Again amazing. Still confusing but i'm beginning to think that if it's not the point then it's certainly your style. Personally don't like the Harry but hey it's your character (in a manner of speaking of course. He is actually J.K's) Very emotional.

Well, it's interesting and quite well-written, but Mirror is no proof-reader. It's a bad idea to have a glaring error in the very first line - you've got "their here" instead of "their heir" or "their hero" (it's not clear which it was supposed to be) - as this will cause a lot of people just to hit the Back buttom immediately.

Then you've got "from he second" and "the thing that lead him to death" (should be "leads" or "led", depending on what you were meanibg to say).

I'm glad Severus chose to side with his worshippers against Harry: this version of Harry really *needs* killing.

I think you should expand this into a whole multi-chapter story, that would be cool.