Neil running away from home is an interesting idea; I actually thought about writing a fic like that too someday, but haven't found the time yet.

I like your idea very much, but your story is very difficult to read. I get the feeling that you just wrote it down as you thought about it without thinking about word order, commata, things like that. Have you thought about getting a beta? It might help making this story easier to read. I would love to find out where you are going with this, but as it is it's just too hard to try to follow what you are trying to say.