|Reviews for Shinobi Wars|
| Nick Soapdish 3/17/13 . chapter 11
It took me a bit to figure out what was going on in the story and I'll be going back to re-read the previous chapters for the stuff that I forgot. Miako's an interesting character; I like her. And seeing sexy no jutsu successfully used in real combat?! But the topper is Shino. That's a particularly horrifying attack.
Oh, and it's discreetly, not discretely. :P
| graywolf12 3/12/13 . chapter 11
Please wright more your story is awesome
| nomad 3/6/13 . chapter 11
I'm definitely loving your story .. all the war tactics and mission assignments , everything is perfect .. In fact I'm seriously pleased that someone finally decided to given a mission to 'naruto, shikamaru,neji,shino' .. I think these guys are the best of shinobi in many ways and understand what is required of them , even naruto in his own way .
One of the two things i didn't find nice was all the confusion in middle chapters involving lot of OC's from other villages, as i said it was confusing .. although i guess it was needed ..
Finally , God i swear ino's turning into another sakura , with all emo crap , disregarding mission parameters, not understanding teh situation and all .. I thought the whole point was shinobi's must control their emotions at all times .. and hell mostly in times of engagement.. No wonder i like those four guys i mentioned earlier .. athough even they are starting to lose their control when their recent gf's are in peril..
I would really like them to be bit of professional .. lot more for ino , sakura ..
why the hell did u pair ino x shikamaru ..
I hate sakura bitch , and into turnig right into one ..
(sorry for the rant , but im really starting to hate them both , now that they are 'corrupting' those wonderful boys with their emo crap )
| BiPolarTurkey 2/28/13 . chapter 11
The notion struck me, so I'm reviewing. I don't have much to say other than I truely enjoy your story.
| Cap'n Chryssalid 2/25/13 . chapter 11
Hey! An update!
Boy, this brings back some memories, of a few earlier chapters as one would expect, but also of Naruto a few years ago. I was a little surprised by the emphasis on the Kono-crew though. I didn't remember their involvement as much as usual genin cast. Another little surprise is Miako being as competent as she initially boasted, given the poor treatment samurai types typically get.
| MarsNeptune 2/25/13 . chapter 11
I havent read the chapter yet, BUT I wanted to leave a review really quick.
1 - NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
2 - I will wait all the time you need to finish this fic.
3 - I hope that everything that is happening in the manga might help you in one way or another
4 - Today is my birthday and you posting a new chapter in this fic that I love so much is a very awesome birthday present
5 - And again...NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK
| TheQuasiZillionaire 2/25/13 . chapter 11
Wooohooo! At long last, the wait is over! :P
On a more serious note, great chapter. It's been a while since I started this story, and I might need to reread it, but most of it is coming back to me.
I think that Miako's flippant deflection of arrows seems - well, unlikely, assuming she (seemingly) doesn't have any doujutsu or other such abilities. Arrows shot from a bow travel quite fast - faster than the human eye can track in many cases - and I find it difficult to believe a normal (i.e., without bloodlines, chakra, strange powers, etc.) person could slice them out of the air at fairly close range. But hey, it's the Narutoverse we're talking about here; that stuff doesn't really apply. :P
Besides that little detail, I thought this was a great chapter. I like Naruto and Ino's relationship; they're very comfortable with each other, and fun-loving.
There are a few minor grammatical tidbits I would change if I were the author, but over all your grasp of the English language is superb, especially when compared to a large portion of ffnet's writers. If you don't have a beta, and need/want one, I'd be happy to do that for you.
So yeah... That's about it. I hope your next installment comes a bit sooner, but I completely understand if it doesn't. I actually recently started a Naruto fanfic of my own, and have already had to temporarily postpone it due to schoolwork after only 3 short chapters (I'd greatly appreciate any input/advice you have on that, by the way. I'm pretty much a brand-new writer, and I'll take any advice I can get from more seasoned authors. The story is only about 6k words right now. You can find it on my profile, obviously. :P), so I get where you're coming from. Anyways, good luck, happy writing and/or not writing, and all that jazz. It's good to have you back, and as long as you're dedicated to writing this story, I'll be dedicated to reading it. See ya!
| Guest 1/6/13 . chapter 5
love the star wars bit near the end
| TheQuasiZillionaire 11/28/12 . chapter 10
Oh no! I have to stop reading now! D:
I was a little disappointed that Naruto didn't have the balls to tell Sakura he is a jinchuuriki. But I'm sure he'll get around to it eventually - or else she'll find out some other way and get angry at him for it. r maybe she'll find out and be sorry for him and love him all the more for his strength and suffering. Who knows? Well, you probably do. :P
I like how Shikamaru and Ino's relationship has fully blossomed. No relationships ever do that in the manga (not to say that they would put sex scenes or something into the manga :P), and I kinda wish they did. To be honest, the manga relationships never really go anywhere. They'll make some sort of development, like Hinata admitting her love for Naruto to him, and then not mention it again for - well, they haven't really mentioned it again yet.
And about your end note: Under no circumstances should you ever consider stopping this story. While I would probably enjoy a One Piece story, I would much, much (much, MUCH) rather see this story through to the end. Which hopefully will not be coming any time soon. That's all for now. Keep up the good (understatement of the year) work!
| TheQuasiZillionaire 11/28/12 . chapter 9
Hmm, what do I have this time?
Well, just a little side thing, you might want to add a translation for "tokubetsu jounin." I'm not sure what that means.
It's interesting to me that in your story Naruto's friends still don't know about the kyuubi. I think by this point pretty much everyone knows in the manga. Actually, it seems to me that your story is chronologically ahead of the manga, meaning that everyone is older in your story than in the manga (I could be wrong), which I actually like.
About when Naruto decides to try and "humble himself" a bit: It seems like something the immature manga Naruto would not do, and I like it.
Also, I hope he tells Sakura about the kyuubi. Don't take this as a suggestion, it's just my own thoughts. nd don't tell me what happens either. I despise spoilers. :P
That's all I've got for chapter 9. It's sad to think I only have the next one and then I have to stop reading. I hope some inspiration comes to you and you suddenly find yourself able to write like mad! :P Best of luck!
| TheQuasiZillionaire 11/28/12 . chapter 8
Hi, it's me again.
I don't really have much to add for this chapter after my previous lengthy review, but I'll still comment on a few things.
First of all, I kinda like Ichigo. He seems like a cool guy and very unlike any of the other Seven Swordsmen. I wonder, however, why he is a Swordsman in the first place, simply because he doesn't seem to have the murderous killer mentality that the others have. In a way, he doesn't really fit the Swordsman of the Mist role, but I'm interested to see where that goes.
Second, I liked how you did the opposite of the manga when Tsunade did not send Jiraiya to the Hidden Rain Village. When Jiraiya offered to investigate, I was thinking, "Oh, no, don't tell me Jiraiya is going to die the same way," but then Tsunade chose not to have him go. It was slightly amusing to me how for a moment it seemed like it was about to go the same way as the manga, but then turned around and went the exact opposite direction.
Lastly, I'm a teensy bit disappointed that the Raikage from the manga and Killer Bee are not part of the picture. I like their characters quite a bit. Also, I like the part of the story with Nii Yugito. I've always thought the other jinchuuriki should have more background. Which reminds me, I kinda wanted to know a bit more about the Mad Cicada's brother. Which bijuu he had etc. It's a shame he was taken out of the picture before he even really got into it.
Anyways, that's about it for now. See you after chapter 9!
| TheQuasiZillionaire 11/28/12 . chapter 7
Greetings and felicitations Illjwamh (It's a bit awkward calling you that since I have no idea how it's pronounced :P)! My name is Jasper, and this is my first, but not last, review of Shinobi Wars.
Quick warning: this is gonna be quite long.
I was planning on just reviewing once I'd finished the story, but your multiple requests for reviews convinced me to review now, and I will continue to do so for each chapter from now on.
So, basically, like I said in my review of Koorikage, you and your writing are phenomenal. I love it all. I wish this was the actual story, because I find it far more engaging than the manga. Here's my review of some different parts of your stories so far. Keep in mind that I am only on the seventh chapter, so there are things I don't know yet.
First of all, characters:
Uzumaki Naruto: I really like how you've improved the original characters' personalities. For one, I think that the original Naruto is ridiculously stupid, naive, and pretty much clueless; but then he has these random moments of untold wisdom and intelligence that don't make any sense when compared to his usual antics. Your Naruto is not nearly as retarded, and not quite as clueless either, so he comes off as less of a dumb brute-force kind of guy and more of just an emotionally and instinctually driven but still quite intelligent kind of guy. I enjoy this greatly because it facilitates much deeper and more complex relationships. I find that the main characters of far too many mangas are ridiculously oblivious and even plain dumb (Naruto, One Piece, Fairy Tale), and I appreciate having Naruto have some intelligence.
Haruno Sakura: Like Naruto's overt stupidity, I find that Sakura's unquenchable love for the despicable piece of crap that is Uchiha Sasuke has gone too far one the manga. That asshole has literally done nothing but harm everyone and everything she cares about, and I can see no feasible way that any normal human being could love such a person with such intensity. I can understand that she and Naruto could want to bring him back into the light, but to actually have romantic feelings for him is, in my opinion, absurd. I don't really get what Sasuke did to obtain Sakura and Ino's feelings in the first place. He was never kind to anyone, and had never been very likeable either. Anyways, I like that Sakura has moved on considerably from that preposterous infatuation and has begun to have feelings for Naruto, who is far more deserving of her love and is actually intelligent enough in your story to maintain a complex relationship with her. I'm also kind of a NaruSaku fanboy, so this pleases me immensely.
Hyuuga Hinata: I enjoy that your Hinata is not so insanely infatuated with Naruto. She still greatly admires him, but it does not quite reach the level of romantic love. I like this because I think that the weird love line in the manga (Hinata loves Naruto, who loves Sakura, who loves Sasuke, who loves murdering everyone who loves him) is dumb and is never addressed correctly. Hinata is a nice character, but it doesn't make sense for Naruto to just ditch his love for Sakura and start loving Hinata, and I think Hinata deserves better than following behind Naruto everywhere when he does not have the same feelings towards her. I like her relationship with her teammates, and it seems like a little something might be going on between her and Kiba, which I would approve of.
Nara Shikamaru/Yamanaka Ino: I like this relationship. I never had anything against the Shikamaru-Temari thing that was kinda implied in the manga, but I like how you've done things so far with them.
The other characters are more or less the same characteristically, at least as far as I have seen, which is good. I don't think there is much wrong with most of the less-major characters in the manga.
All your OCs: Awesome! If I hadn't read the manga, I would have no way to tell that your OCs were not from the original story. They have extremely well-developed personalities and characteristics, and I love how some of the original characters have some interesting relationships with your characters (especially Neji and Yukiko) and I look forward to seeing how those develop. Your additions are blended seamlessly into the existing world of Naruto, and that is part of what makes your stories so great.
I love how you've created some really interesting and very believable shinobi villages. Yukigakure and Kigakure are probably my favorites (little side note: I realized after I sent my review of Koorikage that I said “Koorigakure” instead of “Yukigakure.” Probably not important, but I'm usually picky about getting things right :P). To be honest, the manga does not really ever embellish on individual villages except the five major ones and the Hidden Rain. Your villages make for good variety, which is a bit absent in the manga, which generally seems like there are only five types of shinobi rather than many different versions.
Not much to say. It's interesting, action-packed, and full of rounded-out characters that are AWESOME. AWESOME, I say. And there's even a good dosage of romance to boot. I'm kind of a romantic kind of guy, at least as far as my taste in reading goes (not cheesy romance, mind you; there must be plenty of action, and other interesting stuff going on too for me to enjoy it), so that just makes it that much better. Which is a considerable amount.
All in all, I give you ten stars. Out of five. :P I love it that much. If I were rich, I would pay you to write this stuff forever. Please make this story go on as long as possible. I hate it when good stories end. Thank you very, very much for all your work on this, and I hope you continue far into the future.
Damn, that was long. Hope you don't mind. I do have a few questions, but I think I'll ask those once I finish the last chapter.
Also, I really do enjoy reading your little intro/outro author's statement things. They have a lot of personality, and because of them I imagine you as a guy I would really get along with.
I think that's all I have to say as of now. So, yeah. I love your work. You're awesome. Keep it up!
Your newest fan (probably), Jasper
| Guest 6/19/11 . chapter 1
Keep writting the story!
| Nick Soapdish 11/18/10 . chapter 10
Glad to see that this fic isn't abandoned! I had to go back and read through it again to refresh my memory.
There were more Star Wars references than I remembered. And even a subtle Spaceballs one.
I approve! XD
| cloudfightback 11/11/10 . chapter 10
Keep it up.
(I know it isn't much but I don't like reviewing)