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| Nerd-08 2008-06-28 ch 1, anon. | abuseThis was a really good story because it got all the facts down and you really seem to have not only thought about how Johnny would feel but you seemed to have felt how Johnny would feel. Does that make sense? Like you put yourself in his situation. And It was short and to the point. which is wonderful. And I have to say this was my favorite line in the whole story: "...but the parent in them was dead before I was even born." That really drove the point home. So congrats on a great piece and it would be really cool if you wrote one like this about Dallas or Steve. But I'll shut up now...keep writing :) |
| GoldenMerlin 2007-07-09 ch 1,  | abuse1:22 (again, no idea...) Well-written. :D |
| dysfunctionally-sane 2007-06-29 ch 1, | abuseawee. it's sad. but it's really good. great work. =] |
| A terrible Beauty 2007-04-27 ch 1, | abuseOh! i liked it! short sweet and to the point awsome and you did good at writing johnny's POV! good job! -lauren |
| These Trick Questions 2007-04-20 ch 1, | abuseAw, this almost made me cry. Excellent! Poor Johnny. :( |
| Minami Ozaki Wannabe 2007-04-20 ch 1, | abuseI like it, you showed Johnny´s feelings pretty well. Hope to read more soon. Keep it up, it´s good. |
| crazy4tv 2007-04-19 ch 1, | abuseGreat Job. I really liked it.. |
| Live2Read 2007-04-19 ch 1, | abuseThis was really good, and I liked it to an extent that I am going to offer some advice. Now, I used to be an advice maniac, but now, I only give out advice when I think that the writer really tried, and that they really do want advice. Me telling you the following is a huge compliment to you. Alright, first of all, you have to think about Johnny. He's just a kid who never had a chance, and most importantly, he's very sensitive. He really wants his parents to love him, but quite simply, they don't. This kid is a tragedy within himself; he's a good kid, isn't he? Of course. He has a good heart. And one of the only things that he wants is his parents love. He doesn't understand why they don't love him. So, to wrap that all up, I think that this needed more emotion. I couldn't get from this, that Johnny WANTED his parent's love. Second, and very honestly, I loved the way that you didn't have him call them mother or father. Because they weren't, no matter how much he wished that they were. You did call them "parents" when he spoke about school, but the school bit is where I offer advice. The whole story behind Johnny, is that no one but the gang cares about him. It would help if you explained WHY they had to pretend to be normal parents, because that, I didn't quite understand... :S And I'm sorry to be naggy, but personally, I love these kind of reviews, but if you don't, I'm sorry. Basically, I only give these reviews to the stories I think deserve to be reviewed like this... most often oneshots. Great story, though! -L2R |
| PurpleBlaze 2007-04-19 ch 1, | abuseWow, very good writing style. You really conveyed the heartache that children from troubled homes have. I also liked that you have many powerful sentences that emphasize what Johnny went through. Such as "Her words stung as much as his belt", among others. |