this is pretty good, but i just have a few notes. first off, i think u could work on dimentio's dialogue... i mean, u sorta have his personality, but not his speech pattern. second, there are a few grammar things, especially with commas. and lastly, the final line seems almost comical. like... when someone says 'curse you,' it's usually in a more humerous situation. u might wanna change that, it was kinda a mood killer. but yeah, other than that, i really liked it!

You rock, that's all there is to it. You should really continue this for I would be looking forward to it and it would be an amazing story!

“Aw, that’s a shame... We could have a real party here if he was around.”
“Yeah, I’d hold you down and he’d punch you in the face. Now that would be a party.”

For the record, that rocks.

I really do like this - it answers quite a few questions. Seriously, someone who has touched the Chaos Heart really wouldn't be unchanged, right? Such a shame it's destroying Luigi...

As for Dimentio - I have to wonder if he's just a figment of Luigi's imagination or not. Maybe a side effect of the Chaos Heart or that shadow of his power that controls it. Hm...

Anyways, excellent work. I love ya, man, for writing this, and I can't believe I've missed it for so long.

I LOVE this fanfic! It's a short but thrilling tale. 'Daisy is scared to come near me anymore..' 'I've seen a hedgehog that can destroy robots..' This is an instant classic.

I just love how detailed this story was, it was so sad to see Luigi practically falling apart... :(
And you made Dimentio seem so creepy too! Awesome one-shot!
I agree with Ms. Devin, it sucks to have to buy a Wii just to play Super Paper Mario, but your 'fic is pretty cool!

Absolutely beautiful

wow! i didn't know mario games COULD get angsty! the fic was beautifully written and i must agree, an entire story would be well worth reading!!

y'know, that actually ties up a loose end taht the game left. I could see that being so very true... kinda creepy.

Nice, Dimentio really sounded like Dimentio and Luigi, well...0_0 I hope it ends well...

I haven't played Super Paper Mario (not too happy about the prospect of having to buy a whole new gaming system here) but I LOVED this fic.
For some reason, Dimentio's my fave bad guy in SPM...Mostly cause he looks like an adorable little jester. But, again, I haven't played the game; that and your fanfic made him seem much more unnervingly sinister than he looks. *shudder*
The dimension-travelling part was pure GENIUS. Hilarious, awesome references there, man! So Dimentio's been causing trouble for Sonic, Link, and Sora, has he? No big surprise...

Oh, you could do so much with this. Is this going to be a oneshot only? It could probably end up being a lot more. Not that you have to continue it, I'm just saying that you left a pretty open ending. It doesn't seem like it's over, but of course...it's up to you.

But I loved it. It was very detailed and enjoyable to read. I'm glad I found this one; it's difficult to find Super Paper Mario fics. ): Or maybe I'm looking in the wrong place...

Keep up the good work!

Great story! There are definitely no enough well-written Mario fics on FFN, so keep up the great work!

I do agree with a previous poster, though. I'd really love to read more! This is an intriguing story idea, and I'd love to see how it plays out!

Great story, poor Luigi.
If only I had a Wii, then I could play Super Paper Mario too, finding ending details are IMPOSSIBLE.
Anyway, keep up the good work! Later!

Very good. Personally, I think this would be a better 1st chapter to something new, the ending seemed to lack... endingness. But the choice is yours to do what you will with it.