Please write some more soon! I really like the plot line of your story and can't wait to see where you take it next.

drat, chap 4 ain't uop yet.
that's a ruddy shame!
oh well nicely done, i think i'm gonna reread it though because i don' remember who the hell Hrist is.

its about time you got this going again!!

anyway all seems to be in order character wise...i get the feeling that cloud and tifa would have probably been close as children and their reunion would have probably been a little more emotional...and Tifa probably would have had Jessie cover for her at the bar (because i have no doubt that she could) and spent at least a little while catching up with cloud.

Theres two things i see that really stand out

one is your word choice in your dialouge. you need to make it sound like people actually talk. for example instead of barret saying "We plan to blow up the Mako Reactors one by one" he would say something like "We gunna blow the hell out of all those damned mako reactors!" things like that...also Tifa is not prone to outbursts when things dont go her way...in the game she believed that cloud was lying nearly entirely about his own part in the nibelheim bbq because he said he was the SOLDIER there while it was zack and cloud hid in shame from his hometown. She didnt say a word about it until she had to because she didnt understand why he knew about it when he wasnt there (she wasnt sure that it was him or she just thought it was when he helped her in the reactor) she didnt become confrontational about it because one its just not the way she does things and really she didnt want cloud to leave and all but lets not go down that road. Tifa is a very deep, very complex, and caring character and she is damn hard to write. she tends to go with the flow and be optimistic about any situation, but she is a bit of a mother hen, even if she doesnt do it verbally.

But i think that cloud is gunna be your hardest because you have to take some of what cloud was in Crisis Core, and the game and turn his experiences to a girls point of view while still trying to cling to his original persona. and i understand that she did train under zack and what not and doesnt have near the confidence and inferiority issues that CC cloud has that last little part was a little cocky i think.

and i understand that this is an AU and a crossover but i do think that you should try to stick with the bases of the characters because not only will it just work better but your story will be more popular because these characters are the ones we all fell in love with a decade ago and it will help you see all sides of the original character and help with further writing.

the other thing is very small in comparison. its just that your description of her sword, its a little weird dont you think? I mean you did say that it was smaller than the buster sword right? and Cloud in the original game was five foot seven and the sword goes up to about his chest and the handle up to his neck or so as seen in AC(ya know when hes standing at the cliff). now that would make the sword around 5 feet in total length. your description of the breaker sword was that it was seven feet in total length...one that just contridicts yourself and two its completely unconventional to have a sword that long. one you couldnt carry it on your back because the blade would be have to be plunged about a foot into the ground for her to reach the handle. and secondly it just seems wrong.

personally i think you should have the blade itself around 3 or so feet in length and dedicate another foot for the guard and handle...when shes only five feet tall, it would give the size same illusion as the buster on male cloud

I am open and eligible for betaing and would do so if you request it...i really got nothin else goin on right now so if you want a beta ill do it...

other that that little rant i think you got a really good idea going and i would like to see it carried out in its entireity.

Keep it up!!

-Dis

Hey it has been almost a full year sence you updated this do you plan to continue this or has it been abandoned?

Oh! I hope you update soon! I can't wait to see what will happen... what went wrong with Zack? I love femCloud stories, but I've only ever found three. I hope you decide to keep this going; I'll be waiting!

this is great!
please continue soon, o wonderful writer!

this great story so far pleaz write more soon

So Cloud won't be like Alicia, but she'll have all of Hrist's abilities (i.e.: Materialization and Photon Projection) and probably make Zack into an Einherjar. On a side note, this is the first fic with Cloud as a woman I ever read. Let's see how you'll continue her adventure through out FF7.

Interesting story so far, I like it, but I'd probably like it better if I knew anything at all about Valkyrie Profile . . . do you happen to have a site I could look at so that I don't get so lost?

LadyoftheDrow out

This is good. It shows definet promise. The way you have everything is certainly interesting. The events, and the reasons why Cloud is so out there is very good. I can't wait for the update.

this is really good! i look forward to reading more of this!

Need another thingy in her mind called Jebus.