Awesome. Keep up the great work. Catch ya on the flip side.

wow this was so sad. i cried... and im still crying. this was so good and i feel so bad for Jack... ah okay i need a tissue.

Well...the plot would have been alot better with more coherency. Or maybe with more detail and dragged out way further. With it all being so close together it's kind of unbelivable, for example: the part where Gracie get's shot, the part where Diana dies, and the part where Bobby consoles Jack. Seeing Jack crying and actually upset I don't think Bobby would make fun of him (especially considering that he would probably see doctors rushing in and whatnot) and they also probably would have taken the baby. Then, when Diana dies there's no real diagnosis. Did she have a heart attack or what? And when Gracie gets shot she most likely wouldn't die from blood loss. You probably should've stuck with infection. I just found it unplausable that a child her age would've been able to sustain the pain without giving indication that it was "serious" like an adult might've. Anyway, you had a good plot going. I think if you just work on some of the loops and grammer it'll be great!

Aww...this is so sad...poor Jack. This was great...=]