Hmm, I was hoping for more NaruIno. Ino should realize the fighting's over now. The hokage is screwed and there's no helping him.

Anyway, keep up the great work. =)

I admit... the story fascinates me. Although I am starting to get disturbed by all the... unusual abilities cropping up left and right. It's really difficult for the reader to get a clear appropriation of each character's abilities, as they seem to differ this way and that every chapter. Also, the attention spent on every character differs drastically as well. It's nice to see all the characters, but on the other hand every time the perspective jumps from one to the other it's hard to find a sense of completion and instead comes off as sort of hurried.

It's still a great story besides its faults. I cried when Anko died. :D

lots of luck,
aixyutin

Loathe though I am to stop halfway through a story, this chapter has officially broken any lingering ties or obligations I had to finish.

It disturbs me that there was a great deal of potential behind this story, despite the terrible grammar amongst other things, yet...But that's neither here nor there, and not the reason I have stopped.

I do not have anything against AU. Like you said early on, it's fanfiction, it's not meant to be the original. Many of your concepts I found quite wonderful, albeit poorly executed and pointless in many scenes that were nothing more than filler content fluff that had no bearing on the story.

However, I have to draw the line at incest. AU or not, you've done nothing to change or diverge the fact that Neji and Hanabi are half brother/sister. Hizashi and Hiashi were identical twins. Though through family hierarchy, the children would be considered cousins, they still share an immediate family blood tie to one another via their fathers being identical.

Disturbing as that concept is, it frightens me that so many embrace it. And while I have nothing in particular against the concept, I must also point out that you greatly contradict yourself and your work by doing so.

If the Hyuuga are a clan based upon the pride and strength of their precious line, why would they invite the incredibly high risk of malformation brought about through inbreeding on such close ground?

Eh, at any rate, most of the story seems half-arsed and really not thought out at all.

I write this not to insult you, but to let you know where such plot holes are so that you may write better in the future. I wish you luck with that and whatever endeavors you choose to pursue, but as far as this story goes, I'm pretty sure this chapter just killed it.

I have to say I love this story! It's very well written, and very original! I can't wait for your next chapter!
Traitor-Hero

god this chapter was so sad.
i cant believe you killed anko !!
anyways hope you update soon

Really interesting story, started reading it cause I enjoyed Ichigo and the Beanstalk, I like the strange pairings and your writing style in general, only thing I'm having a problem with is that Neji and Hanabi are genetically half-siblings, but maybe you see the Hyuuga as being that ** up, I guess a new part of their Kekkei Genkai will be webbed feet or something.

You know Kurenai deserves to die for what she has done. Why did anko help her? Time for naruto/kyu to do some death dealing!

I'm entertained! hideously lost, but entertainingly lost.

If mangekyou came as a result of the sharingan owner feeling responsible for a loved one's death, Kakashi should have had it as soon as he got the eye... which is probably worth exploring in a fic sometime.

This is... different.

I agree about one thing that had been said though.
'All the powers in the world, and still Naruto gets OWNED'

Such is the fact of life. It's true in Canon, it's proven here in your fic.

Naruto is the most loveable LAME character in Anime history.

I'm 6 chapters into this story and all I can think of is 'Where were YOU hiding all my life?' Seriously, a really good read, I don't even like some of the characters but you made sure to show different side of EACH person, despite disliking them.

Also, I really want to thank you for not making anyone completely 'evil', there's not one bashing here and the whole story still flows smoothly in spite of it.

Hm. As usual it was a fantastic chapter though I have a question. Why is it that despite leading the worst possible life (no don't say Gaara, he killed people instead of people trying to kill him ... basically he succumbed to the hatred), and having the greatest of the tailed beasts within him, he always gets owned? Not only in your fic of course, and that Sasuke-liver Kishimoto does it to a whole new level but I guess thats what you get for being the lead character. Now Kin's dead as well ... does that mean you're chaging the pairing ... or is something unexpected going to happen (Yugito does seem to have a talent at resurrection ...)?

Update soon.

WELL. the story is good but it focuses on gaara and people in konoha. Well i think you should focuse more on naruto, temari, kin, etc. because we al wanna see the main character Strong dont we?

okay took me a while to even get on the computer and had no time to read. it was a good chapter and i can't wait to read more and find out what happens to everyone. happy new year!
jam

AH! Hurry up and write the next chapter!!

Oh, BTW: Really well written, though I still have a hard time figuring out Kurenai as a member of Akatsuki.

I don't think you did a bad job at all on this chapter! I found it very refreshing! Keep up the good work!