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Reviews For: By Calm Water - Reviews: Page 1 of 7

anonymous
2008-01-16
ch 3, anon.
abuseAny chance of an update?
Hehe
2007-12-14
ch 3, anon.
abuseI love this, it's made of pure awesome. I hope you complete the next chapter soon, this is the best R12/LH crossover I've seen yet.
Six-string Samurai
2007-11-23
ch 3,
abuseHah, good stuff thus far. Can't wait for the next installment.
ranma girl 14
2007-07-22
ch 3,
abuseGreat, hope you update really soon ^_^
Ruzio03
2007-07-04
ch 3,
abuseGreat story!! Keep it up!
TenWings
2007-06-11
ch 3,
abuseWHO IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT A TENDO IN THEIR FIC
Neko Kaemon
2007-05-26
ch 3,
abuseAh, good story here. Hehe. Fun story.

Got a question for ya, you don't have to answer it, but it would be helpful if you could. Is this gonna be a story that focuses on Ranma as a female for a majority of the story? (A answer in a review reply would be greatly appreciated.)
Hiryo
2007-05-24
ch 3,
abuseYeah! :D Another great chapter with even more funny scenes!
Asgeras
2007-05-24
ch 3,
abuseGood story. I definitely look forward to seeing more. ^^

Well, I guess this is supposed to be used for constructive criticism, so here goes. First off, the almost standard criticism of typos/ mistakes in grammar. However, as I said, you shouldn't feel too bad about that, since your fic is better than a lot of the others out there. However, with an extra proofread, or two, the fic could flow a lot more smoothly.

Also, you seem to break the fourth wall (addressing the reader) a lot. Breaking the fourth wall is alright, but if used unnecessarily it does little more than make the read recollect that he/she is reading a fictional setting (thus breaking the illusion).

Last piece of advice would be to not sell your readers short. Let's take a line in chapter 3 as an example of selling the reader somewhat short, as well as breaking the fourth wall. "For him, Su was like a better version of Shampoo" Most of your story is done in third party omniscient (one of my favorites ^^), and it would have probably been better (a little bit of personal opinion here) to simply show Ranma's thought process, rather than coming right out and stating "Ranma thought (blank) about (blank)". This would be somewhat like stating "To Motoko, she was confused about her feelings of possible love", rather than show said feelings through actions, or through her regular thought process.

Take what you want from this. The latter two points are more of a personal opinion than a rule, and I don't even know how well I explained them :P

Whatever the case, thanks for the fic, and I look forward to seeing more. ^^
Materia-Blade
2007-05-23
ch 3,
abuseNo offense or anything but... on the Naoko thing? Duh. Heh heh. Great job. It's lookin' up! I'm very impressed. There area few errors here and there but you are fixing them. A bit slow but you are fixing them.

Good Job Krimz and/or Rayne.
weebee
2007-05-22
ch 1,
abuseHmm... I've read the fic, and it's okay.

No one's ever done this exact premiss before, but I have observed several problems.

First, I beg most ardently for you to get a pre-reader. Dislexia is not your fault, but it seriously detracts from the story flow when there are blatant errors like that all over the place.

Second, You are seemingly introducing conflict for conflict's sake here... There should be a bit more of an explanation for a distane that strong than him simply leaving. It's starting to annoy me.

Finally, you insult my intelegence. The Tendo girl is obviously Ranma, duh! and I'm seeing a lot of entertainment in future. Keep up the great work, however remember this. While Ranma has much pride, he does not hold angry grudges. You are implying that Motoko is acting like Ranma with her atitude, and quite frankly, you are wrong. If she were acting like Ranma, she would have forgiven him by this point and ignored it, whatever it is, within half an hour. Before you deny this, I have two words for you, Neko-Ken.

Sorry if this sounds more like a flame, but I honestly d like the story... Just try to keep Ranma's true character in mind rather than subconciously destorting him to be more like your portraiyal of Motoko. If anything, she seems to act more like Akane than Ranma, in fact their characters are pretty close matches.

at any rate, good luck.
Daniel Thomas Stack
2007-05-21
ch 3, anon.
abuseSorry about being a little later this time in the review. I like how you showed Ranma's overly concerned and protective streaks. I would love to see more time spent playing with Kaola Su or Ranma being able to eat at full speed. Guess I'll be waiting for Naoko to do that though. At least you didn't rehash Ranko.

When Motoko is talking about Ranma's leaving you did a great job of confirming what was already obvious but holding back on the details that would give it all away. Made it a great tease. You did have one point in there where it was hard for Motoko to talk where you used a male term on her but that's a small typo.

Next chapter may require a bit more action and or reaction from the Tendo training hall. The plot has advanced enough that there should be something going on with them by now.
Wonderbee31
2007-05-21
ch 3,
abuseOh boy, and can just imagine what's going to happen when Naoko shows up, and how this might makes things more insane, as well as the revalation of Motoko's first love.
ranko lina Inverse
2007-05-21
ch 3,
abuseOh I thinking it's so Ranko Tendo Aka Ranma? I love the Su Ranma bit that was so funny. Poor Shinobu hope Ranma helps with the cooking.
Sopchoppy
2007-05-21
ch 3,
abuseGood Story so far, looking forward to more
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