love it please write more its perfect!

this is a very well written story. i loved reading every word of it, and i can't wait for the rest. Please update asap

wow, a truly amazing fic. its kinda like the one of the possible next logical steps for the series, all be it a slightly darker one. please update it soon, it could be one of the truly great piece's of fiction on the internet.

I have to say this is a awesome story, I am a big mf/ron fan but even if I wasnt this is one of my all time favorite KP fanfics!
Please please keep working on this.

This story is seventeen individual kinds of awesome. I should know; I counted. Three seperate kinds of awesome are related to Fiske. The line "Monkey Ninjas, attack!" accounts for one.

In fact, I like it so much you can just assume that I like it, and I shall say no more on that subject.

On to the bits I didn’t like so much about it.

1: The Plot. While expertly delivered, it IS a classic formula, which you only really deviate from in the most recent couple of chapters. Still, the classics are classics for a reason, and originality is hard to come by around here.

2: Dr. Director. She’s been ripped straight from a Dan Brown novel. Actually, that was kinda insulting. Sorry. (N.B. If this is actually how she is portrayed on the show, I apologise. I haven’t seen any episodes involving her. Actually, I haven’t seen very many episodes, although I have trawled FF extensively.)

3: An Aura. Not really a criticism, but I get this feeling of…sort of self-satisfaction from this story. It’s in your profile, too. Of course, this could be simply a side effect of the tremendous jealousy I get when reading your work. It makes me look like the shabby amateur that I am.

4: The Fact That You Haven’t Updated In A While. Also known as TFTYHUIAW. Try pronouncing THAT around a gobstopper. Your drool would quench desert nations.

Liked the Jak II quote, by the way.

MNBP

man you realy no how to write a story this is the type of plot ive been looking for as my bio says. i love and can not wate to see the beat down that kimmess got to get from ron keep it up and keep with thes type of plots thay rock.

i can not wait for the next chaptor of this and the other stories of yours that are in my faverit

Just read chapter 1-7, and I have to say... this is probably one of my favorite stories on this site, your writing is fantastic. You kept me on edge the entire time, wondering what was going to happen next.

I can't wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! ^^

just read chapters 1-7 of this. and it interesting to say the lest .. i'm hopeing more chapters pop up soon

so far the story is great .. talk at ya later

"Drakken, is there something you're not telling me?" I can't believe you hinted at that. But it fits in so well. Drakken is such a space case that he doesn't know what he's doing half the time. Why oh why coudln't Shego have found those schematics. She'd have ripped on him like there's no tomorrow.

Great exchange between Shego and Ron. I can't see them as a couple; more a sibling relationship, but just because it's Ron and Shego doesn't mean they have to be together. What? A boy and girl can't be best friends? (Oop. Just caught myself)

And Monique and Rufus. Now that's an orignal pairing!

Knight

Ungh! I love how in character everyone is! Great great job!

"“Oh, and what have I gained?”

“Well, me and Monty for starters.”

“I’mso lucky,” Ron deadpanned."

LMAO!

MORE! :D

Very, very interesting story you have going here. It's going to be interesting to see how the Kim/Ron conflict finally comes to a head.

Keep up the good work.

I snickered when I read the beginning, with Kim and Drakken. Its creepy but so easily imaginable. XD I -loved- the part where Monty soothed Ron back to sleep...so cute! I kinda hoped for more Monty/Ron rather than the Shego and Ron talk but good job

Well, this was surely the chapter with the most action so far, and surprisingly, very dynamic. Got to congratulate you for that. Although I missed the big amount of intense character development that frequented the previous chapters, I suppose this kind of chapters should also take place every now and then.

Truth to be told, I rarely have so much to comment about action, but this time I caught something that called my attention: In many fights, including (or maybe specially) the one between Kim and Shego, had much more kicks than punches, and even though I know Kim’s and Shego’s style seem to be more inclined to kicks than anything else, sometimes a kick would follow right after a kick, making the reader (or at least me) picture an scenario in which the fighter’s decision didn’t make that much sense, as in, probably a hit would have fit much more in that moment. Just a thought.

And good work on the scene that was told twice but from two different perspectives. You know, first Kim’s fight in which she used the grapple to get close to the enemy, and then Shego and Ron inside the air vent, meeting said grapple and then realizing Kim was there. Good work there! *thump up*

Well, now going back to the characters… again, there ain’t much to say, sadly.

Shego was, well, Shego. She fought her way out of the base, did everything she had to and she did it well… until she had to fall for the temptation of her one and only weakness: Kim, which applies on this fic whenever it is KiGo or not! XD

AHEM! Okay, seriously now, I don’t know what freaks me out more: How low Global Justice is being portrayed in this fic that it even goes to involve innocent people in order to get what they want, or the kidnapped people’s attitude of “Let’s just rest ‘til someone saves us”.

On one hand, we have an organization that no longer deserves to carry the word “justice” in its name. NOTHING of what they’ve done here and so far could be considered as done for justice. I don’t know whenever I can assume something or not yet, but it seems like they are just driven by a hunger of power, specially Dr. Director.

And talking about Miss Elizabeth (WTF!?), did she really die? Somehow I’m not so sure.

Now returning to the family members with similarly out-of-nowhere brought new names (which got me confused for a moment), honestly, their attitudes make me wish they WON’T be rescued so that they finally come to their senses and attempt to escape by themselves. But no, I wouldn’t place my money on that, unless this somehow brought you some ideas.

Of Ron I can’t say anything; all that there was about him was a few lines, none of them relevant. But with Kim, well, how do I put this? She becoming a psycho, I CAN buy it, but not the way you’ve done it. I’m not saying you did a bad character development (or un-development), but it STILL feels like there’s always something missing to really make it work. In other words, like I told you, I CAN buy it, but only if I fill those empty gaps myself. You see, in order for someone to become a psycho like Kim is doing in this fic, that person has to go through a lot of mental torturing, some of which might be applied even without the person realizing it. Now, because of everything that happened, I can tell Kim’s sanity has been constantly at test ever since she joined GJ, but you made nearly no description about said torment, if any. So either you deliberately attempted to leave it to the reader’s imagination and it came out… not so good, or you actually forgot something there. Both ways, Kim is the weak point on this fic.

Lastly, I never complained much about your portrayal of Drakken, but I’m afraid your perspective is getting the worst of you sometimes, and in this case, it’s like you’re focusing 90% of your portrayal of Drakken focusing on his cowardice. Now, I’m not denying he can certainly be a coward, but there’s also that stupidity of him that makes him “look” brave, at least to himself, even though all that he is being is imprudent enough like to face something he cannot possibly beat (Example: His fight against Kim in “Clean Slate”), and I’m sorry to tell that, if you only put him as a constant coward, then Drakken’s character is inevitably losing his charm.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Yay for “Monkey ninjas, attack!”! ^o^
I mean, about time! XD
With Monkey Fist once again in the stage, I’m looking forward for future character interaction.
And hey, hey!! He placed the unconscious Ron on his lap and harnessed both of them together?! Smart move, Monty!! XD

Now, what the hell is wrong with me? I start saying there’s no much to say but I end up surprising even myself.

I can tell there’s going to be more action in this fic’s future, but with this whole ordeal settled, I’m actually expecting some moments of peace among the characters for now, even if it’s only the quietness that foresees the storm. Overall, I think I could say I love half of this fic and nearly hate the other half… which makes this all one big pain for me. Then again, I’m kind of masochist, so bring on the pain!

Doy, I’m getting out of topic here. Anyway, as always, I’ll be looking forward to the next chapter, so good luck with it!

I really enjoy this story. Please keep it up.

GLAD TO SEE YOU UPDATE!! A lot of action in this one.. woah.
I can't wait to see more of MF soon ;] *hinthint* Lol