Reviews for An Honest Mistake

Reviews For: An Honest Mistake - Reviews: Page 1 of 6

BAPTISTA 2008-04-12 ch 10,	abuseThis is real good so far. I'm really interested to read what's going to happen next. Keep on writing! Little tiny correction thingy: I think you mean "definitely" instead of "defiantly". "Defiant" means rebellious, and "definite" is certain.
iwalkinthelight 2008-03-25 ch 10, anon.	abuseYAY a new chapter! Don't worry, this one was awesome. I liked the counselor lady talking to him and his reaction was pretty good and realistic, definetally. You gave the story a bit of direction with the addition of the two new characters, Shay and Quil. Quite frankly, i'm interested in what two 13 year olds did to get in jail.. and sorry to hear about your loss! I'll try to avoid getting mad if you don't update...usually i would get mad...anyways, later.
SamanthaMae 2008-03-24 ch 10,	abuseWhoa! You haven't updated in, like, a month! Glad to see you're writing again :) I liked this chapter. It was calm and emotional. You can really see Dallas is trying to forget about his experience slowly, but it just won't go away. I like how you write young Dallas, btw. I'm reading this story, and now that I think about it, it seems weird that it's in Dallas' first person POV. There is something about first person point of view I find weird, but it just seems like Dallas would never write a story, you know? Anyway, I found a few grammar mistakes you might want to look at. Your dialouge is awkward, because you have it like, "Hi." She said. "Hey." He answered. When it should be: "Hi," she said. "Hey," he answered. The "she" and "he" remain uncapitalized because it explains what he/she did. Like explained, said, answered, replied, etc. You use a comma after what they say because you're saying "he said" or "he explained". It's really confusing, because when you write something like, "I know." He ran a hand through his hair. There's a period instead of a comma because instead of "he said", there's an action. The "he" is capitalized because you're writing an action he did. This is so hard to explain, but I hope you understand what I'm saying, lol. I'm such a rambler. I also love that you have Dallas being sarcastic. There's a little bit of the guy we see in the Outsiders, lol :) ...Can't wait for your next update!
sunshinegrl23 2008-03-22 ch 10,	abuse"I’m an open book, but only the summary is available at the moment." Brilliant!
sunshinegrl23 2008-03-22 ch 7,	abuseSo Dallas earned a little respect "inside", or that's how I see it. I really like the 40 questions, and his "Doc". I'm interested to see how far this story will go:)
sunshinegrl23 2008-03-22 ch 5,	abuseAgain, very well written, and BRAVO for doing your homework! This is very, VERY "Dallas", and very realistic for any child forced to grow up too soon. I keep thinking to myself that having my teenager read this would be a pretty good idea, show him what drugs can do.
sunshinegrl23 2008-03-22 ch 3,	abuseAgain very well written! Nice detail, very VERY sad, and would definitely explain (or begin to explain) the Dallas we all "met" in Tulsa.
sunshinegrl23 2008-03-22 ch 2,	abuse"it's not as bad as" will always have a new meaning to me! This is a very well written story, and this particular chapter made me laugh hysterically!
Ponyboy65 2008-03-22 ch 10,	abuseYay! I love this story and I'm so happy you updated! Dally is totally in charactor as always. I also really like your dialog. Thanks for your update! Srry for the short review. I'll try to write more next time, I'm distracted. Ponyboy65
Jackie Wackie =) 2008-03-21 ch 10, anon.	abuseyeah Dallas. I really like how the 3 of them became friends. and i love the initiation. haha . i can imagine you starting SOMETHING like that in our school for the incoming freshman lol i want my chapter to be up!! so UPDATE!!
its JackAttack =) 2008-03-21 ch 9, anon.	abuseyey laruen!! lol i'm kinda lost.. but i also have a lot on my mind (like poor Dally).. so your gonna have to fill in my misunderstandings at school. i love it. you've always had such a way for great detail =)
hollisterlove x3 2008-03-21 ch 10,	abusedont worry... its amazing!! and thats very good since youve been through so much. im so sorry for your loss and youll be in my prayers. but i love this story =]
dalonycake 2008-01-28 ch 1,	abuseLovely starting xD Haha, the party made me crack up. Just thinking of kid-Dally doing all that stuff.. love it! (x
iwalkinthelight 2008-01-07 ch 9, anon.	abuseawesome fic! I've always wondered what Dally did to get in jail at ten. I like how you've portrayed him and what happened. What i don't get, though, is why Mikey didn't visit him before. If they were best friends, wouldn't he have visited Dally before then? That's all i can find confusing or wrong, though. I like how you skip time. One year has gone by in a few chapters. Anyways, i anxiously await the next chapter!
SamanthaMae 2008-01-05 ch 9,	abuseAw, poor Dally. He'll probably never stop having dreams about this. I like how you have Jack being like the brotherly figue for Dallas. Someone to talk to, someone who will listen. I loved the scene with Mikey--it just comes to show how much things in Mikey's head are changing, and it makes Dallas sad to see it. I saw a few grammar mistakes, but it's only comma use. And another thing I noticed: "It’s incredible that in a whole year I haven’t had one visitor. And now out of nowhere someone wants to see me……I wonder who it is. ‘Cause it definitely wasn’t dad, he would never want to see me again." This paragraph was in present tense, but the rest of the story is in past. Shouldn't it be: "It WAS incredible that in a whole year I hadn't had one visitor. And THEN, out of nowhere someone WANTED to see me. I wonderED who it WAS. 'Cause it definitely wasn't Dad; he would never want to see me again." Unless you said in the beginning, "It is incrediblethat in a whole year i haven't had one visitor, I thought. And now, out..." Just my thought :) Liked the chapter. Poor young Dally, feeling as alone as ever. Can't wait to see what happens!

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