Great Story!!

hey i really liked your story... ok so i kinda got bored at the first part. but i have to admit that the way you ended it was really intresting. hey if you want you can come criticize my fic. i really dont mind it helps me become a better writer. anyway it was well planned out

Hey, Seru-chan.

Sorry for the late review. This chapter is good enough and there's only a very little typo in it. Don't worry about it.

Also, ignore the trolly-polly-olie annoynmous guy who flamed you for absolute no reason. His flame is mostly empty. Don't worry about it.

Just disable the annonymous review button and that's that. Also, I might send you a PM to block some of the bad people in this site.

Have fun writing.

Rozen

Now that was a great chapter. The battle scenes were awesome. And...Chico returns! XD Oh! And Riku taking up some training. He's gonna kick so much butt in the future, I just know it, because I'm psychic! XD

Is the next part going to take place a year after part 1? Just wanted to ask, but I'm sure that question will be answered in the first chapter, so don't answer that. Lol! Well, good luck with part 2. I've got to go finish up this chapter.

Oh!! And did you know you finished part 1 in exactly 2 months!?! You started it 6/19/07 and finished it 8/19/07. I find it weird. XD Later.

Backstage...

Xejicka: I hope those vids helped you out. An all girls band time, this will be great! I'm so hyper.

Thalkxene: Her writer's block is gone for now.

Xejicka: I never felt happier. I feel free. I loved this story and I'm sad that it's over. I'm writing as fast as I can. Ammi, you're going to be in more chapters than what I planned. I owe it to for keeping me in your story like this.

Jackie: Freedom! *gets showered with underwear* Gross.

Matt: Hey! *pulls out pair* Those are my mom's! *passes out*

Durus: Poor man never saw it coming.

DJ Alex: Nacht's plans are evil. He thinks he can get away with anything if he has a bountiful supply of red heads.

Thalkxene: They'll go extinct if we don't do something.

Durus: We could dye their hair black. Fate isn't too fond of them because she says they're everywhere.

Xejicka: Then we need some dye.

Thalkxene: I got this purple stuff. *pulls out bottle of purple dye*

Xejicka: What about those dyes that Sephiroth gave us in Hollow Bastion?

Thalkxene: Right here. *pulls out bag*

Jackie: Wootness, I loved this story. I can finally not wait in fear.

In the higher seats...

Fate: Reno, since you're untied, could you go get me some peanuts?

Reno: *runs away to never return*

Mysterious Asian Man: *in Japanese* You saw this coming a mile away.

Fate: Reno is running around out there naked, but I'm not worried. Nacht will be supplying me with a staedy supply of red heads, Reno will be in that group. I love having power.

Mysterious Asian Man: *in Japanese still* It will back fire if you remain dependant on these red headed sacrifices.

Riku action!! Lol! But Riku got owned... It just isn't his day!! That's it!! He's just off today!!

This chapter was awesome, and the next chapter will be even better. The final battle is underway!! Sora basically going through the KH series again! Lol! But he's more skillful now. By the way, you're doing a great job with part one. You're a really amazing writer.

Xejicka and Amaterasu are my most favorite characters. Xejicka has the little 'Mess with me, you get burned' attitude. Amaterasu is just plain awesome! I bet she's gonna kick Xauqa's butt! Of course, Sora is too, but it's basically gonna be Amaterasu. One more thing! What happened to Amaterasu's dog? The one that peed on Sora? That cracked me up!

Anyway, I can't wait to read the final chapter, and the sequal! Update soon! LaTeRzZ!

Ah, another great chapter. Sorry as I cannot review the last chapter because so many things happened. If you are interested in what I am through, you might as well tell my via PM. I will be happy to let you know about it.

For the story, the writing skills have been brushed up slowly. You are doing a good job in keeping the story interesting and the plot expanding slowly. A few typos and tense mistakes doesn't stop me from enjoying this story though, since no stories ever came out perfect. ;)

Oh, and for the Compass of Chaos and Order, I don't think there's a necessity for a data of it. For now you just have to know it's an artifact used to predict future, control events and time at the same time. It also grants the user to shift both history and future as well as present events into one at the same time, causing time distortion. That's that for you.

Until then, I will give more details about the Compass later on. Have fun writing.

Rozen

Thalkxene: At least there's a sequel soon.

Xejicka: I'm trying to write this chapter and it's hard. Damn you Vexen!

Jackie: Damn him indeed. How are we getting Matt up the stairs?

Durus: We'll carry him. *lifts part of the ice with help of Jackie* We can say we're ice delivery.

Matt: Reno can be the moogle jester.

Reno: Hey!

Xejicka: Nomura said in an interveiw that Ven has more connection to Roxas than he does to Sora, I hope that helps.

Thalkxene: You used the ripe age pretty well. We're glad that helped.

Fate: Ugh! That smell. It's so.. *passes out*

Matt: Great, another person is down. Can't we go a few hours without someone unconsious.

Reno: I feel so much safer, yo.

Durus: We have to find that wizard.

Xejicka: I have to write more! Those meds are evil because they took away anger, which is a wonderful fuel for writing fight scenes.

Thalkxene: Don't leave home without it kids.

Jackie: We loved your chapter. you know, since Xejicka is a girl...

Xejicka: Love triangle!

Wow!! Finally, I've read all the chapters!! I'm back on track now! Lol! Anyway, awesome chapters (8-11). You have great battle scenes, which include a great amount of detail and vocabulary. Hm...I've got a couple of questions!! Lol!

1.So was Ventus, or Ven, was Nusvext or something? Which would explain why Raxter is Terra and Xauqa is Aqua. To tell you the truth, it took me awhile to figure that out. I had to really think about the name 'Raxter' and 'Terra'. Then I thought about organization 13 and their names include the letter 'X'. I can't believe it took me that long!!

2.What's going to happen to Abedo? Is he gone for good?

3.This is kinda off topic, but where's the Riku action? Riku is like...the best in battles. I mean, Sora can be too, but Riku, he's like the... i can't even think of a good word for him. Yeah, I really need to increase my vocabulary.

4.So, you're splitting the sequal up into two parts, which is cool. I'm eager to find out what the second part is going to be about. But anyway, that's awesome. It's like the whole KH series over again, but better! The creators of KH should really make a game out of your story, it would be so amazing. Probably some hard boss battles, but so awesome, don't you think?

5.So, if Ames is like Amaterasu, does that make her a Soulless? And if she is in fact her Soulless, how'd she get created?

6.Okay, last question!! What was it again... oh, yeah. Is Ventus Sora's Soulless?

Okay, that's it for my review. It's basically a bunch of random stuff thrown together. Reading this makes me want to write, so I think I'll get to writing that new chapter. Update soon!

Hi, Selma-oneechan!

I guess I simply cannot stave myself off from reviewing your story after reading another update! Hehe!

Okay, on with the story!

Basically, I like the idea of using replicas to fight against the characters, which are generally fighting against your own shadow. Abedo did a good job in lashing himself though. I just hope everyone is going to do good.

Dark and Light are still...pretty shallow and I barely even know anything about them even after reading all 10 chapters! X_X

Maybe you could send me a PM about their descriptions so I may know them better?

There are still some new OCs that I can barely understand, so you may want to send their profiles as well. :) Sorry if I am troubling you.

May I add some more constructive critique on this one? There are some typos and mistakes on your writing. Definite no offence, Selme-oneechan, but as far as I am concerned, no stories ever came out perfect. But that's just human limitation, I guess.

I thank you for another great quality chapter. I al looking foward for your next update.

Yours Truly,

Aina Loneheart.

Sorry, I am so late to reply. There you go again, another detailed chapter.

The plotholes are slowly closing up, that's a good thing you finally paying attention to "Someone" out there who reminded you.

Then again, I hope to know more about the way you are using "The Compass of Chaos and Order" since you are barely using it even now. Thanks a lot for putting me credits if you are using my element. :D

Oh, and I hope you are nice to Aina as well. She's a 10 year old but she can really write well. Thanks a bunch for welcoming her!

Best Regards,

Rozen

Xejicka: I love the fruit jokes *eats a banana*

Matt: I hate them *attempts to stab Xejicka with a banana, all he does is ruin her shirt though*

Xejicka: Hey, I liked that shirt! Wonderful chapter. I found out the secret identities of- *gets tackled*

Matt: Shuddup!

Xejicka: Poor Abedo, I hope things go alright. i love the manga bits! The chicken they were eating is Nomura fried chicken!

Matt: Now there's something that's funny.

Xejicka: Awh! Nice chapter.

Jackie: I love hearing my name and I love the possibilities that a man named Terra/Raxter and I could be friends.

Xejicka: Where did you come from?!

Jackie: Vexen gave me a break. I even got a souveneir! *waves picture of Brad Pitt's butt*

Xejicka: I chakramed someone. That's awesome. Heh heh, fruits. I wonder what would happen if Xejicka met Axel.

Axel: Doppleganger.

Jackie: That's what would happen. *starts looking a picture hungrily*

Xejicka: Uh, your eyes are turning yellow.

Jackie: I don't care.

5 minutes later...

Xejicka: Run away from the berserker! *runs*

Jackie: Give me back that picture! *Looks like berserker*

Xejicka: Never!

Hello, Selma-oneechan.

I heard from onichan (Rozen) said that your story is really good and well written. So I thought I may came and take a look. As I read through your story, I was so happy that this story struck my heart with your beautiful writing skills.

Everything is described well and detailed. I am truly amazed. I am also surprised that other players from The World Online Game (Seth, Haruhi-oneechan, and more) actually reviewed this story as well. That must be the meaning of you being a really well-known person of onichan. ^^

But mind if I add some critique in it? There are some tense errors and typos when I am reading from chapter 1 to 9. Really, it's amazing that I found less than 20 of them for something written over 30,0 words.

The prose is going smooth and nothing is rushed at all, I enjoy slow storylines as I wouldn't desire a quick ending story. But you kind of lost me with the main plotline of Kingdom Hearts. Basically, the stars of the game King Mickey, Donald, Goofy and most of all, Sora needs to have a really major role to make this story a successful blast. Just admire their characters and blend it with your own characters, mix their relationships which could impress the fans, and go with a huge blast of wind of creativity!

Trust me, it's not as hard as you think. I may be young, but I know a lot of Kingdom Hearts because I am playing that game as well. I heard you are using onichan's element, The Compass of Chaos and Order, well I wish you luck in using that.

I will try my best to find some fresh ideas for you if you are dried-out. So don't worry! ;)

Best regards and happy writing,

Aina Loneheart (Rozen's adopted yonger sister, technically; but I don't think I need to mention that since you are not really curious about me anyway.)

X_X

P.S: Onichan said to send his greetings to you, Seru-kun. :D

Great chapter!! I know if Light and Dark use their Keyblades, the Heartless we'll find them, but how come the Enigmatic figure can use his? And Ames seems very familiar... Lol! Can't wait for your next chapter!! ...wait, it's already up! I better get to reading then. LaTeRz!