Hi. A few comments:

I think the description on overall is pretty good; maybe you could lay off a bit for the description next time? Too much of it is not good either.

Please sort out your paragraphing, much as I doubt you even have any. You're not making it easy for a reader to read and comprehend what you're trying to say when it's just one big chunk like that. Imagine it just hitting you in the face like that. Would you want to read it?

Also, punctuation. I notice that even though you have commas here and there, your use of them is not consistent. When you need to use it here, you don't. When you need to use it there, you do. So again, it's not very reader-friendly in that sense.

I hope that my comments have been useful. Good luck with your further stories! :)

Why can't you not like this Akira? I love Digimon now (thanks to your damn little sister.. OHHHHH I COULD JUST RING HER F*CKING NECK SOMETIMES! )hEHEHEhehEHehHHeHeheeheHHheh. i HAD TO SORRY.

Wow! That was so cool! Not only are you a great poet! Your a great author! Man oh man that was so cool...it's so good i can't honestly help you with it...had so much talent in it! Keep this up! Write it the way you want it to end up...well see ya! We'll meet another day...

it sucks that your parents won't let you give out your e-mail - you could get one of those free hotmail accounts, you know?

J

Please read and review my works! :)

You ever gonna release something else,tad pole?

Yep,I loved it..Im going to send one off soon,so good job..Im sure you know who I am . Which is even better..Good Job!

I'm so sorry if I confuse anybody . It is hard to type with this format . Well if you are not fimilar with digimon the boy is Matt. The girl is my own character .

UM THAT WAS JUST PLAIN CONFUSING! YOU NEED TO MAKE SEPERATE PARAGRAPHS PLEASE!

Your fic is pretty confuising...sorry but is the truth. When I was reading I noticed that when it suppose you are talking about him then you start talking as him was a female. Is hard to know who is talking or thinking. I mean...I can't reconize about who is this fic...but in the other hand I think is cool. _