i like this story-very sweet

I thought this story was pretty...intense. But interesting nonetheless especially because it is totally going to happen sometime anyway.

I think you write retty well but I think some more reviewing would help. There were some typos and grammar stuff but it didn't really take away from the overall story.

romantic and hot, enjoyed it a lot!

I love it! Very romantic! :)

wow, hot and cute *_* love it ^^

You are one of the few literate fanfiction writers I have seen. I truly enjoyed reading this for exactly that reason. I always hate it when you're reading and the grammar is so bad you can't even understand it. ^_^ Thanks for writing this.

I only have two bits of criticism for this. The first would be your use of repetition. I feel like the word "ochinchin" is used too much. Maybe vary your terms a bit more next time? The second would be the lack of semicolon or comma. Some of your sentences really require a period to break up the words, or in appropriate places such as before the word "but" or "however".

Please continue to write! I loved this! X3

I love Loveless..and this is sweet. *smiles in a heartfelt, fangirlish way*

cute :] i luv the conversations u have b4 and after ur story.

good good good very good.

Great fanfic, it was very well described and obviosly thought out.

it was cute for a 1-shot fic; Loveless is 1 of my fav. mangas; the other ones are Descendants of Darkness, Saiyuki Reload, Naruto, Dragon Hunter, Yu-Gi-Oh!GX, and YuYu Hakusho. By the way, Ritsuka's eyes are a light violet color! you should watch the anime more! Also, I'm writing a fanfic called 'Blood and Tears'- it's a Naruto/Loveless crossover fic, but it's rated M, so check it out when i post it online; Also, my sister, Reina Mitake, is writing a fic called 'Crimson Soul', and it's a Naruto/Bleach/Fruits Basket crossover fic, so read that 1 too, ok? thx!

I love it! and the lemon was hot...
keep up!

I can say that I would have liked your story if it wasn´t for that extremly silly word "ochinchin" I mean hey! what on earth were you thinking?? It compleatly destroyed that otherwise beautiful fic.
I usually don´t EVER do flames but this just ** me off!
Please, please refrain from putting childrens words in a lemon again! Otherwise don´t write M rated material again if you just can´t use the real words.

OMFG! another good story...keep it up!

=^.^= How sweet you used Ochinchin (the child's way of saying *cough* erm...joystick *cough* in japan) you don't see too many people use that word.