Oh, Fen, I've been trawling ff.n for the best part of an hour, and it is all so worth it. This is simply my favourite young!Jonathan fic, and it's lovely to see this side of his relationship with Delia, especially with all the undercurrents of what is yet to come.

This is a beautiful story. I was surprised to see a Delia/Jon story, so I popped in for a look. When I did, it was strangely lovely. There is something very alive about this piece and also nostalgic, dreamy, and... aware, I suppose.

However, I laughed when Jon compared Delia's eyes to grass.

I'm starting here, because I'm not a visual reader at all. I usually skim-read the parts that authors put tons of effort slaving away at, creating description that doesn't fall back on cliched metaphor, and I go straight for dialogue and characterization. But this I read and I could SEE it, the metaphor was such a perfect visual, with the child's arms stretching up like the tree branches towards the sun; and there's a mythic tinge to the image (child=tree, growth, Earth, of this world; father=sun, sky-realm, of the gods, unchanging -- Aztec mythology or Native, perhaps?, anthropomorphizing the sun and moon); and there's the nostalgia that it evokes as well of the child yearning for its parent. It kind of hit me Bang! in the brain. You never stop surprising me. I think I have a good idea of what you write and where you come from, and then you pull something like this, or Epitaph for an Umbrella, out of your hat, and I kind of sit there stunned. When did you get the maturity to write these kinds of stories, and how did I miss it?

And as for the rest of it. Man, what to say. The feel to the story is really something. You evoke a definite place and time and feel. It's lazy and dreamy and nostalgic, and there's little bits of sharpness that lurk just under the pleasant surface and poke through from time to time. Again, the description does half the storytelling-- the whisper of silk and linen, the stray curl Jon watches Delia toy with, the feel of the grass on bare skin, the smell of a rose, the warmth of the sun.

The characterization is really something. They seem exactly the age they should be, and exactly the right kind of people. And it's beautiful the way you only allude to deeper issues, barely touching on them, so as not to ruin the feel of the piece; like the way they are both caged (inside palace walls, convents, conventions, expectations) and not sure if they even want to break out. But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and knowing what is coming for them, we can still watch them brush off their cares for the future and enjoy the day and each other.



So, yes. Wow. Fluff this is not. Or if it is, fluff is the new shiny. Love, Me.

Loved it! I love Delia stuff and there really isn't enough of it. Great story!

VERY WELL DONE! I don't normally like DeliaXJon pairings but this story has been done beautifully. I do believe at sometime or another Delia had actually fallen in love with Jon...


Cheers
Arianla™

Start with a base of 1080, for all 1080 words of sheer beauty. This is the most stunning piece of fluff ever, seriously, and therefore almost doesn't count - where did you learn to write like this? It's all dreamy, sun-dappled, chivalrous picnics in the park with extreme amounts of reality check lurking underneath. Wow.

Take 10 for actually using Jonathan as a character, even if you did not use the line, and another 10, just cause it's Jon/Delia (squee!). And another 50,0 for the tree for being Jon's best friend. It played with him when he was little, it kept his tiny, rebellious little secrets and now it's helping him pick up chicks. (Plus another 50, because now Jon and Kel have tree climbing in common - they should so totally climb the same tree one night.)

One point each for each of the following uber-romantic Jon and cynical-but-wanting-to-be-won-over Delia moments:
-Jon's make-out spot
-Jon finding a classroom of lovelorn girls hot instead of disturbing (he would!)
-Jon comparing Delia's eyes to grass. Grass. I tell you. A poet the boy is not.
-Delia and Jon talking to each other on equal ground about Things of Importance.
-Delia biting her lip.
-Jon doing the arrogant prince thing and Delia laughing at him for it
-Jon doing the besotted thing and Delia mocking him for it.
-Jon doing the rebel thing and Delia mocking him for it
-the Palace Guard serving as fire fighters to get cats out of trees. I hope someone got scratched.
-Delia getting Jon to climb the tree by telling him to climb the tree, then telling him not to climb the tree. (which, actually, isn't a bad metaphor for their relationship)
-Jon and the ROSE. Smelling the rose. Tossing the rose. (hah -the boy is smooth)
-Jon suggesting she get out of her clothes (not so smooth) followed by Delia rolling her eyes :D

And finally, minus 300 for the unhappy ominous foreshadowing: “Big. But why would I want to be out there, when you’re in here?” (ouch, ouch, ouch. here's where Jonathan's rose thorn comes out to get him.)

:(

Loveinafic

Sally