very cute, but hope you can continue though

Cute story. If this is a one shot, you successfully accomplished your goal. If this is the beginning of a story, then nice start, but what happens after, and what problems would they have, and what obstacles would they have to face? You also have the option of making another one shot. For example: You can do a one shot about Miki when she told Kyouske she was pregnant, or a one shot when she tells him her water broke, or a one shot where Kyouske thinks Miki doesn't love him anymore, or a one shot about anything you desire to write about. I really liked it. Good job!

Cute! It's really cute! I especially love the way Kyosuke proposed Miki. It's totally cute XD And well, there is things beside kissing that a newly wed couple do on their wedding night *giggles*

I thought it was funny! Hope you write another one.

awesum sexy and exposing

its really good...i loved it.u r great.

its ok!

hey bud, now i need to ask wat this is about first. if its ur plan of what there first night as a married couple wud be like, then yes, u hav things pretty well, i suppose. if u however plan to make it a story, this wud be an ok place to start. i also like how kyosuke is unsure about seeing her naked. but to add more effect, u should somewhere show his frendz teasing him about having to sleep with miki, and this gets him thinking, so when time comes hes really nervous. coz right now it loox wierd, since mikis alrite and kanou is all messed up and unsure about her naked. they are married so i doesnt make sense. instead have him unsure about *, since thats more common a fear for ppl like him. gud luck

Cute and funny.. :D

Hm, besides a few grammatical errors, and some lack of detail, it was quite amusing. :)

hey it was good bt do start writing very long stories instead of short ones they may be great jus start writing...

good luck...

IT WAS A FANTASTIC YOU SHOULD HAVE ADDED MORE ROMANCE.

It was really good. Hungry Heart is one of my favorite anime and reading this fan fiction it makes me happy for them. Because the last episode of the serie made me real sad.

this funny and a nice way of bringing kyosuke's character well. nice fluff to.

this suxs learn how to spell beware the flamwes

u like coped that story from my friend in media miner