No Jimmy, don't do it!

Sorry this is so late, I was out of town when you posted, then school started and I wasn't able to review right away, though I did read. It was another great chapter and well worth the wait...even though you had Jimmy ignore Ashley's call. Stupid boy.

Can't wait for the next update,
Twinkle

Oh, I love the intenseness and the drama! I think Sasha is a great OC - not Mary Sue at all. :)
Keep it up with your super-awesome writing! :)

This is really great so far! I'm glad you're delving into more of Jimmy's family (as we only see his dad on the show).
Keep up your awesome writing! :)

Great story so far! It's great to see Jimmy out of his environment and all the obstacles, both literal and figurative that he faces. I'm excited to learn more about Aunt Jackie and the cousins. I don't think I've ever read your work before, so this is definitely a treat to find new authors out there. Keep up the great work!

Sunshyne08, u finally came back! Your chapter was so awesome I can not wait for the introduction of Jimmy's cousin's. Update when u can and when u do I will be right here reading it.

SunShyne08, where have u been. I have been waiting for you to update this story for awhile now. I guess you have been real busy these days. I hope that you will continue this story sometime in the near future.

Good set up chap., looking so forward to see where the story goes, now that the Brooks' actually got Jimmy to Tennessee. Keep up the good work!

BTW...thanks for the awesome compliments in you pm...I really appreciate it.

Oh I love it! Very well written and so very glad that you updated! I could've sworn I was reading one of TwinkleToesToo's stories! Great job! You're definately following in her footsteps...trust me that's a major compliment!

Keep up the great work and I can't wait to see what else you have in store!

Story: 7.25/10. Your pacing is good and you have some pretty interesting ideas, but I think that the story in general feels a little predictable.

Characters: 6.75/10. Jimmy and Ashley both seem fairly IC, though I wish there more conflicts between the both of them and between them and Jimmy's parents. There characterizations don't seem to expand them much either -- just conform with what we already know.

Creativity: 5.5/10. Most of the events are pretty well the first things that would come to mind when trying to write a JimAsh fic, though I don't know how it fits in with other stories of the type.

Writing: 6.25/10. Your writing is mostly correct, though I think that you need to use more description and much of your dialogue sounds forced. Also, the formatting on Chapter 3 is messed up, making it hard to read.

Believability: 8.25/10. I think that you portray the situation more or less believably and realistically, though this is made easier by the fact that you don't take a huge number of risks.

Overall: 6.75/10. You are a fairly good writer and seem to have a decent grasp of character, but the story needs more to set it apart.

Ooh, I like it a lot so far. And here are my ideas for why Jimmy is suddenly a bit upset -

How will he dance at the wedding?
Or will he be able to get a date? (of course he will!)

I'm guessing the first, but I dunno.

Once again another great chapter! I'm really looking forward to the next one. I'm interested to see what you do with jimash and how you handle the whole travel thing! Keep writing! :)

I love this story Jimmy and Ashley are one of my favorite couples.

Excellent! Yay, they're officially a couple.

I really like incorporating Jimmy's parents into my stories because they(especially his mom) get so little air time. You did a really good job with them, nice characterization.

Hmm, something about the upcoming trip is bothering Jimmy...can't wait to find out what it is...so update soon!

Like others said, "You went there."

I've had that happen with a friend and it pisses me off. I'll generally walk away leaving the "offender" to be embarrassed. Once I was out computer shopping with "the boy" and the sales person talked to me... first of all? Me? Not graphic designer/web guru/film dude... 2nd of all? Not a Mac user.

In general I'd just wander off. *nose in the air and I hope he didn't notice. ;)*

Excellent job. Very in character and great dialog. I look forward to seeing more.

Great minds think alike, eh? I have a scenario like this set to play out in the next chapter of one of my fics(I'll tweek it a little, so it won't be so similar)...and I loved how you portrayed it,Jimmy's anger, Ashley's shock...perfect.


This chapter was awesome, can't wait for another update!