As I said before, it's easy to overlook that Akito must die early yet hard to forgive his unjustified actions towards others. Had the parents been adopted into the anime, the early death of his father Akira and the callous attitude of his mother Ren would further explain the guy's condition. I wouldn't doubt it.

I see how that line would inspire something like this. It isn't bad, but it is a bit morbid. But there's nothing wrong with a little morbid thinking here and there :P

Sanrio-chan

Oh, my own… if we understood why your whims went into your head, we’d be rich and powerful because we would understand those Mysterious Ways You work in.

“Lying on the floor, staring at nothing – well, technically the ceiling, but it doesn’t have anything helpful to add to the situation.”

- For the… the pattern, sort of, “staring at nothing”, just statements of the scant bit of the world worth describing, and then the snark of unhelpful ceiling… love.

“Lying there, arms out and legs wide and my entire body limp, staring at nothing.”

- And now a definite pattern of repetition for at least that part, which makes me insanely happy. A flow, the kind of circuit you get in when you’re bored, or, for example, waiting.

“…no stabbing pain in my muscles and just under my arms and slanting just perfectly so that it feels like my heart has become a sieve.”

- Oh the love. Denial is always… so Akito. And something about that heart-sieve part. Love, love, love. This is a wonderful imaga-thing.

“And then the pain passes and there really is nothing, just floating and the pain has stopped…”

- Something about going from ‘I’m NOT feeling anything’ to ‘…Oh now I’m really not.’

“If the last was bearable, the next will be. No, not the fear that the pain will come again.

The fear that the pain is gone forever.”

- Especially the first sentence, which is beautiful. Special. The dismissiveness of it… and I get it, in a way. Some part of me, some part of it. They match up.

“Nothing, nothing, forever and ever nothing.”

- This, and the prospect of it being brought on by a lack of pain. It’s so horribly, horribly bleak. Alternatives…

“It lasts forever, the waiting. No joy in it. No sadness, either.”

- And then the three-liner follow. So matter-of-fact, not because it’s not terrifying but because there’s only so much fear left for this itself. Something so detached about it, and so completely submersed at the same time.

“There is death in those seconds, waiting to see whether the world has died this time.”

- Now that is just a plain beautiful sentence.

“Waiting for my life to end.”

- Just the ending. Not good or bad, but an end. Maybe a relief, maybe a letdown, but over all… endings.

“And then, just when it’s done and the fear can be given up and there’s really, really going to be nothing…”

- Because I do know from that. Rather hate you for reminding me, but then you are so good at the calling up of emotions I don’t what I expected. You would come round to this one eventually. [Inasmuch as a lack is an emotion…]

“But I’m not dead yet.

Not until the pain stops forever.”

- Oh the circle. Next time. Tomorrow and tomorrow. And god, Akito, sweetie, find something else to define Life with, you poor baby. Damnit.

This was really dark... a perfect view on Akito.