Reviews for Full of Wisdom and Perfect in Beauty

Reviews For: Full of Wisdom and Perfect in Beauty - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

chisscientist 2008-06-09 ch 26,	abuseQuite the cliffhanger you have left. I look forward to reading your next installment. I am guessing that Amandil is taken from his parents, since he grew up as a friend of Ar-Pharazon's.
chisscientist 2008-06-08 ch 17,	abuseI am enjoying your story. The vivid detail that you have put into it comes across well and brings the story of Numenor alive. I was rather startled at first by the Numenorean's worship of Melkor - I know Tolkien didn't have that happen until Ar-Pharazon's reign after Sauron's arrival. I find it rather horrifying. Inziladun is a very interesting man, and I look forward to finding out where you take this story.
vorondis 2008-05-08 ch 26, anon.	abuseAs a mother, I can tell you that your description of Zarhil's motherly feelings are spot on. For some reason, it reminded me of a passage in D.H. Lawrence, though I don't remember which book it was (maybe Sons and Lovers). It's very saddening that she gets so little back. The contrast between her and the child's father, who seems to have given up, is remarkable - though I think that maybe he makes to much of the reply "a book". Such replies aren't always a sign of mistrust. On the other hand, the two are obviously not close enough for him not to have such thoughts. But I'm not sure that blaming the disease for everything is a good idea. Then we get to ancient Rome (or maybe generic antiquity). Young Pharazôn is allowed to attend, of course - and in due time grow jaded, used to huge amounts of bloodshed. The image of the doomed staring in wonder at the beauty of their surroundings is very strong. The imagery in general is very suggestive here - the blood on the tiles right after all the scheming and the ominous mention of the line of Elendil, enhancing the sense of doom that has been hanging over this story from the beginning. And then you end with the Seeing Stone. In a way, a cliffhanger, even though the reader knows Inziladûn will survive and Amandil and his line, too. Still, I'm curious to know what he's going to See...
Sakura999 2008-03-08 ch 20,	abuseI liked the plot and I liked how you portrayed Melkyelid. Would like to read more - update soon ! Good fic. If you like you can post on w w w . justexpressing . com - the readers would like it and you could get some more reviews. I did that. You can join and post under Books - put in Silmarillion sub cat when you post.
Finch 2008-02-11 ch 25,	abuseWow! The description of little Zimraphel among the statues is very strong - it really stands out! And the way she's confronted with Alissha's story helps to explain what doesn't happen when it's her turn to be Queen, while at the same time foreshadowing it. But what's this "invisible illness"? And promptly there's another piece of foreshadowing right at the beginning of Part II. Combining it with the appearance of Amandil, shortly afterwards, also works very well. The man who would boldly set out to try and talk to the Powers despite the Ban seems already present in the child. As is the man who'll raise a son ready to take up the sword in Middle-earth. And yes, Númentil is Elvish. More than is good for his son and Númenor, I think. Then we get to the third part of the triangle - and it starts with fear, the ultimatele motive behind Pharazôn's actions. Fear of darkness, fear of death. Taking action would, of course, seem a good remedy, and not just for a boy. Once you've learned think that way, taking on death may seem like a good idea, too. Then, at the end, he sees Zimraphel/Míriel, and two more cogs of the great wheel connect. Lovely!
ecrm 2008-01-07 ch 24, anon.	abuseOur first glimpse of Pharazon, it is difficult to feel anything for him knowing what will come, maybe he was not born evil but with such parents it's not surprising that he becomes so. I wonder how Inziladun will go about trying to secure the succession for Miriel. He'll probably only be able to do so once Gimilzor is dead, otherwise he'd probably have her killed as well. Inziladun's life seems to get progressively harder and I doubt that that will change even when he becomes King owing to the hatred of his brother. I can't help but wonder about Inziladun's gift of foresight. He is obviously more foresighted than any of his family and is able to perceive the right course to take even with the shadow weighing so heavily upon Numenor. However he has not yet made any prophecies and this seems to become an important part of his character as he takes the name Palantir and his words were feared by his enemies as those of a true seer. I hope that this will make an appearance as giving Gimilzor a healthy dose of fear would be a superb revenge. I look forward to the next chapter.
vorondis 2007-12-14 ch 24, anon.	abuseYes. I knew you could make me pity for Ar-Pharazon, be it in baby-form, and even though he doesn't seem pitiable at all. If Gimilkhad were less frustrated and his father less of a control freak, his son could have grown into a relatively normal human being, but instead he'll be fed an exaggerated idea of his own worth from the very beginning. He'll swallow it with his mother's milk, in fact, given Melkyelid's ambition and sense of self-importance. (She seems a perfect anti-theotokos here.) And the worst is, Pharazon won't even know it until the mountains start falling on his head. Now, what should be and could easily have been a deeply moving scene, beautifully written as it is, therefore turns bittersweet and heavy with foreboding. And for some reason, the golden King suddenly reminded me of Glaurung the golden dragon.
Maglor's finch 2007-11-10 ch 23,	abuseAh, poor Inziladun and Zarhil. And poor Numenor. It was obvious the boy had to die, but the way it happened came as a surprise. The scenario I was envisaging was, that Gimilzor would take him away to raise him according to his own religion, and that the boy would die in an accident which had something to do with this religion. (After all, Gimilzor can't know what Inziladun will do to Ghimilkad once he's dead.) But I admit this is more in accordance with the ruthlessness he's displayed on other occasions. It's a pity Gimilzor won't get to see how he's killed the future of Numenor by killing his grandson. Inziladun's thoughts on the will of Iluvatar and his role in the lives of humans were fascinating, both as a religious analysis and as a comment on the religion aka philosophy that Tolkien devised for his Ardaverse (and that once again strikes me as a rather peculiar kind of religion for a Roman-Catholic). I admire him for realising, and admitting to himself, that he was at fault because of his vision-induced fatalism. Now, it will be precisely his lack of initiative, his inaction, that will contribute to the ultimate disaster. It's an interesting counterpoint to Galadriel's idea that visions are bad guides to action. p.s. Finch lets you know she'd forgotten Zarhil was of Elros's line, so the eugenetics remark was nonsense. But Tolkien was a little obsessed with bloodlines all the same.
Maglor's finch 2007-11-09 ch 22,	abuseBring on the next chapter!
Finch 2007-11-09 ch 22,	abuseWith regard to this chapter, remembering canon is a distinct disadvantage - I'd actually have applauded a minor Obliviate while reading the first part. Though Numendil offering his own unborn child to Inziladun was a surprise! Do we have another biblical parallel here: Abraham and past-childbearing-age-Sarah? I like the way Inziladun tries to turn the foresight that overcomes logic and reason into an expression of faith. To think that despite this he won't further the royal line and there is no future for Numenor, is really sad. (Among other things, he's got the wrong wife, from the eugenetic point of view that Tolkien, unfortunately, isn't entirely free from. That is, I don't assume for a moment Inziladun's canonical wife was one of the Faithful.) The image of the twin children is intriguing. Will Zarhil bear twins? And what will happen to the boy. The part showing the bull sacrifice became chilling when I remembered what it was that was sacrificed in the temple a generation later. A good moment to insert Inziladun's visionary bout of imagination. After that, I wondered why you made Melkyelid the announcer of Zarhil's pregnancy - another piece of symbolism pointing to future doom and gloom? Not to mention the passage from the POV of Gimilzor. And then, at the end, it turns out all interesting things do come in threes...
vorondis 2007-11-04 ch 21, anon.	abuseSo the story moves into a new stage. Gimilzor is king, and Gimilkhad gets to marry an interesting outsider with a dubious past as a temple prostitute and precisely enough difference with the Numenoreans to make a splendid "barbarian" princess. A mirror image again, it seems, this time of Inzilbeth. Nothing shy here, she adapts with a natural ease, and her conquest of Ghimilkad is more or less immediate - not that he minds (yet?). Melkyelid's got something archetypal that befits a priestess - something Inzilbeth never had. There's another contrast here, it seems: that between the individual and the collective (stressed by the interlude with the parents and the sisters etc.), between the particular and the general. I have a suspicion, though, that she may turn out to be similar to Inzilbeth in that her son will come to drink in her values and ideas. For some reason (though the situation isn't quite the same, of course) she reminds me of Bible stories about foreign women with foreign gods marrying Kings of Israel and introducing idolatry and superstitions. Reading this, I got the feeling that Tolkien might have done something similar here if he'd gone into more detail than he actually did with the Numenor backstory. The story of Romenna was interesting, too - the reduced importance and the temporary, orchestrated revival. When the population turned out to be not particularly impressed, they had my immediate sympathy.
Maglor's finch 2007-10-30 ch 19,	abuseWell, yes... Inziladun could have been a little more tactful in bed, even if royal marriages aren't designed for love. Can it be, by the way, that Zarhil is beginning to have feelings for her husband, or is her sadness in the second part of Chapter 18 due to the fact that she hasn't conceived yet? I agree with the previous reviewer that though we know the outcome of Inziladun's marriage from canon (as UT says, Inziladun had no son), a twist would definitely be appreciated. The downfall of Earendur and his house was a disaster waiting to happen, though I've got a feeling Gimilzor is being too clever for his own good by allying himself with the merchant princes to achieve his aims. Invite such types in, and they may be there to stay - and why would they be easier to deal with than the lords of Andunie? I pitied Sakalthor in the garden scene, though not too much, I'm afraid. If it was your intention to show that kings who outlive themselves and their kingship instead of willingly laying down their sceptres and their lives are a sorry spectacle, you succeeded well!
Finch 2007-10-26 ch 17,	abuseGreat dialogue in the first half, and very well executed. Though Inziladun remains an interesting and well fleshed-out character in his own right, it's Zarhil who adds the spice. She even has the audacity to be as old as she really is, which proves the strength of her personality. Gimilzors motive to arrange this marriage seems both very much in character and well-motivated from a cultural point of view (Yes, I picked up on Inziladun's doubts about his first assessment, but I'm not sure he's entirely right). It's really a pity the outcome of the marriage is known from canon, as it would be fun to speculate. Though maybe you can come up with a twist between Tolkien's lines? The inversion of Aldarion and Erendis, a female sailor with an landlubber guy, is a nice detail, too. But ultimately the spectre of Artanis - whose reason not to come to the wedding is almost too transparent - might prove a greater obstacle to happiness than anything else. Finally, I feel a premonition that it won't take long before Inziladun becomes The Prince. p.s. Vorondis asks me to tell you she really mourns the one million Erus.
vorondis 2007-10-23 ch 16, anon.	abuseAh, so now we get to ancient Cádiz... Beautiful description for what sounds like a lovely place; is it the same as that of the Real World city, or merely loosely based on it? Are the songs existing ones, or such as pop up during existing festivals? The effigies? (And is "Sor" a name of a RW place as well?) It was nice to meet Zarhil again after so many chapters. What age is she now - I had the impression she was getting on in years? Then again, she's a Numenorean. I feel a sort of pity for her at the culture shock Gadir offers her, but I have to say this variety of the religion seems quite refreshing... The dinner conversation was interesting. Did Zarhil visit the Ice Bay of Forochel and meet the Lossoth? And the sea-monster - is it the Fastitocalon, or just a kind of whale ? The interaction between the various dinner guests is fun - but why do the Umbarites sound like they're discussing Aristotle or his likes? And for some reason the restriction on the height of towers made me think, both of the Tower of Babel and of certain Italian city states (!). But the icing on the cake was the mention of the White Tree. The political intrigue sounds very realistic; I wonder how it will play out. Zarhil's dream at the end is intriguing. Who will get her? (Not Malko, I expect, though he does seem to want her.) And what will it means? Just one other queston; "February" struck me as a bit of an oddity. Doesn't Phoenician - pardon, this particular story's version of Adunaic - have its own words for the months, or did you decide to use the Latin-based name because of its familiarity to the readers? Okay, I can see how this review could be summarised as "a fool can ask more questions than a wise (wo)man can answer"...
Maglor's finch 2007-10-17 ch 15,	abuseWhat strikes me in Chapter 14 and 15 is the clever juxtaposition of the two cultures as well as the two brothers who more or less personify them. (Though Ghimilkad seems to fit the one better than Inziladun the other.) The contrast is enhanced by their relations with the women in these chapters: chastity vs. lechery. They're both out of bounds for different reasons. And then the sibling rivalry in royal houses, always a great breeding ground for drama. A pity Tolkien didn't give Ghimilkad more weight (but if he didn't breed the monster, I suppose his future wife will). He was almost too easily manipulated by Inziladun. But Inziladun "falls", too, by becoming a politician here. The snake ring intrigued me; apart from the obvious symbolism it made me think of the ring of Barahir, though that one had emeralds instead of rubies. I do wonder what's up with Ithobal, though, or am I seeking to much behind him?

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