"Then you may wish to make yourself scarce," Vader said. "I sense he is coming this way." The Force would be a great ally in social gatherings, or work, where you can sense the person you don’t get along with before you see them and then go in the opposite way. Or being able to sense when something awkward is going to happen, and then run away before it happens.
Poor Ewok. I’m glad Luke got to free those people, well, the Ewok didn’t make it, but what could Luke do. Luke did the right thing.
“It was Obi-Wan, however, who had taught him that the least-destructive way was usually the best. How ironic that he should now use his former master's advice to assist in the journey towards his death.” Heavy.
I like how Vader almost forgot about Obi Wan once he pulled Chilee off Luke.
“Vader attacked the Jedi from behind, causing his opponent to forgo his assault on Obi-Wan in order to deflect it. Obi-Wan came in strongly from the other side, and suddenly a temporary alliance had been formed. Vader couldn't help but recall the many times they had fought in this fashion as Master and Padawan.” This tiny paragraph is one of my favorite actions in this entire story. It’s like “old times,” so its nostalgic, but in a way that’s depressing for both characters, considering the circumstances. It’s interesting to think that fighting together would be like getting back on a bicycle after years of not riding one.
Even if it is to exact revenge, Vader offering Obi Wan his hand was great. I love that.
AND I love the fact that Obi Wan, at the end, called Vader “Anakin.”
All in all, GREAT story. Flawless writing, multidimensional characters with everyone IN character. You are a master.
I recommended this to a few people in my life who ate FF savvy, too.
“Vader released a weary breath. This was really just a game the Emperor liked to play. He knew all too well who the boy was. He probably knew a lot more than Vader, but he liked to feign ignorance sometimes.” I bet the Emperor knew all along Vader’s son was running around close by. I wonder if the Emperor knew that Padme had given birth and never told Vader. Considering how manipulative he is, I wouldn’t put it past him.
‘It's not a guess,’ Luke explained. ‘I'm good at recognizing people. Even when they wear masks.’ ‘You must have a sixth sense,’ he replied.” Hah! Nice!
I love how, in Luke’s letter, he writes about the “senator’s plan to get more votes” instead of using “campaign,” due to the fact he couldn’t remember how to spell it. Honesty can be more brutal than anything, and its humorous here since Luke didn’t technically mean to be so blunt. I wonder how LJ took that one.
“I have forwarded a twenty thousand credit grant to Family Services for the purpose of upgrading their security.” *face palm* Wow.
“The camera changed to a slightly wider angle, again showing the orphan boy standing beside the senator. He was staring at his feet and appeared to be half covering his face with one hand.” Poor Luke…
Vader feeling concern for Luke and wanting to take him to a med center, even though he’s still planning on killing him, and even admitted he didn’t know why he felt concern, was great.
“The last thing [Vader] wanted was to be seen carrying a child around.” Yeah. Imageshot.
“He and the boy received plenty of stares from the seated patrons in the waiting area as they walked up to the main reception desk.” Man, everyone in that waiting area was in for a surprise. I wonder how many sick patrons suddenly feared that their illnesses or injuries were worse than thought and were also suffering from visual hallucinations.
“Vader eyed the form, warily. Name, date of birth, place of birth, name of first parent, name of second parent ... as if he would have any idea about any of this!” Irony!
Luke’s doctor has got some balls to refer to Vader as Luke’s “friend.” Dr. Leeson’s a cool man, either way, and another one of your great OCs.
“Vader was anything but amused. He didn't know exactly what the senator had referred to when he mentioned paying twenty thousand, and for Lerrod's sake, he hoped it wasn't what he thought it meant.” I remember a few chapters ago Darth Vader thought of Anakin as a faded memory, like a person has of a show (s)he once watched. With his above insinuation of slavery, though, Anakin isn’t that faded. If only he could accept that; of course, that’s not so easy. Ah, I feel like I’m rambling…sorry!
“Vader didn't bother to explain. The senator would likely faint if he told him the boy would have to be killed. Politicians never did like getting their hands dirty.” This part always stirred up a lot of feelings on my part; a lot of irony, but not the kind that’s twisted entertaining. More like the “ah, man…if he only knew…” sad, kind of irony.
I’m really glad that you developed the passing mention of Jarnet’s son in Orphan into such an important character in the upcoming stories in this series. Did you originally plan for that to happen; I mean, did you already have the idea for Ben laid out already in this story?
“There were always some of the Emperor's servants who took dangerous risks and fell out of the Emperor's favor. The Emperor took vast pleasure from leaving them off the guest list of gatherings such as this.” That made me chuckle.
Vader expressing feelings of alienation was a very humanizing insight on his part.
“Vader wondered if anyone would notice if he introduced the droid to the blade end of his lightsaber.” I love the narrative voice you create when writing Vader.
“It never failed to amaze Vader, the number of parents who believed the galaxy revolved around their child. If that's what parenthood did to a person, Vader was glad he would never be inflicted with that particular condition.” I love the irony!
“Then he was falling down, down ... and this time, Anakin wouldn't be waiting to pick him up.” :(
Well, keeping Luke down there with caged creatures sure says a lot about how the Senator thought about Luke.
I wonder if the first peaceful locus point Vader had felt (the scene after Obi Wan’s mind trick on the stormtrooper) was Luke.
…. I went to a workshop today on childhood trauma and attachment styles, and for some reason Luke kind of reminds me of the stuff I was listening to. He keeps being bumped around places (the places on Tatooine, IFS, and now a temporary stay at Lerrod’s home), and traumatic stuff keeps happening to him (being used in a political campaign, witnessing the murders of his aunt and uncle, and, as will happen soon, being physically abused by Chilee; and shot at). Poor kid.
“Luke wasn't sure if he did, but he nodded anyway. If the senator didn't mind lying to other people, then he wouldn't mind if Luke lied to him, either.” That’s a great line.
"We woke at dawn back on the farm," Luke explained. "You had to get as much work done as possible, before the midday heat." Thinking about how he is in later Force Bond stories, it’s amusing reading Luke talking to LJ about being used to waking up at dawn.
I enjoyed the banter LJ and Luke had about Luke sabotaging the droid. It was good for Luke to have LJ while he was stuck at family services; he needed that kind of caring, family-like interaction after what happened to his adoptive parents.
"Do you think anyone would ever adopt me?" Luke asked, curious at the thought. "Luke, I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to adopt you. Heck, I would adopt you if that was legal." That was a really sweet exchange. LJ does seem like he’d be a good parent.
Vader’s vision of Padme when he returns to Coruscant, where Luke is, was great. It’s like the Force is trying to get him ready for what will happen (“He hadn't pondered on those particular memories for longer than he could remember, and now they had invaded his mind twice in a matter of weeks”). Or giving him hints.
Well, actually, given the way Luke reacts, startles, to Vader’s return (even though Luke has no knowledge of this) it’s obvious it is the Force. (You describe it out, but I am writing this as I read paragraph to paragraph, anyway.) You write the Force well. Which is cool since it’s seems like such an implicit thing.
….The Emperor probably knew about Luke even before greeting Vader back from the retreat. I don’t know how you did it, but you make the Emperor even more creepy and conniving in your stories than in the movies.
I don’t think I ever caught before that the Stormtroopers referred to the Administrator as “sir” even though she’s female. Interesting.
Having LJ speak of the grief he experienced was a really good humanizing scene, especially since all you see of the stormtroopers in the movies is them shooting and dying, basically. I like LJ a lot.
The foreshadowing going on here, with Vader, parenthood, and the gargoyles, was genius.
“The young creature was equally curious about him. It squealed at the sight of him and shuffled out of its hiding place. Its wings were only bumps on its shoulders, but it waved them back and forth rapidly.” That’s so cute….but, man. How sad that the pup sits and cries on his dad’s chest…. Sadface. It really is a show of the good still in Darth Vader when he nurses the creature back to health.
The soulmates comment was perfect, too.
“…[T]he parent and child displayed a devotion to each other of an intensity he had never seen in a non-sentient animal.” More enjoyable foreshadowing!
The cub getting stuck on top of a bookcase, that’s classic and so very cute.
“Vader expected the pair to move on and return to the wild where they belonged. They had other ideas, however. Ideas which involved spending most of their day sleeping in various nests they had built around the retreat, their favorite places being in his personal rooms.” That bit put a smile on my face.
As I am just beginning this chapter, I’m looking forward to LJ, Val and Crix. It goes to show how great and memorable this story is, that, after already reading this story (…twice…), I am still excited about what happens.
By the way. You’ve done what many writers fail to do in fanfiction: create engaging, realistic, original characters. In fact, your OCs just seem to belong in StarWars; indeed, when I first read this story, I ended up forgetting they were OCs. You use them to advance Luke’s story, not overshadow it. Many writers struggle with that essential balance. You should congratulate yourself.
And Obi Wan, having to deal with getting appointments. Poor Obi Wan. Excessive red tape may well just be a path to the Dark Side.
“Luke hesitated. In his dreams, his father was a pilot. And they flew together, all over the galaxy. There had been a lot of those dreams, recently.” I wonder if he and Vader are connecting somehow. Or if those dreams are sort of like premonitions. I wonder if Obi Wan being a step behind in the last chapters has anything to do with the Force. I’ll have to reread someday again.
"’Which one is the Imperial Palace?" Luke asked, suddenly.
"The one with the huge statue of the Emperor outside," Crix said, pointing.
"Why, Luke?" Val asked. "Dreaming of moving in?"
Crix sniggered. "Emperor Skywalker. How about it?’"
If only they knew…
"‘Zabrak's don't need showers,’ he said. ‘Because we don't have hair.’ He ran his hand over his horns, to emphasize the point.” Yay, logic!
The first two paragraphs of this chapter were a great way to have Vader enter. I particularly thought the receptionist crushing himself behind a potted plant was humorous, but in all seriousness, a very likely response to Vader’s presence. And it was so completely Vader to break that datapad in half, crush it, and then threaten the senator that he’d do the same to the Politian’s body. I love it.
“The passions and sentiments associated with that persona were alien to him. However, on this particular morning, his younger, adolescent self didn't seem so far away.” I wonder if that’s the Force trying to tell Vader something, or if being in trouble with his master reminds him of when he was younger; the way the above sentence follows “Once again, he was in trouble with his master,” the meaning could be read either way.
All in all, you have done a wonderful job of portraying Vader: he’s completely in character and completely believable, which was a joy to read!
Well, I must admit. I have read most of these Force Bond stories before, and more than once (with the exception of Son and Jedi; since completed StarWars fiction for Luke and Vader stories seems almost nonexistent, I didn’t want to “run out” anytime quickly). As someone who used to write Fanfiction, I know how frustrating it can be to see a bunch of hits and visits on your stats page, but no review to go with them. I apologize for not reviewing before, but your stories are real “page-turners” and it’s really difficult to stop reading after each chapter; plus, when I find a series that is so completely well-written and well executed, I tend to read more than once so I can give better reviews. So, here I am, ready to review. Sorry if I spam your mailbox!
Although the very first scene lasted only a little while, your Beru came off just as she did in the movies: warm; that makes the next scene that much more violent.
“The Lars' murderer had certainly made a thorough job. An ironic thought stirred in Obi-Wan's mind ... Anakin could have it fixed before he could say 'Blast!'.” Ah, how sad.
I loved that one of the younger kid asked if it snowed in space. I’m not sure why; either way, you do a great job of “writing” children.
And didn’t Luke wear a poncho in ANH? I like how you are including bits and pieces from the movie(s), and yet you have made your own story. Some times with StarWars AUs, people seem to try to keep very close to the movies; that’s fine, but it’s always nice to have fresh, original takes on the StarWars Universe.
Poor Obi Wan. He seemed to always be half a step behind in this chapter.
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