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| xtreblemakerx 2008-04-04 ch 1,  | abuseMarcus Agrippa: Octavian’s Weapon By Kaila Gilbert Intro If you’ve ever been to Rome, you may have had the pleasure of visiting some exquisitely executed Roman baths. While strolling down the immaculate streets, you may have caught sight of a ruins of towering aqueducts. You’d notice several gardens and poricos, and enjoy vibrant Through his incomparably superior military prowess, lasting architectural contributions to the Roman Republic, and devotion to the common good, it comes as no surprise that Agrippa was the best thing that ever happened to Rome. |
| storiewriter 2007-10-02 ch 2, anon. | abuseOne point- Go to the next line (enter it) every time a new person speaks. Example (from your text). ~ "That is a Cleaner." an unfamiliar voice behind us said. We spun around, and there, in the middle of the doorway, an old man with a key around his neck and a journal in his hand. "Now, isn't it a little late for you two kids to be out of bed?" He asked jokingly. "We had an appointment for her father, but he couldn't make it earlier, so we came instead." Ben said, holding a piece of paper in his hand. ~ You did have some grammical mistakes, but they are minor. You have a good skeleton going, it just needs some fleshing out. Otherwise, awesome job! I'm sorry for not reviewing more quickly, but you've done well. Good job. I'll review you later! |
| LuvsSpunkRansom 2007-08-28 ch 2, | abuseWow, I thought you were on my alert list but aparently not. It's getting a lot scarier, I definately want to read more! I think you need to work on your paragraphes a little more, but other than that it's great! |
| Someone 2007-08-26 ch 2, anon. | abuseHey, This is really good! Continue to write, and try to make your chapters longer. Anyway its REALLY good. |
| extra short 2007-07-26 ch 1, | abusehey dude! 'sup? just callin to say that this is so cool! i mean, you've got the first fic on this page! wow, you rock! eh...sorry. i haven't read this book. i was just goin onto AF and i seen that this catergory only had 1 fic! sayonara, extra bored |
| storiewriter 2007-07-11 ch 1, anon. | abuseGood job! Yea Atherton! Just read the book yesterday. Few grammical mistakes that you probably could fix easily, but that is basically all. |
| TayliaNinja 2007-07-08 ch 1, | abusenice work |
| LuvsSpunkRansom 2007-07-03 ch 1, | abuseCool! I'll be watching to find out more, this is really good. Oh, yea and I also like your name, it is so true. |
| vn 2007-06-25 ch 1, anon. | abusepretty good...NOT! JK IT'S actually really great i recommend this to everyone who likes a mixed story of tragedy, science fiction, and kind of serious story. |
| you know me. 2007-06-22 ch 1, anon. | abusehi. nice fic. keep the chappies coming, though do a grammatic sweep. other than that, it's perfect. so. . . update. |
| pepperandsam 2007-06-21 ch 1, | abuseAs the author of Atherton, I'm intrigued by where you might take this idea. I'd like to hear more about what the Dark Planet looks like. Did Dr. Harding leave any creatures behind that need be avoided? Is it dangerous? And how will these two re-connect with Atherton (or will they?) - Great beginning! Keep the chapters coming! PC |