Another excellent story by RedDraco! It's much more serious than her previous works, but that just means that it's different in a good way. The author-created characters are plentiful, but they're well-rounded and well-developed. (Besides, how many characters are there really in Mega Man X?) Celeste in particular is a lot more interesting than she was in "Bass Is Not a Fish," perhaps now that she's moving further away from being a love interest and rescue bait. Iris is kind of a buttmonkey here, but it's well-explained and doesn't feel malicious.
My biggest complaint with this story is the same one I had with BINAF: the text is riddled with spelling mistakes and other typos. It's nothing really awful, but it does pull you out of the experience, and the vast majority of them could be easily cleaned up with one pass through spellcheck. On a lesser note, the name Nytetrayn is so 90s comic book it hurts.
Overall, I highly recommend this tale in progress to any fans of Mega Man X! It shows that the author is highly capable of creating good, original stories, and I'm looking forward to reading more of her work in the future :)
OMG. like my fellow reviewer, i feel the need to tell you that i've been reading your stories since i was a kid. now i'm almost 23. sorry if that makes you feel old. but seriously, seeing an update in my inbox brightened my day. i hope you're doing well in whatever else you're up to these days.
Once upon a time I emailed you with gushing and poorly written praise for ZT and/or BNF... I was roughly thirteen years old at the time, and an appropriately annoying AOL user with a silly Japanese screen name.
For reference I am now twenty six years old, and happy as hell to see some life return to TTYL. Major props for the update, I'll be looking forward to chapter 35, even if I have to wait another year for it.
Wowzers! I never thought I'd get another review! Thanks for writing all that up! Don't worry about offending me. A lot has happened since I started this 'fic, one of the big things being that I write on a professional basis now, and get my head smacked by editors every day. :)
That said, I agree with almost everything you've critiqued here. All I can offer up is, "I was young." I still am. I'm always looking to improve myself. You're right in stating that a lot of my OC's act the same, something I've been aiming to break out of.
But I have to disagree with a bit of what you've said. For instance, the way I write X and Zero. I know I've said it a billion times before, but I started writing Mega Man X fanfic when X3 was still new. Capcom has developed the characters substantially since then, but I chose to stick to my own (now OOC) personalities for them. I didn't mean to ruin X and Zero for you, and I apologise for that. But I definitely don't think X is a wimp in TTYW. BNF, sure, but not TTYW.
Zero IS a prick here, I won't argue that. But he's fun to write this way, and I write fanfic to just kind of unwind and romp. If you want to look away, I don't blame you at all.
I will, however, have to disagree with you strongly on Iris. I definitely didn't intend for Iris to be mock-worthy: I'm trying to portray her as lost and sad without Colonel. I see very few instances in the story where she's the butt of a joke, or made into an ass. If anything, she's the most serious character in the story.
Zero is conflicted about her because I thought it'd make for interesting friction between Iris and Celeste. I definitely don't hate Iris. I don't like her, but most of the stuff on my page is just there to poke fun at her. Hey, I was a teenager. I'll fix it all some day if/when I start up my page again.
Anyway, I'm still writing this fanfic, if you can believe that. I have chapter 34 ready: It'll go up any day now. I hope you'll still read! If not, I understand, and thanks again for the review!
TheyCallMeShpidah 8/20/11 . chapter 33
Not trying to insult or offend you, but I'd like to critique.
I like your story, and it has some original ideas. But nobody seems to have critiqued you properly other than telling you that you rock and your story is amazing.
I cant help but notice you bash on Iris ALOT. I remember your website, and I've seen your oppinions on her. I know you don't like her, but really. Just because you don't like the character doesn't mean you got to make her the ass of every joke. You know, I've seen in EVERY single part Iris is in of your story you bash her. Whether it is dialogue from another character, or just your plain narration, she is brought down in some way. Bashing on a canon character is pretty distasteful for a writer. You said you created Celeste before X4 came out; cool. Just because Capcom made a love interest for Zero shouldn't mean you have to go at them like that. God, you could've never put her in here. You could've just made yourself another Oc. I hate bashing on a character, especially when it's completely unecessary.
On another note, I'd like to inform you that you kind of ooc'd X and Zero. X is like such a wimp, and he's the MAIN PROTAGONIST. He isn't as low as you place him to be. And Zero, who you've nearly ruined for me now, is a total douche. You made him an overall prick and too sarcastic. He was created by Wily, yes, but that doesn't mean suddenly he's some bloodthirsty demon Maverick who goes insane with fighting and at the sight of blood. Zero has no virus, and he's a protagonist after all. You've also made him disrespectful toward humans. For one of humanity's protecters, that's a little hypocritical. He is NEVER disrespectful to any human, and he'd never try to hurt them, seriously. He is also not as tough as you try to put him to be, as if everybody is terrified of him, and he doesn't like fighting as quoted in X8.
Saying it is not in canon does not matter when you make so much stuff in your story ooc and untrue. It might as well be AU.
I actually really like your oc's, you know. I especially am interested in Celeste, Torrent, Genesis and Tess. They seem the most unique. But, I do want to ask why all of your characters pretty much are at the same level of intelligence, all hate Iris, and all of their dialogue is similar. As if everyone is clones of one personality you liked. It gets me.
Look, don't take this the wrong way, 'cause this is the very first true critique you got.
Despite him being a complete and total jerk, I feel pity for Monroe.
Mystins 9/20/08 . chapter 1
I remember discovering this story (and the others) through your website a long, long, time ago. Seeing this story updated is kind of like a window into fanfiction past for me :-P
That said, Im thrilled to see that is still being worked on! By and by, its a great story.
Your story is simply legendary, I can count, on just my fingers, on only one hand, the number of fanfics that have OCs on par and just as good and memorable as the actual characters themselves, and the interactions between everyone is simply amazing, your portrayal of X has to be my favorite ever too. This is an awesome story, I really can't say much more then that. I really pray that you can one day finish this story, happy writing. (:
OKAY. What I say means nothing, but I'm gonna say it. I say DROP the reploids and megaman from the story and forge your own world, then PUBLISH IT. Robotic dragon people? Hidden nazi human ant colonies? Secret bloodlines and simmering outcasts who have to wear bracelet birth control? SNAPPY DIALOGUE? Come ON. It's GOLD.
"If you plant the demon seed.." Omigosh. Wow. That's great, right there.
Y'know, there's so many OCs and non canon that it's ridiculous, this mythos, but I think I might enjoy this. Your writing style is descriptive and thought out- I like it. :) Thanks, and happy writing!
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