I've loved this story ever since I first read it a few years ago. I was very sad to see that the brandimore site had gone *poof*, but then I found you here on , so that kind of makes up for things!

Some of the transitions were a bit abrupt and awkward. For example, Lina is about to fireball Zel in the countryside, and then with no transition, she's suddenly walking into a sitting room back in the palace. Some of the POV shifts were also abrupt and could use a stronger clue that we're now in someone else's head (I'm actually against moving between POVs in the same scene, but I know some people like doing it . . .)

Oh man this story gave me headaches, I har a very hard time until I finally understood it.
But now that I did there are some things I have to say.
First of all Gourry and Amelia are OOC. I see the idea behind it but I seriously doubt that the two would do some teenage flirting just because Zel and Lina won´t admit their feelings soon.
And Gourry was a bit too clever in this story.
I know it sounds bad but I am not saying your story is soo bad it is just very hard to understand.

Wow! That was brilliant. It was definately a LG ZA without their being any direct acknowledgement from either L or Z. It sort of teased and retained its energy right till the end. The scandalous books were very neat, and the little innuendos G and A played with. Gourry was slightly out of character as possibly the cleverest character in the piece, but it didn't lessen the quality of the fic, it added to it. Made it more exciting and interesting. It was good to see him tell her what other people would think, as people usually forget how odd they'd look travelling together while they're suspending their disbelief.

I... I'm not quite sure what to think about this fic.
Gourry seemed sort of OOC to me. While I do believe that he's not nearly as idiotic as he might seem on the surface, I still think this is stretching it a bit. I have a lot of difficulty seeing Gourry... scheme in this way. Though I s'pose it would have been difficult to write this fic otherwise.
Still, overall, I really enjoyed reading it, partly because it's very very different from all the other trad fics I've read. Refreshing, in a way. Kudos for originality. Can't wait to read some of your other works.

I can't believe you're finally posting on For years, this has been one of my favorite, if not my favorite, Slayers story. I'm particularly fond of the way you write Gourry. I find it that too often writers dumb him down to the point where I wonder how he's able to walk let alone use a sword. You've given the character depth, and in so opened my eyes to the lack of well written stories floating around. I hope that your posting now means you'll be writing more in the future. Keep up the wonderful work.

This was really interesting. I really liked the way you portrayed Gourry.

Well done! I really enjoyed this story and this was a very original idea. I think my favorite part of this story was how Gourry was protrayed. The guy is a lot smarter than people give him credit for. ^_^

That was one of the single best Slayers fics I've ever read. It's really nice to read something where Gourry isn't a total moron. Are you going to do a second chapter at all? Because I think Gourry needs to have a serious talk with Amelia and Zelgadiss, LOL! Although I don't think Phil would like it at all if he heard of his little girl pouncing on Zelgadiss out of sexual frustration.

E! Jessie! I'm so glad you posted this here! It is one of the most thoughtful fanfics around and has many humorous elements at the same time. I hope you post the others that can be posted here and maybe finish or start others?

Oh, hey! You posted this here! I was only looking at this yesterday morning - I know about your work through Kaitrin.


I love this story, think it really captures the characters of the four, makes them more like real people, and you portray the tension beautifully.


*winks* Post 'Chaperones' next, yes?

I wound up liking this story a lot. It's quite a different take on things and I had to decide my view on Gourry. Very in line with his character in the novels, so he wasn't out of character to me. I could easily picture Gourry and Amelia deciding to do this in order to force Lina and Zelgadiss to realize their respective feelings. Even though you don't outright mention that possibility, I could see them both doing that. The sexual tension between Lina and Gourry throughout the story was simply amazing and I could see why he just kissed her on the cheek - the way things were escalating, they would had really given the maid, Zel and everyone else something to talk about! This really was quite lovely and I can't wait to see more stories from you.