I just realized about midway through the chapter that Alice and Frank are Neville's parents. I now feel stupid. Also, you mentioned cars from the 1790's. A stem-powered tricycle was invented in 1769, but I can't imagine them driving that.

-pr
P.S. Oooohhh, language!

Wait... did Lily just use magic during the holidays? Isn't that a pretty significant violation of ministry policy?

-pr

this is so freaking good! u need to update this!

Okay, this fic...ehh, really not your best either, I'm sorry. Bits of it were extremely cute and fluffy (always a good thing, don't worry), and it does have its charm, but I think that overall you're a better writer now.

Likes? Dislikes? Can I be any more vague?

Perhaps I'll make a list...

Likes: Lily and James being "almost friends," particularly James' confusion about what exactly that entails. Lily mouthing off at James when he was only going to ask her if he could borrow a quill haha. Sirius doing the cha-cha in his seat. McGonagall - always a treat! The whole first chapter, really. Your description of Lily's clothes - I could see Lily being very meticulous about her outfits. James bowing to Lily's father. ...Sweet, humorous bits like that. Offer a fresh take on the Lily/James romance, you know? Very nice work, and good dialogue, too! :)

Dislikes: Some grammatical errors/typos. Tense shifts (not too many, but enough). Parts of it might be a little too modern. Or, not modern, but...muggle? In other words, if you replaced all of the HP characters with a bunch of modern teens of your own invention (OCs), this story would still work. And that, to me, makes it kind of unbelievable. It's all a matter of atmosphere.

Other than that, though, great job! Again, I can definitely see that you've grown as a writer since you wrote this, so no worries! Also...didn't you say you wrote this in a matter of hours? I could never do that! Never. So I understand why bits of it might be shaky.

Not bad for your first fanfic!

Keep up the good work! Lots of love! Please don't get offended, cuz I think you're going to make a fantastic writer someday, no joke. D

The story's really cute! I just think you need to fix some grammatical errors. You really just had the same type of mistakes through it. Otherwise, bravo!

peace,

Adaira

I like that chapter a lot

i love how you potrayed James' and Lily's relationship

I just thought i should tell you this that you just have to improve your puncuation and then Lo'Behold the story will be awesome!:d

its been a while since i read a fanfic and the first one i clicked on was this one, and im glad i did. i read the first chapter a couple of nights ago and i was hooked by the end. can't wait untill you post chapter 4.

luvsrw

Aw! They are so CUTE! Update soon if you can!

I loved it :)

best i've read in a while

UPDATE SOON PLEASE!

beautiful! lol i am loving james even more than usual right now! and the beach scene- classic lol i. love. it. post moree soon!

Interesting chapter. It sure is a different perspective in things. Keep it up!

I loved it. Update soon

haha that was soo cute! i hope you update soon!

FINISH IT 'Please' "sniff"

i absolutely LOVE this story! PLEASEE keep going! some of the things are a little unrealistic, like in ch. 1 some of the abrupt "lets be friends" type thing, but other than that this story is one of my favorite hp fics ive read! and trust me, ive read a lot lol