 PropehcyGirlSBN 2008-08-01 . chapter 4Aw.. these are so cute! Sweet, fluffy... whats not to like. I like the way you're writing them... I don't know, it just works for the story. It's not to rushed, ooc, or dragged out or anything. I really like this!! |
 Gabunny 2007-05-21 . chapter 4Mmkay, I read this before I went to school but decided not to review until after b/c this way, I have time to give you a constructive crit, which it sounds like you want :D
Alrighty, so on ficlet 10, Ears, I think you did alright ^_^ I think you got the essence of how while Edo is a hella noisy kid, there's volumes of what he won't say, so well done. You started it and ended it well, but it did get rather vague and cliché around the middle, and I think you could have included more about Al. Alphonse is such a vital part of EdWin fics and while it is easy to ignore him its something you've really got to work hard at to avoid, because its not a good look - kind of like a sour aftertaste, if you will. Great job on your adjectives, though, they were quite whimsical =D
Ficlet juu-ichi was a good angle to take, as well. I liked mostly everything except for the part about other typical teenage girls laughing at her - again, just a tad too expected and overdone. Also, I don't think we can ignore that in FMA there are no girly female characters, and while its definitely possible that Winry had some in Rizenbool or whichever, I think you took it to an extreme which isn't plausible. Everything else was great though, and your ending made me laugh XD
Anywho! Great job, keep writing, and I hope that you enjoyed getting such a very long crit XD
-Gabunny |