Hello. I just read your whole story, and I wanted to say that it is really very good. Are you planning on continuing it?
I hope so! 8D Your writing style is nice, and the plot is made well if a bit slow. XD Not that thats a bad thing, it makes us want to keep reading more lol.I also think you portryed the characters vert well... Hope you decide to continue!

'“What does Tokio-dono do when you come home at night?”

Saitou’s expression firmed from a vaguely uncommunicative frown to embarrassed hostility. “She serves tea that tastes good and doesn’t hit me over the head. Beyond that is not your business, Battousai,” he spat."

Lol! I never imagined that Saitou could get embarrassed. There's a first time for everything! You know, it's kind-of strange to imagine that the RuroKen Saito (not the real one) could ever actually find a wife and love her... hmm, do we get some scenes of those two later on?


“Story time with Saitou...” Lol! I can picture that as some sort of Japanese children's program, featuring Saitou in a blood-soaked uniform reading from a violent picture book of the Bakumatsu to a classroom of young, easily-traumatized children: “The Wolves of Mibu will eviscerate wicked men, will kill evil instantly, and the blood will rain down from the heavens in a holy storm for the sake of Japan and over a battlefield of fallen men the Third Unit will cry, “'“For the Shogun!”'”-- lol. He can get a bit over-zealous, can't he?

I loved Saito's uniform line.

“He had quite a ways to fall still before he’d set out to hurt one of Okami-san’s girls.” Awh! How chivalrous of you, Ken-san. Lol. You're adorable... well, you would be, except that you're slightly in the loon bucket at the moment, what with forgetting what era you're in and all.

“Katsura-san would be upset that his investment hadn’t paid off.” Awh. Do you really think that Katsura would be so heartless, Ken-san? LTL anyway, along with “The blood has finally driven me mad.”

“He’d be able to use the mirrored surface to see just what an insane hitokiri looked like.” You get across Kenshin/Battousai's snarkyness so well. This line has had me cackling for a while now.

“The world has gone mad in my place.” LTL! I love that line to pieces and bits!

'“Was this one dying yesterday?”' Snark alert! You're so good at this...

I lovelovelove the Kaoru laundry scene. “I'm wrist-deep in blood. Is this what he sees everytime he does laundry?” So great. And it probably is what he sees. Poor Ken-san. Lol. I can't wait for them to get to the bottom of the truth about Tomoe, if they ever do/Kenshin lets them.

“I can’t ease pain he won’t show me.” LTL.

“I’ve got two shoulders for crying on.” That's so sweet. Awh. I just want to give Sano a big huggly-wuggly now. But then: '“I think I do, too, damn it!”' You have his personality tacked down so well, it's amazing. Have I told you you're amazing yet? Because you are. Because you really are seriously super-duper amazing. Lol, where is all this '80s talk coming from? I sound like Danny Tanner. Lol. And of course you should like Sano! You do an awesome job of writing him.

“Must have been a friend.” How wrong you are, Sano!

“Serves him right, the bastard.” LTL. Sano's such an opinionated guy. I also love Saitou in this scene, so, so much. “He accepted the tea with a curt nod and immediately set it down on the tatami untasted.” Lol, Kaoru's cooking must really be horrible, if even Saitou's heard how bad she is. Lol.

'“I was referring to your tea. It’s the worst I’ve had since Okita tried his hand at it.”' LTL! I love that line so much! God, Saitou's so blunt as well. Him and Sano should have a war of words sometime.

I love how when he talks to 'Tomoe', his tone becomes more testy again, almost as if he's irritated by her or something. IDK. I'll never know the realms of Kenshin's mind like you do, O Ace One.

“... not releasing her hold on Kenshin despite the sticky warmth of his bleeding left cheek.” You know, to me, blood isn't really that warm. Whenever I get blood on me (unavoidable, at certain times of the month... cough) it's not really warm OR cool, because it's human body temperature. It's really disconcerting to me. If it wasn't for the wetness, it's like it wouldn't even be feel-able.

“I don't want to talk about that, Sano. Please do not ask again.” Gah! That's so great, how you manage to do these things, how asking just something like that would remind Kenshin of Tomoe and the village, and how Kenshin reacts is the most important thing of all. Seriously, I hope you're not discontinuing this or anything, because I'll be so, so pissed if I don't get to read the end of this story.

“Anyone else would leave the mug to be washed later.” That says so much about Kenshin's personality right there. Again, it's AMAZING how you do this. Seriously.

“Kenshin had shrugged, then muttered something about the unfairness of life.” Yes, I'm sure Kenshin knows lots about that. LTL.

“Maybe I’ve been adopted into some twisted squad of the Shinsengumi that exists only in Saitou’s head.” LTL. LTL so, so much. You do an excellent job of getting across Kenshin's snarkiness, which he is. Most writers ignore it. He's at his most snarky and acerbic when in Battousai mode, and I've noticed that you're slowly increasing how easily he gets irritated, and things like that. There's nothing like character development to make a reader squeal in delight. :D

“.. and Kenshin was pleased with his work.” Now, rurouni Kenshin would never have felt like that. You're blurring the lines quite nicely.

“In Kyoto, Katsura-san would have understood if he returned for support before tackling this assignment.” Again, blurring the lines! It's amazing how you manage to do this. You keep adding more references to Kyoto, to Battousai, and letting Kenshin's personality slowly change, and... it works really, really well.

“Katsura-san will reprimand me when he finds out.” There it is again! You're such an awesome writer. Seriously. So, so awesome. I think you should change your penname to Her Eminence, Awesome McCoolness Forever, seriously. How do you DO this? It's mind-boggling.

“... spared only enough time in leaving through the kitchen’s shoji to murmur a thank you to the new widow for keeping her eyes closed.” LTL.

I love how you got through this entire chapter with very little dialogue, and through the entire assassination scene with none at all. It makes it seem very somber and very, very real.

“They were technically loaners from Katsura-san, and as such demanded a greater level of care than anything he actually owned.” Love that. Love that so much, both how he's reverting back to his Kyoto days, and how he takes better care of Katsura's stuff than his own.

“And none of the turns led to the inn or even a Shishi safe house...” Poor, poor Ken-san. (weeps) Dear Ken, I hope you don't resent me too much that I adore and love your angst and mental turmoil. Oh, and I think you look really, really cute in your police ha-- (is Kuzu Ryu Sen-ed into oblivion)

“Except for laughing Okita. That one never looked quite like he belonged with the others.” In that one line, you Great Author of Infinite Win and Awesomeness, have made my day. Again. LTL.

“What is wrong with me today?” I think I know, Ken-san. It starts with 'Batt' and ends with 'ousai'.

'“Shishio would have called them highly nutritious.”' Um. Uhm... I don't know exactly what to say about this, except A) it fits Saitou's personality, and B), it's really creepy. Lol.

Lol. The lightness at the end of the chapter is very disconcerting, after wading through Ken-san's angst and musings for so long. The hat can't really be that bad, can it? (is slapped by Kenshin)

Uhm, I think I made a mistake reviewing Chapter 10. If it's confusing (the site won't let me view the review yet), that's why. I don't have internet at home, so I had to save this story to my laptop and write a review for it at home, and I've been copy-and-pasting it from my word doc... It gets confusing! I hate the new format that ff dot net has. The old one was so much simpler... sigh.

Anyway, here's my review for this chapter:

“Even his income and government stipend were denoted in the margins along with a snide remark about how the widow would be well cared for. Had Saitou been nearby, Kenshin might have been tempted to pick a fight with the bastard over that comment.” Loved two things about this: the “snide remark”, and how Kenshin actually calls Saitou a bastard. You can tell he's not 100-percent rurouni at the moment.

“The clothes, the weapons, the time of day. Even the envelopes. It’s all going to run together eventually, no matter what Sano thinks he’ll do to help.” Love that line. You know what? I type that so often that I'm just going to start using an abbreviation: LTL.

“Saitou would have probably invited himself in for tea and left the body bleeding into the tatami. That was his style.” LTL, and I also love how you put little bits of Japanese culture into the story: 'tatami' instead of 'rug', and the cooking chopsticks you were referring to earlier, for instance.

“Kenshin remembered having such a voice at one time. That had been well before his shishou had found him.” LTL. “He felt heat from his left cheek and didn’t bother to wipe the blood away.” LTL.

“...and Idomu perhaps wouldn’t have nightmares of the headless corpse variety.” LTL. Kenshin can be so snarky, and not necessarily when he wants to be.

“He’d ended up in front of old Ishin Shishi safehouses when he’d let his mind wander during his recovery in Kyoto. But he’d never allowed his internal maps of Bakumatsu Kyoto to guide his steps in Tokyo before.” Lol, I can only imagine how disconcerting that would be.

“I’m surprised your eyes haven’t turned.” Wah! Why can't I have multi-colored eyes? Well, you know, if I ever DO decide to cosplay as Battousai, I'll have one thing down pat: the eyes. I have amber eyes. Lol. Unfortunately, I don't have red hair... It's very translucent brown with auburn, though. Does that count? No. (squashes hopes)

“...the foreign cluster of swords that seemed too heavy for Kenshin’s slight figure.” I KNEW you'd address the 3-swords issue.

“So this is what it takes to make a grown man cry... I wonder if he cried then, too. During the Bakumatsu. He was just a kid.” Sano, why so introspective and thoughtful? Lol. Great line. How many times have I said that? I've lost count, actually.

'“I’ll push my way forward, over corpses.”' Uhm...how can I articulate how awesome that line is? God! Where do you get them? (glares suspiciously) Are you Don Delillo in disguise? Or Erich Maria Remarque?

'“Saitou’s a bastard. That’s how he does it.”' Blunt as usual, Sano. And Saitou IS a bastard... a cool bastard. Lol.

“You didn’t kill me.” I love how that can be taken two different ways: either he's talking about Tomoe or he's talking about the men Kenshin killed tonight. That's great. Not sure if it was intentional (probably was), but still great.

“The Miburo would fight to the death to protect Japan, and if that protection involved the fall of the Meiji, Saitou would ensure it.” I LOVE YOUR DEPICTION OF SAITOU. Yes, I'm a slight Saitou fangirl. And an Okita fangirl. And a Battousai fangirl. And a Katsura fangirl. And... and... well, I just love the whole Bakumatsu bunch. Lol. Maybe that's why I like this story so much. Hmm, Bakumatsu Bunch... it sounds like a cereal brand or something.

“The gi will hold the blood well.” Uh... lol? Who picks their clothes based on their ability to hide blood? Well, Patrick Bateman, Dexter, Shishio Makoto, and... Himura Kenshin, that's who!

“Their combined weight at his hip sent a feeling of rightness through him, a feeling that was simultaneously sickening and comforting.” Beautiful sentence. Hmm, but considering that a katana weighed on average 8-10 pounds (I think), if Kenshin is carrying a sakabatou, a katana, and a wakizashi, doesn't that mean that he's like... carrying up to 25 pounds? Lol. One would think his obi would fall down his hips, unless he had it tied REALLY tight. I'm glad I'm a girl. Nothing ever falls down from my waist. Lol. Or is that a bad thing? IDK.

“Don’t think about it. Just … don’t think about it.” Poor Kenshin. But still... I'm loving this angst. Lol.

'“Aku,” he breathed, readying his katana. “Soku.” Kenshin tensed, preparing his body for both the leap and landing. “Zan.”' OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY! That's the most awesome ending line for a chapter I have EVER SEEN. (commences to squeal like a stuck pig)

'“He’ll never be a hitokiri again. Never.”' Now, why on Earth do I have the feeling that Kaoru is going to get proved wrong in that statement? Hmm, and also, I think Kenshin would had to have killed Shishio if he hadn't died on his own. Either that, or someone else would have to have stepped up and killed him.

“Kaoru may be living in an innocent dream world...” Lol! That quote made my day, mostly because I know a TON of people living in innocent dream worlds.

“But they were very convenient for losing followers and avoiding spies.” Lol, Creepiness Factor 9, Captain! That's like someone commenting on how pretty a Mountain Laurel is, and then someone else saying, “And they're very convenient for poisoning people.” Love that.

'“Even during the Revolution, they wouldn’t have taken one that young. Unless he was very skilled with a sword.”' Jeez, Kenshin, you're full of interesting monologues today, aren't you? I love how jaded and... somehow, trying-not-to-be-jaded you make Kenshin.

“He tried to tell her to go back to the dojo, but his jaw refused to unclench.” Great line. Again. This story has lots of great lines.

'“... the children of Japan thank you for your sacrifice.”' How do you do this? I want to simultaneously A) cry for Kenshin, B) stare in awe at this story, and C) tell Kenshin to stop being such a wuss and to go do what's necessary (but morally questionable)!

Yes! Yes! Yes! (jumps up and down) You actually did it correctly! You actually called them 'Shishi' instead of 'Ishin'. A lot of fanfic writers call the Ishin Shishi 'Ishin' for short, but it should really be 'Shishi' instead. Yay! Good job. And it's pathetic that I got so happy over that.

“If you want to go so badly, Kaoru-dono, then this one will not object.” That says a lot about dear Kenshin's personality/emotional state at the moment. It's very subtle, but at the same time... noticeable, that he will “not object”, not that he “will like to go”. I also love how you have him constantly refer to himself as “this one”. I really do. It makes him seem so meek and... I don't know. It makes him seem like he doesn't think it's worth it for him to stick up for himself, or... something. Idk, like I said.

More loving: I love how Sano says 'Kami-sama' instead of just plain 'Kami'. A lot of people get that wrong and make it 'Kami!', which is like saying, 'Gods!' in the context of 'the gods'. At least, I think... because kami is plural but at the same time singular, but if you were using singular you'd say 'Kami-sama'... or something. Lol, yeah, I'm probably completely wrong.

“There was no justice to that. And more than a little injustice.” God! (whimpers) Where do you GET these great phrases and descriptions and things? That line is so awesome.

'“Saitou, is the situation really that bad?”' Awh! I can already tell I'm going to love your Saitou/Ken friendship/camaraderie/whatever thing I can see you're setting up.

'“Too deep for this Miburo to handle without help... But I’ve been told he’s too afraid of spilling blood to help the weak.”' You have Saitou's personality down pat. And I loved the “almost missed the sadness” thing, and the repetition of “Then there's selfishness.”

Thanks for taking the time to write this masterpiece!

“When you slay evil immediately, it doesn’t have the chance to do things like this. When you slap evil on the wrist, it goes out and buys guns. There's idealism and then there's selfishiness.” Ah, Saitou, always a realist. I think Kenshin will, one day, scream at him, “I hate people like you who only think realistically!” Lol. This was a short chappy, not much to say, but I love the last line. I really do.