Maybe it's because I'm used to your poetry, but the dialogue in this one seemed awkward to me, possibly because I don't think it's normal (in conversations anyway) for people to speak at length without interruptions like a lecture. I understand that Cale *is* basically receiving a lecture, but I dunno.

I admit I've never heard this song but thus the title seems out of place. This also felt *too* short in my opinion, like I would've preferred a longer treatment of the subject, but I know you've been writing your Warlord stuff for a long time so perhaps that's why it comes so much easier to you than me.

For example, the thing with Cale's scar ... did you make that up or is that canon from a drama CD or somesuch? That's definitely getting worked into my story (it was before I read this) since I feel that it, like Dais' eyepatch and Sekhmet's snake-like eyes, have had innumerable different stories made up about them.

I appreciated the specific places and cultural accuracies, though, I must admit.
~Shin-no-Nekochan >|< >o+

This is a very nice story Izzy. I think that Cale is going to find that he will enjoy this celebration in the mortal realm more than he thinks he will.