Loved the latest chapter, can't wait till the next chapter.

Sorry, I thought I'd caught up on your story. Anyway, this certainly does look bad!

You know, there was one specific bit of this chapter that really caught my eye, and that was the part where Longtail started stuttering around Terri.

I think alot of writers have their main characters play it too cool when they meet a girl they like, which is really unrealistic. I speak for myself, but when I truly like a girl, I have a hard time looking good around her. I get stuttery, or quiet, or any of that other stuff that seems really only to make the process of winning her heart all the more difficult. Especially with the stuttering, I can really relate, because I've been in situations before when I was asking a girl out and I could barely make myself understood.

So good job with making your character believable here. As always the story is looking good, and you can be sure I'll be reading more into it today.

I have no real excuse for why it's taken me this long to review, but anyway, another great chapter! Keep it up

Hmm... two very emotional chapters indeed, yet well written.

A good job on both accounts, and I will continue to read on!

Hmm... an interesting chapter indeed. In truth I'm a tad confused about the nature of this new flyer, but I'm sure that'll be cleared up in time as I read.

Keep up the good work!

Wow...I'm sorry for not getting back to this story sooner, but school came out of nowhere and actually made me study for once...

Man...I hate chemistry...

Anyway, enough personal moaning there, on to the story.

I really like how you brought your two main characters together. It wasn't at all cliche, which is really easy to do when you're brining mains together (at least as I'm familiar with it), and how they parted as well was good. It was all very against the norm of what I've read, and I think that's simply a wonderful thing about this chapter.

Also, I'd recommend that you perhaps explore the interaction between various side characters (for instance, the parents) a bit more. Now, this isn't necessarily a flaw, and attempting to include irrelevant characters can do two very bad things: it can bore readers and make the overall message of the story confusing.

Still, using side characters that don't get much attention can be a very powerful tool when used correctly. It's really all within your judgement.

Anyway, I can't make too many statements yet about the overall story because I haven't yet read enough! I promise now that I got over that chemistry test, I'll have enough time on my hands to get through this story at a quicker pace!

Until then, keep up the awesome job!

I read your first chapter, and I must say it was quite interesting. You have the makings of a good novelist, perhaps even a great one. However, there are some things I think you should take a look at it.

You're pretty good with flow, your story is easy to read and I don't often find myself confused, but you don't have many descriptions of the environment. Perhaps this is because you assume your readers already know the setting, and if that's what you were thinking, your lack of description is understandable. However, to do your skill justice, you did implement the description of the new Flyer character quite smoothly, so good job on that.

The thing about your skill is that everything you do as far as writing goes is excellent. You definetly have a great deal of talent, and your writing overall is understandable and quite good. The major thing I think you should practice is your higher-level plot machinations.

For example, you use a lot of prophetic dreaming in this chapter. This in itself is a good plot-drive, but I think you could really add some intrigue to the story by making the dreams more subtle. For example, you could have Ali have this prophetic dream about the flyer, and then she could fail to remember it when she wakes up. However, when she sees the Flyer again, she has this feeling that she knows him, maybe even a sort of fear about why she might know him.

All of that, of course, would make it take much longer for you to really get your characters together and interacting, but sometimes the wait is worth it. I've dedicated whole chapters before to just preparing readers for the next chapter.

Anyway, this is all just my opinion. You can take it or leave it, but know that my final verdict is that you are very impressive. I must admit this fanfic is one of the best I've seen in its genre, and I will continue to read and comment.

Keep up the excellent work!

Woah, apparently even half, or fully asleep, Longtail can still fight.

Cool, the introduction of Korr

Hmm, red horned three-horns (Only one big horn; are they Styracosaurus or others of the type?). That's something you don't see everyday. Now let's see if Lontail can drive them away.

Wow, that is a hard postion to put Longtail in.

Sorry for the delay in reading and in writting on my story, I've had mostl post time, but I am also working on my story.

Things just keep getting more and more interesting. Keep on writing.

Woah...yeah that's not a good group to have going after Longtail

Well, Longtail appeares to have some interesting explaining ahead of him :)