...More writey please, no da.

This is really splendid, though the word splendid is by far a real understatement. There are not many Ashitare pieces out there and this one really ... touching. I got all emotional and sad. It was a very satisfying read. Keep up the good work.

This was absolutely brilliant.

Cheers,
Chibi-Kaz

This is an extremely intriguing pov on Ashitare. As I'm sure you know, it's a rare treat to see him being written about at all. Here you've presented him in a sympathetic but realistic manner, and did a great job of capturing the essence of his human/animal duality.

Nakago definitely comes off poorly in this fic. Of all the reprehensible things he did, I confess I found his treatment of Ashitare to be among the most unforgivable. I think that Ashitare's instinctual need to stay in the pack by appeasing/serving the Alpha male is an insightful explanation for his tolerating Nakago's abuse. The fleeting glimpses you give of his humanity in his interaction with Soi and in his questions about Nakago's orders make that abuse even more horrifying.

You deserve major kudos for matching your writing style to the character you're portraying! I admire an author that is willing to experiment with technique to deepen a characterization. For whatever it's worth to you, there is one piece of concrit I would offer in regards to that style.

If the intention was to present the narrative in the primitive manner that Ashitare thinks, it would be best to leave out any references to the person telling his story. The line 'Omega Wolf thinks angry thoughts at the voice who tells his story. He does not like the way she speaks' was funny...but you really had me into Ashitare's mindset at that point, and suddenly coming across a self-aware reference to the narrator took me out of it... ^^

Thank you for posting this excellent pov piece! I look forward to seeing what you might consider doing for Miboshi...*grin*

All the best,
KittyLynne

OMG!! I feel so bad for him!...Schizophrenia(sp?)? The voices in your head one, at least...lol. This one made me all...pity-ing...if that's a word. I feel really bad for him. Poor Ashitare --Omega Wolf--. You're really smart. You know that? I didn't know any of this wolf stuff, either, and it took me nearly forever to figure out who the ones who weren't alphas or omega wolf were...ha ha ha. Write again soon!