Bio:His mother was attacked and nearly killed by the Deathstrikes and his father the same by the hands of the Swiftkills because they both 'married' and were on the oppossing gangs. So to exact vengence on both sides for his injured parents he joined the PSOL.

Age:11

gender:Male

level:79 (game-based Sapphire version)

Sorry, fighting style is fire attacks

Did you give it up? if not,

Name:Blaze

Species:Blaziken

Personality:Hardy, Modest, yet, relaxed, and easy to ** off.

Cons:He has no mercy and will kill on sight anyone who purposely attacks/crosses him, fellow members, or innocents.

Pros:One of the elite members of P.S.O.L.

Alliance:P.S.O.L.

Attacks:Blaze Kick, Fire Punch, Flamethrower, & Fire Blast.

Dislikes:Gangsters, morons, and threats to society.


Likes:Kicking their butts to Hell, pineapples, Italian Ice, and Pizza.

(srry about the late review, been busy)

This is a very nice chapter, Shadow! Nice to see Yaju in this chapter, thank you ^^! Update when you can!

Yajuu: I'm bored!

Me: (smacks her on the head) Deal with it.

Yajuu: (prepares a Hyper Beam)

Me: HOLY CRAP! (runs away) Still, gooc chapter! And thanks again! (still running)

Very nice fic! Here is my submission.

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Name: Yajuu (Japanese for 'Mosnter')

Age: 11

Race: Scizor

Gemder: Female

Aliance: Deathstrike

Looks: Like a normal Scizor, except she appears to be missing his left eye and wears a eye-patch over it, there is also a scar by there.

Bio: A young Deathstrike. It is unkown why she joined them, expecially at her age. It is rumored that her parents were P.S.O.L., and he joined them so he owuldn't have to follow his parent's footsteps. Very ruthless and cruel, she is a perfect killing machine. Nothing else is unkown about her.

Attacks:

Aerial Ace

Sandstorm

False Swipe

Hyper Beam (her strongest move)

Physical combat (hand to hand)
-

Well,t ahts all! Tell me is somethign is wrong.

P.S. Like I said before, this is a good fic in my opinion, thats for sure. But, you might REALLY want to consider raising htis fic's rating to M. Cause, really, this is kind of graphic stuff here.

Nice job! The starting bit about peace was brilliant, and I also loved how you wrote Firestorm's fighting style.

Down and dirty, no time for cleanliness. Though Firestorm usually just puts enough iron from his body to get a good, sharp coating, but him using to burn his opponents worked well.

Only things are:

1) Perhaps you tried to introduce unnecessary stuff about the characters too soon. The bit about Artemis was unimportant at this moment, because it was a fight scene, though yes, Firestorm would have flipped out at being called a **-son.

2) Unless you were planning on making Firestorm a leading character, you may have been better to introduce him at a later moment. Unless that Girafarig was going to be a main character.

3) Think about the Pokemon you're using and how they would fight. The Grovyle might be using bullet seed and leaf blade a lot, and the Girafarig could have been doing something to help her comrade.

4) A bit of background info on the two sides wouldn't have gone amiss. All we got was the two names, and that Kre and Silvia were in one of them. You could have said what they were actually doing (recruiting), because from an outside perspective it looked like a punch-up.

But other than that, good job! And don't be afraid to use paragraphs more!

Sayonara!
Capybara 773

im just saying that it looks like an interesting story and i hope you go through with it!!

There's a lot of OC fics out now, aren't there? Anyway, so you got a war between two Pokeemon factions. What are they fighting for? What sort of Pokemon (personality) are they? And what are their capabilities in terms of power and technology (if any)?

I've got an OC in mind who might be good for this fic, though, but I won't send him in here in this review, cos' that may give away some of the surprise.

Just PM me if you're interested.

Sayonara!
Capybara 773