What's wrong with long, choppy chapters? Okay, choppy, maybe not so. But you're doing alright with it. I like getting information about each of your characters in each chapter. When I reach the end of each chapter, I felt like I've gone through -something-. A journey? At least, a part of the journey that these characters are going through. Using one primary character a chapter would change things. And I'll have to wait before I can find out what happens to the other characters.

As for the Matt and Jasmine scene... It didn't feel rushed through my initial reading. Given the urgent need for Matt to find out what happened to Drowzee, he had a good reason to want to get out of the Pokemon centre ASAP. The pacing felt okay to me.

Things seem to be coming together in this chapter, but at the same time, things are getting a lot more complex. If you continue introducing new things each chapter, you may find that the story starts to lose focus, and it'll be hard to concentrate on what happens to the certain characters. You could have focused on Matt in this chapter, and hinted at Markus's plight, instead of introducing Red outright. Though I thought the Red and the Regis scene was one of the better ones in the chapter. I can see your problem with Matt. He's just running around a lot. Maybe if you reworked the Suicune encounter around, you'll be able to get the desired effect.

And that was a slightly out-of-focused review. Hope you managed to make sense of it. Hope you continue working on this story.

Another great chapter. I'm starting to be intrigued by the multiple stories running parallel to each other. Line breaks also made things less confusing.

Markus and Julia's interactions throughout the chapter were wonderfully done. Markus is getting surprisingly developed as a character. Initially I thought he was merely a side character, and it wasn't until the last part with Trey that I realised that you were going to involve him in the main plot after all.

Downside: another incosistency. 'Markus' became 'Marcus' in the beginning. Sorry... I like to look out for these things. And if you were going to make the 'é' as in 'Pokémon', just hold Alt, type 130 and release Alt and you'll have the 'é'. Hope that tip helped.

I like it

I found myself liking this rather early (in the chapter), and as I read on I hardly noticed the length. Well-developed characters (despite what you think) and I liked the various character interaction throughout the chapter.

The characters feel realistic, and almost tangible to an extent. Very early on, the scene with Julia, Ben and his Combee sounds like a typical 'sibling' scene. I'm anticipating Matt and Julia's reaction to each other when they meet, because of the expectations that they have of each other.

On the negative side, there are minor errors and irregularities that I'd like to point out. Matt's neighbour was introduced as 'Sara', but you mentioned a 'Sarah' later in the chapter. Tiny errors here and there like effected/affected and her/here, but nothing too serious. Lastly, there's a Fiore region and Orre region, but I've never heard of Fiorre... (if it was an intientional combination, I'll take it back) Also, I'd suggest using the line breaks available on the documents editor. If you have line breaks on your original document, you'll have to use the one here. If you're not, I'll still suggest that you use them anyway.

Overall, it was an excellent read. I'll watch for future updates, though I may not be able to review them immediately.