now, Onward to Monticello!

So, we’re off to convince Jefferson to come back are we? Good luck boys! LOL I like Jeff’s plan better: get the wife involved! LOL

I loved the interaction of Congress… it sort of reminded me of the movie 1776, without such comedy. (“Sit DOWN, John!” “Somebody open up a window!) LOL Great movie!
I do hope they catch Jefferson in time!

I'm not sure if you knew about most of the delegates being atheists/deists. For instance Thomas Jefferson was a steadfast supporter of the separation between church and state and he said "The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter."

Benjamin Franklin also said "Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."

John Addams also said "I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved--the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced!"

LOL.. a bath for Jeff eh? :) And good job Jeff for seeing Standish coming. I was afraid Bogg was gonna get shot! :O So glad he didn't! Your writing's getting better and better Dennis, great job! :)

I'm liking this more and more! And interesting that they have to "search" for the red light... Onward to chapter 6! :)

What a great start to the story! A Hot dog indeed! LOL! And the camping trip... Phineas is getting very fatherly and I'm eating it up!! I like how he distracted Jeff and got him into the water... such a clever boy.:) Your Jeff still has a lot of insecurities, doesn't he? How many times has he asked "you're not leaving me here, are you?" or said, "don't leave me here, Bogg!" Poor kid needs to attach a pager to his partner! LOL

Anyway, looking forward to the rest of the story. :)

Dayna

Oh No! A cliffhanger!! Omni Recall call code, thats a good name for it:) You have a good grasp on American history here, I don' t remember too much from school, so thanks for that little history lesson. It takes me way back to 7th grade, the last time we studied American history. I also remember we had to watch 1776 the musical and my teacher just fawned over Thomas Jefferson! I enjoyed Jeffrey's speech, I can totally see it in the show too. I can't wait for the next story:)

Great chapter, you really captured events inside independence hall as realistic as possible and with your usual wit. I have one question about Phineas and Jeff meeting Benjamin Franklin. Wouldn't Franklin have recognized Phineas and Jeffrey from when they helped him with the kite and lightning? That was in episode 3-Bully and Billy. However, I don't know if the signing of the Declaration came before or after that event, so I could be wrong.
Great story so far!