|Reviews for BurnOut|
| Echo Dancer 3/20/11 . chapter 38
Claremonty, when you warned me Chapter 37 is intense, I believed you. But you don’t give yourself enough credit – it is searing and impassioned, exquisite and mesmerizing. And those adjectives don’t do it justice either.
C37 was worth the long wait. Beautifully executed. The way you created atmosphere, describe surroundings and emotions is lyrical perfection. From the first paragraph to the last word, I’m immersed in the story – seeing what’s happening, while at the same time it’s more than watching. I experienced what the Jean and Warren are feeling and it left me breathless!
If I listed everything I loved, I’d be quoting the entire chapter. However, certain moments resonated deeply with me – Jean’s insecurities during the ballet about her and Warren and the way you wove her contemplations into the ballet’s tale, how hard Warren tries to make and do everything just right that night, their “catch me if you can” game, Warren’s “Kill me.”
While unfolding Jean and Warren’s evening, you remember, too, to effortless remind us of the larger stories…Object 13, Peter and Xi’an’s ulterior motives, Mount Verloren, rising conflict between mutant and non. Can’t wait to learn how all ties together.
The ending of the chapter when the building anticipation finally comes to climax – I think I was panting with emotion. And then… God, I don’t want to think about what happened to Warren. Both scared as hell and hopeful the part of Phoenix that is Jean protected her love.
Please let it be that what anchors Jean to her humanity is indeed Warren. I remember what Peter said last chapter “The Angel’s no anchor…it’d be like tying herself to a cloud.” What I say to Peter is that you are seeing it the wrong way – Jean’s love for Warren could be the anchor. Anchoring in that would be like tying herself to a mountain. Jean’s love for Warren could be her cornerstone. I fervently hope I’m right!
I want this story to go on forever. Every installment is so satisfying I could never grow tired of it. Claremonty, if you don’t turn professional, the world will be denied something truly magical. Ah ha! I think I finally pinned down the right words. What you create on the page is literary magic.
Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Claremonty. I’ll offer up a plea to the writing wizards and muses that you have enough free time to conjure another chapter soon.
| Aira Slytherin 11/10/10 . chapter 37
I don't think there are words to describe the incredible tale you're spinning. Everything is so vivid and enchanting, that I can't tear myself away before I reach the end - and it still leaves me wanting more. Hat down to your unique writing skills, my friend - and thank you for sharing them with us readers. :-)
| Echo Dancer 11/9/10 . chapter 37
Wow! Incredible. That chapter literally took my breath away. It is brilliant.
Claremonty, you are one hell of a writer!
You probably know me well enough to agree I'm usually not at a loss for words, but anything right said now would be inadequate.
Think I'll go back and reread this segment. And maybe again for a third time.
| Echo Dancer 9/26/10 . chapter 36
This chapter is writing perfection. From the first paragraph with its exquisitely tuned narrative of the classical concert to Warren’s dramatic effort to down Domino, Jean being drawn to Columbus Circle through their connection, to all the way to the monumental decision Angel faces in the final sentence.
I read the chapter twice and came away even more impressed the second pass. The first time, I couldn’t read fast enough – needed to know what was going to happen next. For the second reading, I slowed down to take in the richness of the scenes and to linger in the whirlwind Claremonty so skillfully sweeps us up within.
The paralleling crescendos of the Bach concerto and the Boardroom attack is brilliant. Jean’s connection with Warren brings her to him in the proverbial nick of time. And the discovery and reveal that Tareyton is Mystique was masterfully depicted.
Just so many wonderful bits and snippets sprinkled throughout (Domino’s cavalier demeanor and wink when leaving, Avalanche’s fear of flying, Bethesda Fountain, Warren feeling he’s no angel, amongst so many others) create rich imagery and authenticity.
We’re left to wonder which life will Warren choose. There’ll be guilt no matter what, I’m afraid. Even if he despises his father, Warren did risk his life to go after him. If he now allows the senior Worthington to die to save Jean, remorse will likely come. But how can he let Jean fall to the Reaper? A gut wrenching life-and-death decision on the count of three…
Echo Dancer claps and hollers “Bravo!” to Claremonty on a brilliant piece of writing.
| Claremonty 9/6/10 . chapter 35
I just want to respond to some of the wonderful comments people have so kindly been leaving.
I am so pleased you are still finding this tale engrossing. Your support has in large part made this project possible. Thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed the dialogue in the board room scene. It was difficult to give this long awaited encounter between Warren and his father the right feel, especially since it happens in front of other people in the midst of official proceedings.
Can't thank you enough for your fabulous, detailed reviews! You have picked up on so many things, even aspects I wasn't that clearly aware of myself - like the aggressive challenge so many of the young characters pose to the older generation. You are so on it with that comment! Yes, a deep connection is building between Jean and Warren that (we can only hope) may help them survive the coming existential conflicts.
Regarding the Reaper Sentinel - I did tons of research on conductivity and advanced materials. Carbon fiber and/or ceramic would be a really good way to go if you wanted to build a machine to fight Magneto that he couldn't immediately appropriate for his own arsenal.
Anyway, all these new reviews have truly inspired me and I'm producing text faster than ever. I'm almost done with the next action-filled installment. Hope all of you enjoy it!
BTW thanks also to Bladed Darkness (loved your comment on the flying thing which is a deep symbolic/spiritual Jean/Warren connection) and Sonar and whylime and PinkRangerV and everyone else!
Thank you! :)
| Aira Slytherin 9/6/10 . chapter 35
I'm so sorry for not reviewing earlier (when the new update landed in my inbox) but things have been hectic lately for me, so not much time was left for .
Though, I have to admit this Chapter left me holding my breath, and wanting for more of the same amazing intrigue it's built. The verbal spars at the board meeting were priceless, and the foreshadowing of what's to come has put me once more on the edge of my seat! Hope you'll be able to get the next installment up soon - for the sake of yours truly's poor nerves XD
| Echo Dancer 8/24/10 . chapter 35
Another beautifully crafted chapter. Love that Warren and Jean are connecting through their dreams. Souls speaking? But then the dream turning into Warren’s worst nightmare (taking of his wings) interwoven with the double-edged meaning of the bindings (his and Jean) was thought provoking. And that he’s still apparently manifesting her power by floating to the ceiling is even more intriguing – unless he actually flew in his sleep, but it didn’t seem like that was the case.
The apprehension and tension of Warren and Josh “crashing” WWII’s party was superb. I am especially enjoying this aspect of the story and can’t wait to see how all will shake out. So many subtleties in that growing confrontation. Something that I’ve noticed as well is the feeling that the next generation is grabbing the torch and not so much being passed it. Warren, Josh, Candy – to name a few. So the underlying theme of upheaval and change is echoing off the main storyline.
I’m impressed with the technical aspects brought to the explanation of the new Sentinel Reaper model. Either Claremonty has done a lot of research into these fictional creations or the gift of writing tech-ese that’s completely convincing. The presentation of the robot’s capabilities gave me shivers.
As the world begins to hold its collective breath with the coming of the Crystal, we are holding our breath on many fronts, including the face-off in this chapter with its dramatic cliffhanger. As much as I dislike Warren's father in this story, I'm hoping we don't lose him. A close brush with death has a way of changing our perspectives and priorities, though with the senior Worthington, it would be difficult to predict his reaction.
Again, I could continue write praise for this chapter and the story as a whole. I was completely absorbed into this segment as I was all previous to it. Just keep the story coming, Claremonty!
| Echo Dancer 8/22/10 . chapter 34
I just recently discovered this truly remarkable story. To say I’m impressed with the magnificent writing and the amazingly intricate storyline would be a woeful understatement. BurnOut is simply one of the best stories I’ve read in the world of fan fiction.
Once I started, I almost wanted to call in sick to work to finish. It pulled me and wouldn’t let me go. I had to keep reading – well, at least as soon as the workday was done.
Almost too much to praise – the depth of the characters, realistic and sophisticated dialogue, the maturity of the cast, the breadth of the story, its pacing, the author’s firm grasp of grammar and spelling, how emotions are related with crystal clarity without being excessively wordy, the power in those emotions, how pictures are formed so clearly in my mind that I feel as if I’m part of the story. And that’s just the beginning of what makes this a masterful piece of storytelling.
Claremonty, this is brilliant. Jean has been a favorite of mine since wa-a-ay back – to the very beginnings of the X-men. And Warren, well he is my special little obsession. How you’ve depicted them is tribute to two characters who tend to be out of the spotlight, especially Warren.
A Jean and Warren pairing is something unexpected, yet not. As far back as the very first issues of the original X-men series, Warren liked Jean. A lot. Scott was always the one in the Warren’s way, and he finally resigned himself that she loved Scott. In BurnOut, the angst that is integral to their connection is sublime. And as a lover of angst, the story has enough to satisfy that need as well.
Another aspect of your story that keeps it endlessly fascinating is how we are pulled into different perspectives. Each switch brings more insight and more intrigue. Yet, you remember where the roots are – Jean and Warren – and never makes us wait too long to return to center.
I could ramble on for paragraphs more about the virtues of this work, but I’ll stop here. Just know that each new chapter is greatly anticipated. Seeing how long is has been in the works gives me pause – I hope the speed of the postings won’t keep me waiting too long.
Bravo, Claremonty. Please do not abandon this story before it has been fully told. That fate is simply too harsh for a tale as wonderful as BurnOut.
P.S. I saw the note about "The Lost Mountain" on FanLib. Since that site is apparently no longer up, is it possible we'll see that story posted here in the future?
| Sonar 3/20/10 . chapter 29
i am really liking this story.
| Sonar 3/20/10 . chapter 17
Another great chapter.
| Sonar 3/20/10 . chapter 16
That is an interesting chapter. I actually liked it.
| Bladed Darkness 11/9/09 . chapter 30
I have just gotten up to this latest chapter, and I have to say, I believe this is the most under-reviewed story in the X-Men:Evolution category. The writing is brilliant, and the pacing is wonderful. (I have to say that I like it when you occasionally call Jean, 'Grey', in your paragraphs, it's a very nice touch in my opinion.)
The switching between Warren and Jean is perfect, leaving cliffhangers without making the reader want to skim the other character's part to see what happens next to the cliffhanger character. Every little switch feels like a cliffhanger on its own, but also gives a nice feeling that there's a landing not too far below to catch the reader.
I'm loving Jean's struggle, it may be the best work on the Phoenix debacle I've seen so far, with the inner turmoil, and the ability to relate to Warren due to the longing to fly high forever.
I'm simply stunned by the quality of your work, and I am brimming with desire for the next chapter.
| Aira Slytherin 11/1/09 . chapter 30
The correct term for this last chapter was WOW - and in the best way possible! Atmosphere's getting charged so quickly, and I can't help wondering when it's gonna explode - especially with Karma pushing her luck like that. If she tries one more such stunt, I don't think it'll be long before Jean figures out she and 'Peter' actually ARE mutants *opps sorry for the spoiler*
Keep them coming - the faster, the better! :-)
| Aira Slytherin 9/17/09 . chapter 28
Thanks for the reminder - I should have put it on alert ages ago... I'm so scatterbrained sometimes.
This latest part was really intriguing I must say - I love it when characters have visions, it gives certain magic to the story which I simply can't resist.
Give it to Scott to behave like an idiot (he never really understood certain things - which is one of the reasons why I'm still so shocked that he and Jean lasted that long in the comics.) You're handling all chars excellently I must say (unlike yours truly - I've probably screwed up more than several in the process), and I just can't wait to see what exactly lies beyond that horror of a cliffie - so I hope u take pity on us poor readers with a prompt update (whenever you're ready of course :-)
| whylime 9/13/09 . chapter 28
this is getting really good