 G. 2009-10-31 . chapter 1 It's a good idea, and your writing is pretty good too.
But it's too short. The story is so compact that it just jumps around and you really don't even feel sad for Forrest Junior in the end, because you don't have the chance to know him.
The dialogue is also a bit static.
But like I said, it's still good, and the idea is really good. |
 FehrPlay 2009-08-28 . chapter 1I thought that was really good, and cleverly thought out. I reckon the ending could've been a little more detailed, as it seemed almost rushed to get the idea of the end out, but otherwise it was great. Excuse my crappy explanation skills there to. |