Oh. I liked your insights on why Nini was so cynical towards Satine... I also like what the last paragraph pretty much summed up: that Harold Ziddler had built his whole kingdom on lies and empty promises. It was way cool.

Btw, I do a very good Harold Ziddler impersonation, and he's my fav Moulin Rouge character, so kudos to you!

--Harliq

This is beautiful! I love the way you bring more to a story, fleshing it out so its even better than before. Many fanfictions just write by continueing a story, making it more shallow. But you truly do tribute to the original.

It's interesting that Harold is central to the tragedy (as well as the comedy) of the film but is rarely central to fanfics, and certainly a Harold-centered fic has not been written in a long time. Bravo for taking on the subject then, and more kudos still for taking on themes that are too rarely glossed over or not even mentioned at all in these fics. You have not forgotten that this is a BROTHEL, and so you've depicted a world more in keeping with reality than Baz' film, and yet at the same time you've been very true to character.

If this isn't the first MR fic to explicitly take on race relations, then it's the first to my memory. Again, you have my respect - race was a very hot topic in this time period.

Your dialogues are wonderful here, they really bring the entire thing to life. "Sir, it was awful..." and I can hear Mome speaking. That entire bit of dialogue is pitch perfect. And Marie's remark about Nini, "a little bit more will be a bit too much", is truly chilling, in part because it feels so true to character and perfectly understated besides.

Sometimes the prose descriptions get a little melodramamtic and overheated - too many metaphors about martyrs and kingdoms and so forth, but the dialogue and the way you create a sense of the interrelationships of these people balances that. Your dialogue portions tend to be marvelously understated "If you say so, Harry" / "Of course I do".

And I know other people have tried to describe why Nini betrayed the lovers but few fics I've read have summed up the reasons for the rivalry - and Harold's role in it - as concisely, as well as being entirely plausible.

That was great! Not many people write about Zidler, and you managed to keep him very in character. I liked how he contemplated his broken promises to the girls. One or two typos, nothing too dramatic ('costumer' instead of 'customer'). Overall, very well done. I hope to see more of your works!