 Pensheep 2007-05-15 . chapter 1B+. I really liked the "allergies" response Spike kept giving, and your writing is as detailed as always. This one-shot did seemed super-rushed- for example, it seemed that Braun would react too suddenly, and too extremely.
Also, one second Braun was bleeding to death in Spike's arms, one second Spike cracking jokes with Jet, and the next second he's taking driving classes.
Nothing that some quick editing wouldn't fix. Very nice :) |