 Aly the Trickster 2007-05-30 . chapter 1Yay for you! Brilliant prologue!
Sorry I didn't review earlier, I was really tired...but anyways, thank you for making this. It starts the new story well, and I can't wait for you to continue it. You should add the chapter of Guilty Pleasure to this. And please make it a lemon story, I haven't read a good one in a while, and your pretty much the only writer I know who is good enough to make a lemon story that I actually like.
There was one grammar mistake, though. You said:
He smiled the smile she noticed that was almost identical to Yoh’s, only more sinister.
The sentence doesn't really make sense, you could say:
He smiled. She noticed that the smile was almost identical to Yoh's, only more sinister.
I don't know if the sentence was meant that way, but I thought you'd like to know!
Keep on writing with your brilliance,
~Aly |