Its rare to see such an experiment with style in the community but it really fits the subject. I'm extremely intrigued!

Hmm...I understand Senira's opinion, but I think that the vocabulary is fine, and a little hyperbole in regards to your vocabulary is great. Not all words need to be used with their literal meaning in mind. I mean, all classic writers use extensive vocabulary, which does add class, in their novels, and you did say you were emulating their style, somewhat. Anyway, I understand what Senira means (my boyfriend and I were reading this story together out loud and by the fifth chapter, both of our jaws really hurt :) ) but I don't think the story would have the same effect if the vocabulary was toned down, but maybe that's because all of my favorite novels and stories are written by classic authors such as Charles Dickens and Nathaniel Hawthorne (which i did see some similarities in your fanfic to thier novels :), so that style is what I enjoy reading. Anyway, The story is great, and I applaud your genius ;)

My only complaint about this story is that the vocabulary, while correct, is too much too often. A fancy word here or there definitely adds a touch of class to writing, but after a few paragraphs it goes from interesting to tedious; there are a lot of things I like about this story, but I'm starting to lose sight of them as my brain grows increasingly focused on the vocabulary.

In addition, some of the words you use carry too much emphasis for the situation they're featured in. An example from this chapter is in the fourth paragraph, when John thinks that "surely there had been no ruination of their relationship." Though ruination does mean ruin, in common usage it's ruin on a massive scale: it's a town that's been shattered by the force of a tornado; it's a nobleman who's lost all his money to a poor investment, and is now forced to beg on corners with his son while his wife lays with drunks and ruffians for the few coins they'll give her. A better choice for the sentence with John would have been something along the lines of, "Surely things weren't so bad between them," or at least something with a rhythm and word choice befitting a poor, uneducated eleven-year-old.

*inhales*

All that aside, I love the characterization you've done in this piece; I can really sense John's fear, joy, and the turning of his mind as he grows and sees the world in new ways. Your characters all have a wonderful sense of life about them, and I want to keep reading because I'm attached to THEM, not to the story-- and while opinions on that vary from story to story and writer to writer, I find that appealing characters is the best way to keep an audience interested in a work. I do want to keep reading this to the end, and I hope that the word usage won't put me off of it entirely--I'll have to turn my brain off for a bit and hope for the best. *crosses fingers*

OMG!! It's back!! I saw this and I almost died, I was so happy!! Don't worry, I'm okay!! Anyway, thank you so much for putting it back, I love it, and I can't wait until you put more. Thanks so much!!