I enjoyed the introspective of Kuwabara and Yukina.
There are times when an insightful (is that really a word?) ficlet is better than a multi-chapter action story.

FINALLY. I am here. Enough chit-chat; onwards! Although I have read this one ahead because, hello, KURAMA and SHIORI goodness and Adi waits for no politeness. Still, now I can do the Right Thing and review.

“Kurama couldn’t sleep.”
- Love for this as a nice sort of opening line, and because it pretty much puts him in bed and then with the grass… expectations, the upsetting of. Yers.

“He had been running since school ended that day, so he had gotten far enough away that the stars were clear in the sky and he could only smell the lingering presence of humans.”
- Because all this from a ten-year-old… I keep picturing him from those flashbacks and it’s immensely disorienting to pair that with all this inside stuff. Plus all the references to “the child” and “this body” and all… it’s so dispassionate and disconnected, especially as they’re invariably derogatory, and knowing how this is going to end it’s so deliciously ironic. Kind of gives it a desperate air. ‘I will NOT get used to this. This is BAD, remember, me?’

“ So he had camped out in the field, listening to the grass rustle in the night, wishing his powers had returned enough that he could feel the plant life just by lying there.”
- Lonely, he is so lonely, he has no plantlife, to call his own. No seriously, I couldn’t resist that but it is a lonely sort of feeling. More powerlessness really, but I still get dragged into the loneliness thing. I mean, ten years with no one who even remotely understands him…

“His human spirit dulled the elation the fox should have felt at being so close to nature and freedom again.”
- Oh, the creature comforts.

“Another part whispered that if he simply went back, there would be no need for the uneasy feelings to chase him.”
- M~m. I just like that. It’s a good solution, and not one characters tend to come up with until far later on…

“He glanced at one of the fresher ones on the back of his hand, feeling it smart as he licked it.”
- Because, cuts have References in them… and most of all the licking.

“Shiori’s smiling face, asking if he was alright, as if the blood dripping down her arms didn’t exist.”
- Mm… something about her ignoring it, when it becomes… well, everything. Pretty crucial juncture of his life.

Kuronue’s face, Kuronue’s blood, Kuronue telling him to run as if it didn’t matter.”
- Jwee, because I so did not see that coming the first time, have never thought of it, never seen it anywhere… and it makes such perfect sense.

“Shuuichi’s body was only that of a ten-year-old child’s; it didn’t handle the mental anguish well.”
- Because it all comes back to that, sort of thing. Bodies and brains and minds and souls all mixed up, and Shuuchi-part “letting down” Kurama-part…

“He couldn’t escape, and he didn’t know why.”
- That, and the ‘pathetic and broken’ part - it’s the same sort of thing as “Yadonushi” only without being scary - just frustrating and sad. This thing you do, reconfiguring so things that are good from the average show perspective become bad. Rather Whedonish, in a way, something about giving people what they think they want just so they can see how wrong they are.

Whooyayz. I don’t see much of these two just sort of, you know, focused on them, so this… mm. Right now I’m thinking it’ll be relaxing and stuff, just because their relationship is relatively simple [in that it’s actually defined on the show], but I suppose a few seconds in you’ll have found all the cracks, frozen them, thawed them out, and they’ll be that much more apparent…

“If only I had been more responsible.”
- …Beg pardon?

“The outcome didn’t appeal enough to make the effort worthwhile.”
- There’s some pure Yuusuke for ya. I like that. He’s weighed the whole responsible thing and it has been found lacking. Nothing personal, not a for-irresponsibility’s-own-sake, just not worth it. Gives him more credit.

“But while he didn’t intend to convert his behavior to a model citizenship—or even a simply decent one…”
- Snerk.

“If only I had ditched class like I always did. If only I had blown off Takenaka and skipped out like every other day I come to school.”
- Coming back and grabbing this now I understand it, because once again everything is set up so beautifully.

“But because Keiko was throwing a hissy fit, Yuusuke had abandoned her. Following a school rule he didn’t give a damn about hadn’t been responsible.”
- Ahh, I see, I see. And oh for the whole irony thing… so convoluted, one must love it. [Plus by now I can place it timeline-wise, which helps.]

“Like any sensible person, he had immediately panicked, nearly dropped her, and studiously poked and prodded the anomaly to ensure it was not the third eye returning.”
- Because everything behind it is really truly awful, but this right here is just snarkalicious, which is confusing for poor Adi’s emotions and thus wonderful.

“… and felt guilty that even now he still didn’t feel like bothering to try.”
- Oh catch 22.

“What would he have to lose in order to get it through his thick head that if he wanted to protect the people close to him, if he wanted to make them his number one priority, he had to act like it?”
- Because it’s lovely and true and reminds me of the one good part of some otherwise horribly lame movie, where Paternal Dude is, ‘Stop saying that! Every idiot in the world says he loves someone. It’s how you treat the people that you claim to love. THAT’S what matters, the only thing that counts.’

“But even then, he still promptly forgot his misgivings again, the same way he never remembered the fine scar on Keiko’s forehead until he had come too close to pull back.”
- He’s still Yuusuke, still going to put up his favorite cement walls between himself and anything he doesn’t like, and… pure love for that last bit about being too close to pull away by the time he remembers. For the physical implications and the symbolic ones. Love.

Mine is an evil laugh, for there is more Yukina, even if you are mean and there is no chance it will be Happy.

“Kazuma-san? You’re staring.”
- Welcome to Kuwabara’s world when Yukina is around. It’s small and girl-shaped.

Oh lordy-loo, that’s the best way for making a sand-castle ever. I, to quote Jafar, love the way your foul little mind works.

Aw~w. Kuwabara is Noble and does not stare at bosoms. Also, I was just thinking of what would have happened if they had come, Keiko and Yusuke. It’s odd, how a double date would have made things so much LESS romantic. Pervert!Yuusuke would ruin everything. I trail on and find humor, I admit it. Stalling. Things are going to get Not Happy.

“… her hands flitting like her favorite little white birds as she shored up the sides and traced intricate towers with icy roofs.”
- Just because it’s pretty.

Good, good, sunscreen - Em would be proud. Also, “their spot.” So cute.

“…he, the great Kuwabara Kazuma, would make Yukina the finest sandcastle known to man, using only a flimsy bucket and his bare hands. As he watched her, though, he had to admit that her method worked much better.”
- Because it’s so adorable and him, and also don’t we love a man who knows when his girlfriend is a better constructionist… which conjures a strangely appealing image of Yukina in a bathing suit and yellow hard-hat…

“He hadn’t meant to stare, but it had surprised him, even though it shouldn’t have, which startled and upset him even further.”
- Going back and pulling this now I know what it’s referring to, because it makes everything fall so into place… you are the master of timeline-stuff. Like, when to say what so that the whole thing fits just right at the end and you can look back and trace the road you were on…

“He couldn’t forget, couldn’t forgive Tarukane for what that bastard had done to Yukina.”
- Uhn. I… actually tend to forget about that too. Willfully. And Tugoro… ick. Mnah.
“Yukina waved a cheerful hand at him, giving him another glimpse of a pale forearm marred from burns.”
- Yur…. she would have scars, wouldn’t she. Why has this not occurred to me? Any of this.

“… so talented and modest…”
- And such a Kuwabara thought. Pinky string of love is all.

“Still, he would never be able to forget or forgive that her first memory of humans would always be of Tarukane.”
- Right after all how noble she is… and brings to mind all the times Hiei’s like ‘poo on humans’ and I hadn’t really thought at all about Yukina sharing his sentiments. I mean, obviously she doesn’t, exactly, but that she really has way more REASON to them is… interesting.

All right, love. All with the build-up of him staring and then just leaving out what at aside from some elimination, and… just the concept. You are rapidly turning Yukina into not just a Good Character but a Top Favorite, up with Kurama.

o.o! This is phenomenal. I love you.

I like that you consider Kurama's childlike human form in this situation: how he makes himself sick because the physical hasn't caught up to the mental, how he can't see so weel at night. I also like how he can't sense the plantlife to the extent he wants to.

The association between Shiori's blood and wanting to run with Kuronue's death was subtle but powerful. I really liked this drabble.

Reading this whole thing gave me chills...it's all so incongruous, torment like this, but yet through the mind of a ten-year-old.

And, having all the horrible thoughts start from looking at the scratch...it was a perfect little segue. I don't know exactly what it was about it, but it was seamless and wonderful.

The mental pictures this gives are so wrenching...little boy tossing and turning in the grass.

As usual, your last line is perfect...puts all the tortured night of thinking into one little shell, and then lobs said shell right at us. It gets the whole fic, right there...and almost makes me feel restless just reading it.

This is so much love...really really really.

TTFN

Katia-chan

Ah--the exact moment when Kurama realizes how neatly he's trapped. :) Wonderful.

*nods head in approvement* I was wondering what you would do for the Yusuke and keiko one, and I must say that I do approve! Very well thought out (though I don't like it as much as the Kuwa/Yukina one...they're so cute) and very well delievered!

Interesting. I'd never thought about Keiko having a scar from this incident--though I often wonder if anyone ever fills her in on it having happened, since they wiped her memory. I can just see Hiei saying something casually someday along the lines of I'll kidnap you again if you don't shut up, and Keiko going "Wha?" *Loved* the line about her having put on a few pounds since the last time he rescued her. It's exactly the sort of thing Yusuke would say.

I really, really like these. I'm definitely going to come back for more. I enjoy the way you take character angles that others don't really bother to explore, and write them simply and without pretense, exactly as the characters would have experienced them.

Last line was very chilling, somehow. :) I love the contrast between her "perfect" skin and the scars, and how poor Kuwabara is so jarred. And I'm very very much looking forward to the next two... all the relationships you've selected are cool, and scars are just... well, cooler. :)

Very nice. Another good Yukina Kuwabara. Very cute and tocuhing. I'm looking forward for the others

This is sort of sad...but I like it. I can't wait for you to continue with the other ones, this is a really good idea. And the sand castle thing is adorable.

Ok, first props go to your descriptiveness...it was wonderful. You really painted the scene and the atmosphere well.

And...waah. This kind of makes me want to cry, but it's beautiful...and I dun know what I wanna do anymore. It's touching, and it really goes straight for the heart of the matter.

I really love it when you do Kuwa/Yukina stuff. You're so good at it.

TTFN

Katia-chan