Forgot to tag your story for an alert . . . oops.

Ah-ha, the plot thickens!
I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Yoshimo. I think you have nailed his character pretty well. Driven by his honor to avenge his sister's death, he was easily manipulated by Irenicus into bring the Bhaalspawn to him. It stands to reason that the Kara-Turan would come to respect the main character and regret his part in the matter.
Perhaps one day I will write a fanfic for Yoshimo . . . I see him falling for the lovely, beleagured, heroine. Perhaps "she" will be a rogue as well, wouldn't that be fun!

Anyway, sorry to have rambled on, lol. I have enjoyed your work and really look forward to more. I really like how you have drawn the characters and love how you brought in Hendak. A nice twist!

Thanks for sharing your story!

TylenolFaire aka CelticRose

Wow, good beginning, I loved the blending of the stories in Talon's dreams. Dreams are always a handy way to give some back-round or refresh someone's memory.

I look forward to the premise of Imoen and Talon, as I have yet to play the mod involving the relationship of Imoen and the main character.

TylenolFaire aka CelticRose

That's ... not something I've really associated as a problem in Baldur's Gate before. Interesting (and mildly disturbing) thought. I've always assumed everyone has no libido, I guess... I can’t imagine a young man like Anomen ever thinking of doing it, that’s for sure. He’d probably think it’s impure. And, oh God, that conversation with Gorion, and later Khalid must have been AWKWARD!

Yoshimo is being his brilliant, tragically deceptive self. Really intriguing, watching him corrupt poor Talon. I have a feeling that I might be in for a few sniffles by the time it's time to collect an-Imoen-to-go from Spellhold. I hate watching the corruption of innocents. (I lie - I love it. It's brilliant reading, but it makes me sad).

Can’t wait to see who else joins Talon's little band of merry men. I just hope it's not someone too evil. (And by this I mean Edwin or Korgan, though I know that at least *one* of that pair is close to appearing). I think maybe Aerie should appear and spray a little innocence and naivety in Talon's face, just so he doesn't forget. :D

Ah, plot thickening. It gives a lot more depth to Yoshimo's actions with regards to his betrayal, stepping beyond the game's own plot. I like how Hendak has become a companion, that's definitely fresh.
What this fic may lack in speed, it makes up for in quality. I'll certainly stick with it.

ah. So hendak stayed, interesting :-)

oh, and Talon is going to spin yoshimo's head, isn't he?

Excellent so far!

I quite liked the already thinking yoshimo, and the other small changes :-)

Yay! Updates make me happy... and give me something to do beside homework. Sigh... back to the point. A solid chapter, giving Hendak some good personality points alongside Yoshimo and Talon. I did snicker a bit at the surname you gave Talon, but in a good way. Heh.

I notice the last review mentioned using in-game dialog, so I figured I'd drop my two cents about it. I'm sure you've noticed I use my share of in game dialog as well, so I can't say too much. Still, I have started to shy away from that, just because it does make the story more personalized. But then again, I do loves me certain scenes and talks, so do as you will; I trust your judgment.

I look forward to seeing more updates- as well as how you'll flesh out Imoen once Talon reaches her, or even beforehand...?

Seeing the story was updated just yesterday, I consider myself lucky to be first to post a comment about it.

I found out this story yesterday and I'm enjoying it very much. Like some of the others had said, I like the smooth transition from Baldur's gate I memories to Talon waking up inside the cage. I was more than little surprised when I found out you also killed Minsc and Jaheira, but I don't think that is a bad idea. Having a little different party than your standard one will be refreshing, I think.

I like your characterization, the characters seem very much in... well, character. Yoshimo is very likeable and it will be a shame when he betrays Talon and the rest of the party, I can already feel it. While on it, I consider Talon to be a little strange name for a PC, but that is just me. Maybe it has something to do with the usual image I get when somebody mentions talon. It's no big deal, it just sound strange.

I like the way you handled Copper Coronet slavers quest. It was different enought to be refreshing, yet classic enought not to feel like something strange. Including Hendak in the party(from the looks of it, you intend to keep him) was good idea. Slide did excelent job when she included Reinfield in the party in her fanfic, from what I've seen so far you have sufficient talent to pull similar thing with Hendak. Still, I hope you will include at least some of the NPC's we all know and love in the party. I think it would do the story good to have them in party.

I played Imoen romance for the first time only last month and I liked the mod very much. I liked what you did with first dream, making them even deeper that those and game. I can't wait to see what you do with other two.

A word of criticism. While I know it's hard to avoid it completely, try and use as little as possible of lines that were already used in the game. It gives some people(me included) the feeling like you're taking the easy way out. They are great lines, I think everybody that ever played the game will agree on that, but it would make you look much better(and the story also)if you came up with lines of your own. You're doing great job with Talon, Hendak and Yoshimo, I believe you can make up few extra lines for the NPC's.

The other thing that bothers me is that you mis pronounced Valygar's surname. It's Corthala, not Corlatha. I'm not sure if that's meant to show Talon's short memory because I believe Tolgerias used the correct name but I don't have the time to check it at the moment.

I hope the last two paragraphs didn't give you the feeling I didn't like your story. I did, I liked it very much. However, I felt the two points most be brought to the light. It is nothing critical, yet by repearing them you could make this story even better. Whatever you do, I hope to see a lot more of this story from you, as soon as possible. I read one fanfic on Imoen romance before and it gave me homicidal urges. This one is turning out to be superb to it in every possible way. Please, do continue with your writing. I will be eager to read it when it comes out.

Beautiful. Lord M's dreams were really good, and you've managed to add a lot more detail to it without it losing its simple charm. The end bit is the best; the bit with her stepping closer was perfect.

Time for a best quote award! *drums rolling* This time, it goes to the narrator:
"He’d never been called a hero, never saved anyone, and he suddenly felt very strong, very brave, very protective."

Good description of the feelings of a child... And I like how you've made the dream more comprehensible than what we get in the games.

I'm waiting for the next chapter :) Happy writing!

A great extension of the little dream sequences we were shown in the original romance mod; nice explanation of the goblin attack and the events transpiring thereafter.

It's been a while since I played the Imoen romance through, but from what I remember you're doing an excellent job of keeping it close while adding your own touches.

Once again, looking forward to further chapters! I don't suppose you have plans to continue this into TOB?

This is great!
Loving it so far, a really good start. Your characterization of Yoshimo is excellent, and I can easily picture his lines being spoken by his voice from the game. I'll definitely be watching this fic.
I also enjoyed Lord M's Imoen Romance, and count it among the "essential" mods I have installed.

A good new chapter. Your description of the sounds and smells of the Coronet and the Slums make it a more vivid place than just memories from the game... And it's very interesting that you seem to plan on making an original party (though killing off Minsc and Jaheira in Irenicus' dungeon in addition to Khalid and Dynaheir wasn't nice!). Seeing the life of their own you've given to your other characters, I'm impatient to see what you'll make out of Hendak!

Happy writing!

Oh, man! When I saw Alora's name, my eyes lit up and a smile cracked on my face. Too bad it's not the same fun-loving halfling we all love and adore. Ah, well...

Certainly taking the interesting route, huh? You managed to cut out some of the lengthier parts of the slaver quest, so we didn't have to read about every little detail. I liked that.

So, is Hendak going to be a permanat fixture? Are we not going to have any of the characters we all love and know? Eiother way, I trust you'll write brilliantly.