The way you ended the story with the man watching is pretty useless in my opinion. I think you should have just left that whole detail out unless you planned to incorporate it with the story, which I thought you would when you first mentioned the guy watching.

Nonetheless, this is one of the best M fics I've ever read, lol. Especially the angsty parts, yum. Congrats.

"And then the tears were gone and she glanced up, hoping he hadn’t seen them. Before she could find him looking at her, he closed his eyes so she wouldn’t know he’d seen her crying. Everyone had their own secrets, their own weaknesses and if she wanted to cry, he wouldn’t let on he knew."

Powerful passage; that's the angst, right there.

I have to congruatulate you on the fact that this "citrus" actually had the female reciprocating. Because, so far, the lemons and etc. I have encountered only focused on the woman's pleasure.

And I have to say it got me everytime, when you kept going back to Riza's thought that her deep feelings are unreciprocated.

!!

AMAZING! I LOVED IT! I got a jolt when I read the last line. That shows how good of an author you are. *faints from such awesomeness*...maybe also the RoyxRiza scenes too...*nudge nudge*

Okay, once again a very well written peice

to your questions:
1. the sexual aspect was fine, not too graphic at all
2. the angst was clear, the feelings of uncertainty and shame from Riza and Roy was very well done
3. you definately caught them and manipulated them to your use very well, especially how you subtly weakened Riza's character but didn't lose any of her hardness through the whole, and might i add i especially like the addition of Hughes, he's great, and making Roy seem a little insane adds amusement
4. switching sometimes affects it, using he then suddenly switching to i can be distracting. if i want to add a little character perspective i usually delve into their minds and add thoughts in italics, but that's just me, you can write how you want, and you do it well.

This fic seems to have an open ending, if there isn't a sequel in the works i think there should be, very well done, i'm glad i added you to my favourites ;-)

This is really good! I read it start to finish and I absolutely love it. Being that this is the first Roy/Riza multi chapter fic I've ever read, I couldn't have chosen a better first. Thanks alot!

Oh, this story is so entertaining! I want more!
This is brillant! Was so beautifully written!
You did all well, the characterization, perspectives, angst, lemons, smut(very well done!).
you're an amazing writer!
PLEASE write more! I'm beggin you!
FOR THE SAKE OF ROYAI FANS, PLEASE!

Great job!
I loved this chap too!

OH! finally they figured it out.
This was so cute!
I loved!

That was so beautifully written!
Another great chapter.

Aw... great lemon! The best one I have read!
This was really good! Very well written!

Silly Roy... but he is so cute!
I cant stop read this.
Good chap!

Aw... angst! I dont like angst very much, but this fic is Ok... Im loving this plot!
I just hope one happy end...

Ow... poor Riza...
I loved Havoc in this chap... He was so cute.
Great job!

So funny Roy talking with Hughes...
Another great chapter.