This is an interesting scenario, and I like it that you didn't make Lostelle into a polarised "cruel trainer". Both Pokemon characters are a bit... unstable, which could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you develop it. For example, it seems a bit weird that Dour would consider Spike his "only friend" after Spike spent quite a while mocking him. And Spike's mood swings (mean-ashamed-mean-ashamed-mean-giggly) are a bit epic. Then again, that could make this a good story if you are deliberately writing the characters that way. I'm just saying that my first impression of both of these characters is that they are far from emotional stability.

You clearly have a lot of skill, but you need to control your tendency to over-write. For example:

'His eyes were shimmering gently against the tiny cracks of light, seeping in through the openings in the canopy of leaves above their heads, treading neat pathways through the dampened grass below. They glowed gently, reflecting Spike’s own penetrating glare back at him, the rebound intensified by the glassed teardrops that were frozen inside Dour’s eyelids - ready to burst like the walls of a weir at any given moment.'

This is not good writing. It is vastly over-written. I count at least seven metaphors or similes. I'll give you points for sticking to a water theme, but there are so many images that the effect is to totally distract from what you're actually saying. This paragraph would be better if it had fewer than half those words.

Wow, such a breath of fresh air from the fics I've been reading. Excellent chapter.

Very nice work, I can't see anything needing improvement. Plot development, description, humor... You show, not tell... Only thing lacking was the description of the ship. I can't tell anything about it. :\

Regardless, very good work. Keep it up. (P.S. I snickered at the card reference. ^^)

Well; another great chapter here! So good, that I read it TWICE! XD

I love all this information I'm slowly discovering, piece by piece. It keeps me anticipating what's gonna happen next.

I love how Dour is beginning to stick up for himself; even if it was one or twice. I love how Fang continues to get even more annoying and obnoxious as chapters progress - and Spike's lines and wittiness still continue to never grow old!

Love it, simply amazing! Keep up the great work; you can't lose your focus now!

- Em.

I just love how the first scene leads into another flashback. =) And even the flashback is highly amusing and classical. (Or maybe that wasn't the word I was looking for?)
...I don't even know what that word means. "Hallucinogenic". YAY! NEW WORD FOR ME! =D
Why was Fang licking Dour's paws, anyway?
Good, Spike remembers where Emily's (apparent?) whereabouts are.

“For fuck’s sake! We can’t get to the Pattern-fucking-Bush; I’m stuck on this island with two retards, and I’VE GOT A SPLINTER IN MY FRICKIN’ TOE!!” - That line made me laugh SO MUCH!

YAY! NEW CHARACTER! =) I'm already beginning to like this Azzurri character.
...And ANOTHER character. Buzzard - I likes it! =)
...Did I ever mention that I hate it when you leave me in suspense with this whole 'Dour' thing. Really! I HATE IT.

Characters are believable, dialogue just never gets old - and your description is top-notch. =) Don't lose your focus!
- Emily.

Yar har har! *arrives on a box*

I noted that little Thoughtless Seven thing before I saw the A/N. Funny. :)

I haven't been reviewing this thing, have I? :( I was meaning to review chapter 4, but it didn't work.

Anyways, moving on, let's start off with a little praise.

This one was a good chapter. I liked it a bit more than chocolate, which is saying something.

It was also unfolded well, not advancing too fast and no slowly being a slow ass.

As for con-crit, I got nothing. Everything was made well.

Well, teh RG's going so...

~RG

Fang has a strange habit of licking Dour and now Spike's paw. ^^; Fang is an odd one though very interesting.

Fang needs to learn to be nicer to his elders...I just hope Azzurri isn't seemingly THAT old. I mean not like 30-40... ^^; But eh, she's a fun character.

Jurgen? That's Dour's brother, the leader of the Schneider clan right? Wonder what caused him to go missing and I feel sorry for him having to face someone who hates him later on.

Spike got the Joyful Twelve, Dour got the Vengeful Six and Fang is stuck with the odd Thoughtless Seven *bursts out laughing hysterically*

This really is a great fic, Mog! XD

Rofl, what a funny chapter. I mean, the story of Spike and Dour's past is sad but the part where they met Azzurri and Buzzard were great along with the trip back from Pattern Bush. XD Fang's annoying but in a good way.

Whoa...what the heck was that? Schneider, Dour, four years, 'something far more important'? So while Spike is searching for Emily, Dour is searching for something 'FAR more important'?

I didn't notice til I looked it up but this fic is in the Adventure genre and now it is certainly starting to turn into one. ^^ Oh and I hope Fang joins them, though I get the feeling that's going to happen anyway.

(“Oh you two - you’re so pathetic!” - Called another voice - which was quickly followed by the rapid stepping of two padded paws pressing down deep into the sand.

“…Holy crap Argos - It’s Volvic!” Argon snickered, giving the identical Aggron a nudge.

“…Fear the wrath of the almighty bottled water!” Argos cackled.

“Yeah…” Volvic sneered, folding his arms. “That means a lot coming from somebody named after a catalogue.”

Argos blushed, rubbing the back of his skull with his claws. “Yeah well… I…”)

That is a hilarious introduction of Volvic. XD

-

It's sad that Dour had to leave Lostelle but it was good that Lostelle understood that he wanted to leave to see the world. I wonder though, how did Emily end up missing for three years? Did...a Trainer catch her I wonder? Well, no use pondering, I'd best read on. Oh yeah, the two Aggron were hilarious... So is Argos really the name of a catalogue? I know that it is also the name of some ancient island or city...cuz I swear I heard of Argos before... :/ Just don't know where...I think the earliest I can recount of it is from that game, Rygar for PS2. ^^;

Er... Sorry about not reviewing the last few chapters, I just got so into it that I couldn't help myself but to go on. :(

I like this story a lot! I like how you personified the landscape, like how in the first chapter you make it feel like the forest was really creeping in on Dour, as if it was really trying to grab him, and that the fog really was like glass. I love Dour; he's such a coward normally, but get him mad and you'd better WATCH OUT! 'Cuz he'll go all mental on you and burn you to a crisp. :D I'm really interested in his past, and about the Schneider (sp?) clan. Their inner workings and how the leader is missing currently intrigues me. And how does he know everyone's surname just by looking at them, I wonder...?

And Spike's just adorable. :D He acts like this big tough guy, with his punk haircut and foul-language, but as soon as he sees someone upset he turns into a big softie. :D And it's so sad with what happened with Emily, her being missing and all... although the birthday flashback scene where he dunked her face into her cake was funny. XD (But I would be really upset if I was Emily, too. D:) His flashbacks are quite odd though, he ends up talking during it, acting all mental... I feel sorry for him. :(

Fang's kinda like the annoying disgusting little brother or cousin that you absolutely hate because he's so annoying, but can't help loving 'cuz he's so adorable when he's not being stupid. XD

I know you're a bit upset, but please don't make this the last chapter! This is an excellent fic, and I'm sure everyone who reads this will be upset if you stopped. Especially Thoughtless, she seemed so excited to be mentioned and included in this. I know what it's like to work hard on your fics but not get any recognition, the most reviews I have on any of mine is like...eight. And they all have more than 5 chapters. D: It's probably the reason why I stopped updating, other than losing interest in one of the fandoms a fic of mine is in. But, you're a much better writer than me by far, and you definitely deserve recognition, but, unfortunately, it doesn't always happen. D: I hope this measly little review helps you a little bit. :D

LOLZ. This part stood out especially to me:
Dour bit his lip, looking slightly pained and awkward. “Err… I’m not. I’m just… I’m just too warm. Azzurri’s making breakfast, so it’s real hot in the kitchen.” Dour mumbled, attempting to cover his embarrassment with excuses.

Great job, Mog! Keep up the good work! You can so write well, and I shall not hear you say otherwise!

I love Fang as a character. He's such an annoying little bitch, but when his cowardly side shows through, you realize that he's not as tough as he appears to be.

Dour's little parts where he seemingly gets possessed is quite possible the scariest thing I've read in a while...

And finally, for some reason the part with the cards made me grab a pillow and whimper in fear. Probably because I've been watching these absolutely terrifying videos on Youtube (darned PS2 commercials; I'm going to have nightmares now.)

-Soaringdragon43

Hm, I wonder what the Thoughtless Seven means? *glances at username* ...I'm totally stumped! D:

XP

Lol, this chapter was...wait for it...MINT. :DD There were so many lol-worthy moments, and we're finally learning more about the Schneider clan!! Ooh, Dour/Spike family tension...was so...tense. Aw at Azzurri for being awesome, and I like Tarot with his beard and what not. :p

Ooh, vengeful six-- I'm worried, though. Great chap!

“For fuck’s sake! We can’t get to the Pattern-fucking-Bush; I’m stuck on this island with two retards, and I’VE GOT A SPLINTER IN MY FRICKIN’ TOE!!”

L.O.L. XDD *dies* Greatest thing that has come from Spike's mouth. XDD

Lol at Buzzard. "YA BROKE MAH CHINA" XDD She's hilarious already. And Azurri is so cute. Fang, though, is so annoying. XD Him drowning but not really drowning...priceless. XDD

Agh, this story is so funny. ^_^ Easter egg... LOL!

OH, oh dear, Dour seems to have accidentally had some steroids. o.o Oh dear, this is certainly a new development! And lol at Fang...Mightyena isn't exactly a smart choice against Aggrons. XD

...I want a Sitrus Shake... :'D