Very Nice! Hehe A few English hick-ups but they didn't bother me too much! ^.^

there's three of them, how is that even possi- Nope, not gonna think about it, not gonna think about it, not gonna think- too late.

it's absolutely horrible. (the story, I mean)
I love it.

Hm... Very wonderful & beautiful... like the author. Contact me if you'd like some extra technique from a fellow author.

Very... interesting. Who would bother biting, though? Is Artemis a vampire or something? Make more, and send them to me please and thank you very much.

I noticed no mistakes... on the other hand, I'm a non-native speaker too, and completely insane as well, so don't get your hopes up ;-)
But the images... *drools* And I let out a real fangirl-squee at the "I remember you screaming at me to strike you harder..." line... *wide grin* KYAH! ^_^
And then you dropped the bomb with the second drow. ^_^ Wai! I'd like the preceding story, I'd like to, really... in all detail *winks*
Glomps and ice-creams with Arty on top (where else?)
Nari

...Talk about completely butchering Artemis Entreri's rep. I'm sorry, but it actually made my eyes burn to read that.

OMG I LOVE YOU! I love you, I love you, I love you! So happy...=^_^=...

Not bad. There were some errors, certainly, but I could understand what was going on. For a first shot you did a good job. I would suggest writing something longer in the future, and go for the humor again. I thought this was very cute.