Referred here by Hoshika on LJ. ^^

I'll admit, I probably would not have read this fic otherwise, because CharacterOC sets off all kinds of warning bells in my head. Regardless, I quite enjoyed this! It has the lovely balance of violent faith and wry humor ("Hokage Tsunade is somewhat impressed by the young Jounin’s sudden interest in assassination missions...") that defines Hidan. And the relationship you've set up here is intriguing as well; I like the concept of student-teacher, with an undeniably darker tinge.

There were some parts in this that read somewhat awkwardly, though I think this stemmed most from that fact that you could only write one sentence per prompt. For instance, in between #4 and #5, I LOVE the transition, but I think it would have been more powerful if #4 had been clipped into separate sentences. (But again, I do realize that it couldn't EXCEED that one sentence, so. XD)

I think my favorite section was this, though: "Jashinists live out their lives in the belief that their physical state is insignificant, and that the condition of the human soul is the only thing worth protecting; this is why they are expected to brave the masochistic rituals as often as humanly possible...Yuni is amongst the first to see that her Sensei’s immortality allows him to push the rituals much further than the norm."

It's a nice, concise look into Jashinism, Hidan, and his relationship with Yuni.

Re: their relationship, I think you did a really good job. Again, the whole OC thing puts me on the defensive right off [just because most of them are impossibly annoying and ridiculous], so I was trying to distance myself from the romantic pairing aspect of the story. But when Yuni and Hidan meet, and Hidan realizes she is the jinchuuriki for which they are searching, I saw struck by this intense, immediate sadness.

And it was so very tragic, they way it ended. But as Hidan notes, death is not the worst thing. Which is an interesting prospect to glean from Hidan's faith in particular.

Good job~!

Kalliel

I have to say, I was very impressed as I was reading this. If I looked at all the 50 word prompts as a list, I wouldn't think someone able to connect them well, but you did it here. The story was both poetic and moving. I think I feel a new liking of Hidan as a character now :O

Wonderfully in character with Hidan, and best of all, your OC was actually likeable. Keep writing!

Xana: That was really well written. And really sad... ;_;
And I love how Hidan was COMPLETELY in character throughout the entire thing. Fav

Wow. I really wish I could ave a full sory out of this now. I want to know exactly how their relationship develops. Still, its lovley.

I think from what I've read, this one is the best and my most favorite one. It's rather improptu it forces you to think. Granted it kinda makes you a little narrow on your choices and you don't have complete literary freedom, it does steer you down a certain path.

Since I personally like it when characters "find" each other in an emotional way, it really hooks me in. :) It doesn't necessarily have to be overt romance. I always imagined that if Hidan was ever close to someone it would be through his faith.

Also the way you wrote this seemed to flow really well! The rather ironic ending to Hidan having to kill Yuni was very sad, but it was a nice closing. The only discrepancy to the canon (and I have to mention this >

*blink*

that was both really creepy and really good! ^^~ Awesome job! Not many can pull off those short bit story lines but you did an amazing job!

Even though Hidan isn't anywhere near my top characters list, I'm faving this for the pure quality and in-character consistency. I like this, not just as a fan of Naruto, but as one of character mastery. *thumbs up*

Hey, it's KorinaCaffeine!

The longer review is at that now-epic post, but let me just say that I love this. AND I WANT YOUR ABILITY TO WRITE HIDAN AND CREATE GOOD OC'S.

:D

;_;

I REALLY, really liked this. I mean...wow, especially considering how there's an OC and a likeable one, at that!

I love, love, love your portrayal of Hidan in this. He was...compassionate to a degree without becoming OOC, and your details and speculation on his religion were highly believable and logical (plus you get bonus points for incorporating the chastity bit because I fangirl virgins *facepalms*). I especially adore how you characterized their relationship, loving and meaningful without being sexual, and I fangirl you the most for this line--

"..serving Jashin came first before anything in this life, and that ideal was something he accepted long before he ever met her."

*spazzes incoherently* YES. YES, YES, YES. THANK YOU. Honestly, most writer's forget that in Hidan's world, Jashin comes first no matter the consequences. I'm faving this fic just for that alone. :D

Thank you for doing Hidan's character justice. ♥

wow this seems really thought out. its almost as if you understand the jashin faith(well to me it does) i would give this a 5\5
(its the same zapinit from deviantart)

This fic is awesome...it's very well written. I don't usually like people's original characters, but this one's cool in a way. Blind devotion is always a plus, too. Great job!

I loved this TAT
*w*

That was... A-amazing! I love the way that you write fanfiction. You're an amazing author. ^^

Let me just say that I found this fic to be truly beautiful. I was exceedingly impressed by your ability to capture such powerful emotions without having any of the characters act out of character and without resorting to using a sex scene. The ending was also very touching, I liked how you went with the powerful, realistic ending instead of a fairy tale one. HIDAN FTW!

Sincerely,
The Precentor