You write quiet well. I love it. I'm kind of hung up on the line, "Time never moved." It's hot. I love me some Jack/Elizabeth. Groovy groovy.

Woaw; this was really remarkable. You completely astound me the way you write. It's erapturing, alluring, and just plain addicting. I adored this.

Liz

It was nice and strong at the beginning with lots of detail, but it dwindled at the end. I don't know if it needed to be longer, or if you needed to cut out some the the description that is more minor in the beginning, but I would try something to that extent.

Mind you, this is not a flame, merely constructive critisism.

~Burn

There is something enchanting about the way it is written. Very good & memorable:)