Excellent story, so sad. I would love to know what happens next, have you thought of doing a sequel?

oh..
that so sad.. i almost cried..
c the tears? T.T
anyway : fav!
but i wud've liked the story to go on slightly longer..

This is a very sweet sad story. You let the emotion build naturally so that the pain can be felt under the surface rather than forcing it. Your English does come across as a little 'odd' however. Personally i find it quite charming :)but it would be distracting to a lot of people. For instance a 'mobile cake vendor' would be someone who sells mobile cakes. Perhaps 'the cake vendor's cart will still...'

Also medicament would be medicine in English or medication in American.

But very nice, I enjoyed it a lot.

heartbreaking and beautiful.

I would recommend that you get a native English-speaker to beta-read this for you because there are quite a lot of places where things sound odd (for example, "medicament" should be "medicine" or "medication"), but as the last reviewer said, the mood of the piece shines through nevertheless.

I am so happy you translated this. Its so sad. You write sad like this so well though. I know it's not beta'd and all that, but the mood of the piece was perfect. It was just this steadily worsening feeling until at the end, somehow, it's just one of those ends that could means oemthing bad, or it could be good.

Like Kakashi could be the one thing to save Iruka.

Thank you so much for translating for those of us that can't read the original