i love that. people see nightwatcher, the absolute scum of human beings that Raph has killed and killed, and who would look past judgement and morals and laws and religious belief bullshit to even glimpse the fact that he's a hero? and not for those acts, necessarily, but maybe despite them? not many sadly. but it's beautful that mikey remembers.
great fic.

beautiful. i'm so glad they finally came to that understanding; silly boys.

so sad. that people would give up hope and write off a person for dead for their own sake. to think that it's better that a loved one is dead, then to have faith and hope just cuz it wears on you is just so utterly selfish. but so many people do it. and it's not fair when there are others who really do loose someone, and would give ANYTHING, wait a freakin' eternity for the chance that they are alive and okay. are there really people like that? people who love like that anymore? everyone deserves someone who'll never give up on them, let alone for their own sake.
i'm glad you addressed Donnie. silly boy, you get a second chance you do things differently. you hold onto it. follow him if you have to, foolish turtle. don't resign yourself to heartache.

huh. casey had a daughter with someone else? really?
it's a small part of the story, i know. but i find it so...sad, when a mother dies in childbirth and the dad takes the baby and goes and marries someone else right after. like, "thanks for the kid, but i need other romantic attachment in my life now you're gone"
not everyone does, of course. but it's such an intense thing, looking forward to a baby with someone you love, and then to even think they'll be taking care of it with another woman just cuz you died...sorta heartbreaking, even if you want them to be happy. (not that replacing you is the only way to do so) ~shrugs~ some people just can't deal with being alone, or with grief. others love far beyond death, instead of running to the ex-girlfriend. some loyalties are beyond death i guess, whereas others cut off completely. depends of the person i suppose, and the depth of the relationship.
other than that, the fic is great. i'm glad you addressed that Don still has issues. his 'reunion' with raph would have been a bit dissappointing otherwise.

I adore this story. It's so...So...(AGH!) There's just so much to say and I am having trouble finding good words for it right now (algebra fries my brain at the moment, need I say more?).

There's so much thoughtfulness, and eagerness, and kindness and GOD I love that angst, it's so amazingly written. You've kept everyone so amazingly in character but matured and developed them perfectly suiting everything that's happened so far.

I especially love Mikey's views on Raph and his brothers. It's mind-blowing to see him be mature enough to let go of those ten years and just take what they have. And when Donnie confronts Raph in those tunnels, sounding so sad and resigned, I almost couldn't keep reading. Raph knows how much pain he's caused and is about to cause, but he also can't stop himself.

I loved how he asked for permission to come home, you know, like Donnie was the only one who could really tell him. I guess he WAS the only one who could tell him, in a way, because everyone else was all forgiving. And the interactions with Leo are amazing. How much he worries and empathizes, and all the conflicting feelings! I mean, come on! "We've waited." That's just the best.

And RAPH! Oh my god, RAPH! I loved it, how he left, and how he called, and how he cried and how he's all hyper-aware and paranoid! I've always loved jumpy, skilled, paranoid Raphaels in stories.

In short, you've got everyone down perfectly. Vulnerable, but not too sappy, and afraid but not really admitting that they are. This story is so sweet and suspenseful, and I can't wait until you post more. Keep it going!

M, it's at the beginning of this chapter where we realise that Raph hasn't just been settling in nice and quietly for the past month back in his old home. The sneaky turtle.

(Also: the phrase "a herd of Michelangelos" = cute).

You make a very nice link here between Raph and the 'runaways', families with missing members. It's like no matter how far or fast Raph runs to escape his family, he can't help his obsession with it, with protecting it.

And then, the confrontation with Don! God, it's perfect. And the reader really can't say for sure whether Raph will be back the next day. And Don is so -sad-, it's heartbreaking.

This is a great part of the story to leave Review #100 on, because it's truly impressive :D

(Yes, I'm still at it!)

I really like Mother!April in this chapter. The idea of bribing Raph with a cookie is just precious :D

I also liked the conversation between Leo and April - you let us see a bit of Leo's vulnerability, how he's just desperate to do something useful but doesn't really know what he can do. And he misses the Raph he used to know...

I've been looking forward to re-reading this bit!

I think you and Aub write really well together - her flashbacks fit in seamlessly with the whole.

Loving the angst ;)

And here we have some nice insight into what's going on in Don's brain... I like 'cynical' Don, it suits him, but makes you feel bad for him at the same time. Especially with the whole guilt thing.

The little teasers in the flashbacks are a great touch. I remember reading through this fic for the first time and just -dying- to finish this scene.

I also just noticed how the last line of this chapter ties in with the fic title. Neat! :D

The flashback scene where Raph calls the Lair from a payphone and hears Don's voice? Yeah, I think I can feel my heart breaking a little every time I read it.

The 'drunken' writing style is very cool, almost reminds me of Alice in Wonderland (I think it's the snickering trees, lol).

It's a relief to read, at the end of this chapter, that Raph wants to stay. I don't think I could bear it if I knew he was planning to finish up his business in New York and then run off again.

Oh, and you get bonus points for Splinter-interaction! I swear, I have no clue how to write that rat O_o

CASEY! Yay, I'd forgotten this bit.

"Life, he supposed, was just a finicky bitch like that." - This is GOLD.

Raph just staring at the photo album makes me think that he's just beginning to realise everything he's missed while he's been gone.

Oh, but I love how you incorporate humour into such an intense, emotional story. And the way you work the flash-backs in, too. It all fits together so well.

Oh, oh! And the way you write Casey and Raph's friendship is just...!! *flails arms* (I'm a closet Casey fan)

I think it's great how you let signs of the brothers' maturity show through here - as a group and as individuals. Particularly Mikey:
"...one of the many lessons he had learned from this whole painful mess was that sometimes his brothers not only disagreed with him but had different ways of doing things. They might have been close, but they weren't the same person. So in those cases, the best thing to do was just smile, nod, and trust your brother. That was it."

I always thought Mikey had the capacity for this kind of innocent wisdom. And I enjoyed reading his great insight into his brothers - in a way he's become more mature than any of them.

The part after the flash-back has just induced another plot-bunny to bite me. Argh.

And finally, a nice segue into the next chapter!

I still love this story. Please write more! ^_^ The flashbacks are absolutely wonderful. That one scene shows how Raph really is a hero. It's sweet.

Dear GAWD woman! This chapter had me between smiles and tears, pain and elation! i LOVED the flash back to when they were young. the way mike looked at raph and the bro who always complained and was rude, but ALWAYS helped him out. and in that moment when he walked away and the awe and the beginnings of hero worship. wow! Cause what you said was true.. leo was never scared of anything, splinter's only fear was for his children, and don was just to practical to be scared. raph was scared but true bravery and heroism is to go forth despite that crippling fear.

awesomeness, especially since im locked here too terrified to leave this particular room cause of a hornet im too scared to kill...sorry...no heroism from me.

AND RAPH LAUGHED! I stood up and jumped my 27 year old ass off the seat and whooped in joy! genetically modified corn, LOL. only mike's humor could get raph's laughter back! i loved this! im glad i waited to read it cause last night was Not A Good Time.

but yea!! more... pwease...

Tri

Oh, the opening of this chap is just -cute-. The little bit of light-heartedness is nice afer the emotional stuff of the previous installments.

The fact that Raph's still "waiting for someone to pull the rug out from underneath him" makes me sad... Ah, but now I remember one of my favourite things about this story: Raph's thoughts on coming back home after ten years. The couch being the same. And in particular, Raph's description of his room, and his old possessions. This is where I really start to get a sense of all the elapsed time behind the story.

On to the flashback to Raph first entering the lair... I have to admit, the first time I read this fic, in the earlier chapters I was kind of put off by Don. But when I found out the backstory, it all fit into place perfectly.

Lastly: Love Raph's degenerated social skills! He's so -awkward-, it reveals the kind of life he's lived for the past decade.