ok ojala se de todo bien saludos

I give you one month before i die from you not updating. You have been Warned!

Can't wait, I enjoy it, plz update soon:D

Interesting! I like it .

Is your story really complete? :( Please update if not! :D Loved it.

Sharp is a creep. Anyway amazing job on this!w Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Hmmm, interesting story!w

Please update soon I love this so far!

Like! More Please! ;)

Update soon! D love this chappie :D

this chapter and the next are the same. but good so far.

Love the story, can't wait for the other chapters!

Once finished will there be a sequal?

Amazing not wait to see what happens when they get to Mor'kah's home the new chap's up soon.

Ok, look.

I really, REALLY like your concept.

But the execution is BEYOND poor.

First off, you REALLY need to work on your format.

This is EXTREMELY hard to read, and, personally, I'm getting a headache just looking at all the jammed together text.

Secondly, your phrasing is jerky and keeps the reader from enjoying the story. It just doesn't flow properly.

And lastly, the end paragraphs with the Predator are crammed and squished, like you just barfed it onto the page without really thinking it out.

Spread it out a bit, put in a little more detail.

And try varying your vocabulary a tad.

For some examples on what I'm talking about, try reading books like 'Artemis Fowl', 'Stargirl', or even a 'Harry Potter'.

It CAN and WILL help your writing.

Also, I would consider getting someone to beta read for you, some one you can turn to to ask for advice on wording or even just to read over your work to see how they like it and get their advice.

Just keep working at it, okay?

OoH...Update! :3